Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008

This is the last day of year 2007.
I guess it has been a great year for me.
Though I am still stuck with epilepsy, but I grew up psychologically and spiritually.
Been through quite a lot, did more acting and performing than anything else, which yes, I did enjoy.
But in the year 2008, I hope to earn more money and be a blessing to people around me. I want to do what God wants me to do. To give more of my time and love to people in my life, to bring them to their feet when they fall. Another thing is, I hope to write more poems and plays, hone up my writing skills.
2007's Christmas Musical was wonderful! No words can describe how much I love it, how much I love the teamwork and the effort everyone has put in. And of course, how loving and great is our God.
I want to thank my family for being so loving and understanding towards me, though sometimes I could be quite stubborn. Thanks a gazillionz Daddy, Mommy and Artie.
Also, I want to thank my bunch of close friends who never failed to care and cheer me up and always making me feel important. *muacks* to Lou and Zac, Nic, Jocelyn.
Of course not forgetting my darling sister: Marianne dearie. Thanks gurl for everything, for being so understanding of my busy schedule, never blaming me, never laying guilt traps on me. Love you dear.
Last but not least, my OIKOS family. You guys are great manz. You never know how much I appreciate you guys for treating me like an adult but at the same time doting on me and caring so much about me.
So much for 2007, it's time for 2008.
I'm sure 2008 will be a greater and more fufilling year than before.
I throw my arms wide open to embrace the coming year.
Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008!

Yesterday morning I went for sunday service.
Altar call was to receive God's love, and to have the assurance that God loves everyone of us.
Many went forward for the altar call, including me.
Some say that we lack of self-assurance, or lack of faith.
Well, sorry but I beg to differ.
In life, not everything is smooth-sailing, we may fall, get tired or totally exhausted.
To go for altar call does not necessarily mean that we do not have faith or self-assurance, we just need encouragement from God, a touch from the Lord.
In fact, the willingness to step out to the altar proves that we saw the problem in ourselves, and we are willing face it with God.

I am much annoyed by someone who always writes his blog with this mindset as if the whole world have offended him and as if only he knows what is the best. I mean, can't you deal with life and people with a bit more of understanding and compassion? Can't you stand in others' perspective to look at life? Well, maybe I really don't understand you enough, but I don't think you have any right to pass any judgement on others.

女人vs社会_part2

我有蛮多朋友都是未婚怀孕，然后，因为有了孩子而结婚。
所谓的shot-gun marriage。
我不是不赞同未婚怀孕，而是，我不同意为了肚子里的孩子而要男人“负责任”。
利用“责任”这两个字来绑住男人，男人就不会式着逃跑么？即使躯壳不逃，心也会逃吧。
结了婚，任何一方都可能行为出馗，也可能两个人都遗憾自己一生就这样没有了自由、要为家庭而放弃理想。
这样的婚姻真地会快乐吗？
如果，你的男人一心一意爱着你，即使老了，爱情可能变成单纯的依赖与信任，但至少那还是一种爱。
可悲的是；他不爱你，只是为了负起这个责任而娶你。
但可怕的是；他觉得要负责任，所以他娶了你，尝试爱你一生，但半途却发现原来他没这个本事爱你。最后，两个人离婚收场或者像两个陌路人一起生活，
你们想一想；对那无辜的孩子公平么？
如果，我未婚怀孕，我不会因此而要男方负起什么鬼责任。
我不需要他因为“责任”而娶我，我要他因为爱我、爱我的家人、爱我肚子里的孩子、爱我的一切才娶我。
如果，他没这个本事爱我一生，那我大可做个单亲妈妈。
女人们，当你们决定把小生命带到这个世界上，你就要有准备为他牺牲一切，他就要成为你生命的中心。
没有人要你们一辈子当单亲妈妈，当你遇到心仪的人时，你能渴望得到幸福。
但是，你要确保你得lover能够接受并爱惜你的一切，那包括你的孩子。
要不然，免谈。
孩子是在毫无选择的情况下被你带到这个世界的，所以，既然你作出了生下他的决定，就要为你的决定而负责。你有责任保护他，疼爱他以及教育他。
社会怎么看待你们未婚生子、单亲妈妈之类的想法，已经不重要了。
因为你生命的中心是你的孩子，你要为了你带来的这个小生命而勇敢地面对生活的一切。
单亲妈妈也能很快乐，也能很成功。

女人vs社会_part1

我不明白为什么社会总是觉得女人是祸的根源。
你们没有发现吗？
每次男女之间的关系或婚姻出了问题，矛头第一个指向的总会是女人。
不管是说：“是那个狐狸精勾引我老公的！”，或者说：“我的女朋友/老婆已经不能让我再感到兴奋。”又或者“She could not make me feel passionate about us anymore.”
你们有没有发现，通常男女之间出现了问题，女人总是第一个中标。
为什么？
难道男人就没有错么？
为什么第一个反应不是：“He's such a jerk!” 或者“小姐，你应该立刻甩掉他”？
Why?
如果，你的男朋友爱上另一个女生，你是不是恨死那个女人？
为何没有埋怨男友擅变的感情？或者，为什么没有怪自己in the first place没有好好的管制他？
女人为什么要为难你的同类？
而男人为什么一碰到麻烦就会全赖在我们女人头上？
Oh, do I hear your man's ego ranting again?
Ha! So sorry, I don't like what I'm hearing, NEXT!!!

我寻找的

我刚刚买了一只手表，其实是妈妈替我付了钱。
本来，纯粹想买只手表以方便教书的时候拿捏时间的掌控，但是买了手表之后才发现自己原来可以很简单。
这只手表的表带是棕褐色，有着一个四方的脸，一点花俏的图案或亮片都没有。它的脸上整齐地排着应有的罗马数字，配上那浅褐色的脸，这只表的整体让人觉得有一种古典的简单。
我越看这只手表就越喜欢它，它看起来很简单，但却非常的沉稳，犹如一颗橡树，又扎实又有着一丝成熟，让人能够依靠。
我想，或许我在找这样的人或者我在找这样的自己吧。
一个沉稳、扎实、成熟的人，不需要多话，但是在适当的时候说对的话，而常常在一旁聆听着别人，观察着别人。
我越看这只表就越喜欢它。
可能，I'm falling in love with my watch just like how Elinor fell in love with her oak tree, 或许，有时候我们想找的qualities在人类里找不到，可能在一些东西上才找得到吧。
难怪，有时候一些人会放弃在同类群中寻找，应该是因为要找的话应该很不容易，因为，nobody could ever meet up to their expectations 所以，他们宁愿在别的东西里或在异类中找他们所希望的qualities吧。
我想，我应该是找到了，而我希望的qualities are in my watch.

my p4 and p3

This afternoon I went to teach my Primary Four kids. They are so fun, and I meant, real fun. Basically, they weren't very good in Chinese (duh, or else why would they be in my class) but they really have that eagerness to learn something new and to interact with me. They are talkative but not rowdy, and I'm so thankful for that. I like my students to interact with me, but they must know their limits. I'm having problems with my Primary Three English Writing class. They are uber rowdy and the whole class is chaotic, I just pray they could have that interest and eagerness to learn, and not always thinking of playing games.
I love it today, I feel so happy with this Primary Four class. =) Gonna buy them some presents as prizes, 'cos we had a contest today. Whee!~

喜欢，骗你

你到底知不知道我喜欢你啊？
哈。
骗你的啦！
骗你，真的。

stop me

This morning I felt so crappy because of him. You might think: 'What a joke, girl. You have completely put him off your mind, you totally treat him as a friend now.' Yeah, maybe. But if that is really the case, then why did I weep when I think of him? Why did I feel that I was going to breakdown if I see his face again? Sometimes I wonder have I really let go of that past relationship, what is happening to me manz? I saw him from where I was, I felt stupid performing when he was there, then I became angry with myself because I'm mindful of what he thinks. I tried to laugh hard, look other directions or even trying to look focused on what I'm supposed to do. I know all these are just ways to cover up my embarrasment as well as my heartache but I could not help it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so stupid, maybe I just need a good cry and I'll be fine. I'm just being emotional, I'll be alright soon.
Gurl, get a grip on yourself.

uber tired

O goodness!
I'm uber exhausted right now, my eyelids are practically drooping, can't really see the laptop monitor. That's how sleepy I am. Wrong. It's not just sleepy, but also drowsy and my whole body aching. These are what I get from a day's work. Especially when I have a class of Primary 2 students in the morning and a class of Primary 6 students in the evening, followed by 3 hours of dancing and singing for the musical rehearsals.
However, somehow or rather, I am kinda satisfied and fufilled. I guess I made full use of my day and I did things I like. Dancing, singing and acting were three things I love, so musical rehearsals are not much of a drag for me. Ha! I thought teaching will be a tough road for me but I guess I'm starting to like it after all. I mean, the kids are cute and it is fun to see the different kids from different background, how they are brought up and how they behave.
I am exhausted but super fufilled. I think the next thing on my list will be french lessons at Alliance Francaise. Cool!
I needa sleep soon, the laptop screen is becoming smaller......

smell sOoh LoveLay

Oh-em-gee!!!
Do you know I fell so deeply in love with this Anna Sui Dolly Girl Ooh La Love perfume?
Anna Sui Dolly Girl Ooh La Love is a beautiful sparkling creation that has the feminine essence of this wonderful mixture of a little fruit, spice, green leaves, soft blossoms and amber! I went out shopping with my boyfriends, I mean, guy friends, and they ALL love this fragrance. So, gurls, grab this quick! I'm sure your boys will love it on you! Bet they won't stop sniffin' you! Ha!
Update later! I'm going for lunch now!

My friends and my december

I finally found a job!I will be teaching chinese in a learning centre.O well, and maybe teaching english too.Good for me, because I'll be earning my own keep.This month of december will be super busy for me, I'll be working and going for musical rehearsals almost everyday.

I miss 'Nic, he's all the way at China.Hope he's doing well.Hey brother remember we do care yeah!JiaYou babe!Hope to see you soon!

I've got a lovely bunch of friends, I couldn't thank them enough.Though sometimes, we do get frustrated with each other, but still we love each other!

Whee!~ =)

*Just before 'Nic left for China, we're at the Starbucks in Airport.

*This was a candid shot at One Fullerton, all of us were playing a fool.*A sorta formal take, but still, we can't help grinning widely.*Okie, another one. Come, come, let's bai-pose!*Cutie Alan and me outside NewUrbanMale at The Heeren. How sweet is that boy!!!*So ol' school! We sibz and Lou goes way back like, 7 years ago. 7 years of friendship, can you imagine that?!*Confessions of the official packet-tissue man to the teenage char-kway-teow queen. Lols!*Jo, Me, Lou, Art and Zac. We're with our parents at Village, celebrating Zac's and my dad's birthday.*How cute!!!!!!*It's gurl power manz!*We're a weird pair. Been through a lot huh......*See lah, don't even know why he want to check the teenage queen's bag lor. What d'ya reckon I'll bring? Drugs? Lols.*Look, my friends and my parents can get along well ok. So fun lah!I'm very satisfied with my life now. I just want to work, have fun and be radically obedient to God!

Fun with me friends

Yayhey!!!
Met up with Marianne dearie on Tuesday night.
S'been sucha long time gurl.
We had loads of food, heart to heart chats, more food and more chats.
We simply love to hop from one place to another for food and ambience.
Remeniscence, comparison and planning.
All in our chats chats chats.
Then, yesterday was a total fun baking session for me lah, we did my debut at Jo's house.
My first ever serious baking session.
It's serious but fun at the same time.
My bread and butter pudding turned out super delicious can......
Yummy!!!
Love it manz.
A pity I don't have an oven at home, if not I'll bake it for you people!
Wahahahaha!

This soul thou viewest in me
That maketh me doth the tillage of heart
What soul is this wraps itself in mystery
That maketh me pitched in full guard
And pierces with the sword of sensitivity
Yet fills me hearty with the sea of quietness
With contant callings of percieving
O, and I listen with much loveliness
The world speaketh worriment unto me soul
However dreamily mine eyes speak
Twas this stillness in me soul that reach in cold
No wool of any lamb could do
Giveth warmth to this soul on this world move

The final show-down

Yesterday I sat for one of the major examinations.
It was Chinese Grammer.
As all of you know from my previous posts, I don't really fancy Chinese Grammer.
So, well, I didn't really stressed myself over my Chinese Grammer.
I mean, I just read up on what I thought was important and I told myself to just do my best.
So, I told God: Jesus You know ah, I really don't like Chinese Grammer. But I seriously don't want to fail that module lah. 'Cos I don't want to say Sayonara and pay 80 grand for failing. So God, You know only You can help me now, I don't know who else to turn to.
Well, yesterday wasn't too much of a battle. 'Cos thankfully, the paper wasn't that difficult as I imagine. So, Hallelujah! Love You Jesus! *muackz*
Tomorrow is another major paper on Etymology.
Now still in the process of revising.
Just do my best, God help me!

finally! assignments finished!

Can't believe it yeah? I'm still here at this hour.
Hahahaha!
I just finished my last assignment.
Wahahahaha!
You know I tried to sleep just now, but the assignment was weighing heavily in my mind that I couldn't go to lalaland.
So I sit up straight and start doing my assignment.
Once I start, I can't stop!
Whee!~
And now, finally I finished my assignment, I'm too excited to sleep.
Darn!
Hahahaha!
Tomorrow I still got to go print my Chinese Grammer notes.
Got to study for my major examinations, due on 12 and 14 nov.
Sighs.
And more sighs.

may the wind bring you my love

Nowadays I'm so busy with school and church musical rehearsals.
One more assignment to finish and two more major examinations to go through.
Life's not easy, but God is good to me.
Yesterday's speaker in church was Rev. Glenda Watson.
She talked about letting go and restoration.
I was deeply touched by her message.
Sort of what I needed and what I've been through.
Letting go and the restoration of the soul is something everyone need to do, I guess.
Can't wait for this friday, 'cos it's my turn to do WordEd.
I've got loads to share.
=)

My friends out there: Marianne gurlie, Lou, Zac, Jo and the whole JD gang and many others,
I'm sorry if I can't meet you guys yeah.
'Cos these two weeks will be the busiest for me, after 16 nov, I'll try to meet up yeah.
Also, Nic, I miss you so much. Do take care of yourself in China.
Love you guys so much.
May the wind bring you my love.
-kisses-

dont think you angmohs can bully us hor

You people saw the news on three UK guys bullying the elderly man riding trishaw?
These three beefy UK guys sat on a trishaw, the trishaw man was an elderly.
He had a difficult time riding a trishaw with three guys on it, yet the UK guys made fun of him!!!
I was feeling so damn indignant for the old man.
Tears of fury nearly spilled out of my eyes, this surge of fire just shoot straight up to my face.
Felt like clenching my fist and rain punches on the UK guys.
Best thing, get sumo wrestlers to tau-pok them.
Hmph!
To the three UK guys who bullied the old trishaw man:
you guys should be ashamed of yourselves!
Brought shame to your countries and families.
God will punished you guys. Hmph!
I think they should be forced to ride a day's trishaw and give the money that they've earned to the old man.
And all of us, should go tekan them.
Plus, they should make a public apology to the old man, IN CHINESE!!!
And in english, of course.
Grrrr!!!!
If we can, we should pelt them with rotten eggs and hang a humongous tag on their neck saying:
We're sorry for bullying the old and weak.
Roar!!! So freaking angry lah!

buck up gurl

From my knowledge, I reckon I collapsed under the exhaustion of work.
Last week was a terribly busy week for me.
Many assignments to finish, working till late nights and all......
Well, though my dark eye circles did not disappear in these three days of rest,
but I definitely felt much better after this long break.
It's time I buck up and do something about my remaining assignments.
And, not to mention exams too.

Hmmm......after exams I'm going to take up Bollywood dancing lessons.
And I'm going to buy Punjabi clothes and get someone to do some henna designs on me.
Hahahaha!!!
I'm so sure I'm an Indian disguise as a Chinese you know.
Lols!
=P

damn sick......

Now I really wished I could just die.
'Cos I'm having painful tonsils, coughing like I contracted tubercolosis and wheezing away as if there's no tomorrow.
Gahh!!!
And I can't even speak now!
I've turned into a dumb girl.
Can you imagine a chatty girl who likes to laugh keeping silent and still?!
This is ridiculous!
Urrgghh!!!
My bones and muscles ache too......
I hate these......
Someone help me!
All the doctor say was "Amanda, you've got to drink more water and rest more."
Can't they understand I cannot afford to rest at this point of time where I have 2 more teaching proposals to finish?!
I almost dug my brains out to think of interesting activities for my teaching proposals okay!
Hmph!
Make me so agitated leh!

torturing tonsils

I am so exhausted.
There were literally a hill load of assignments waiting for me.
My tonsils are swollen and they hurt like hell.
I hate it when my tonsils swell, they hurt so much.
Yet, they swell easily.
Bad tonsils.
Hmph!

behind every comedy is a tragedy

I went for my favourite movie-alone outing yet again.
This time it was at The Picturehouse.
There were less than ten people in The Picturehouse, and most of them were the whites.
Yet, I felt strangely warm and comfortable in there.
I reckon it's the khaki-coloured seats and soft yellow lightings that made the whole cinema so homely yet elegant.
Oh, and you know something? Before the movie starts, they played jazz and it was really soothing to the soul.

The movie I caught was a french film: "Molière".
Jean-Baptiste Poquelin also known as Molière, I've learnt about him when I took up Acting and Directing. Well, it was his name I heard of but not really his story.
Today, it seems that I added depth to my knowledge of Molière.
The french film showed the life of the famous french comedian cum dramatist, the obstacles he deal with, the love he gave and the sacrifice he made.
At the same time, I saw the passion he had for theatre and the woman he loved so dearly.
It's so hard to put down in words everything I watched in The Picturehouse, but I have to say that the life of Molière is one that I would like to experience.
The ups and downs of life and the emotions that we go through are the things that make life valuable.
I believe behind every comedy, comes with a tragedy or something that touch the human hearts so deeply that one will be able to remember it for life.
There was a scene where Molière's lover was dying, at her deathbed she requested Molière to make her laugh.
Molière's reply was, " How do you expect me to make laughter out of a situation that expects me to weep?"
And do you know what his lover said?
"If that's the case, invent it."
I was so touched by the whole film that tears just rolled down my cheeks without me knowing.
And the main lead, Romain Duris, is so HANDSOME!!!
I strongly recommend this movie to everyone, it's totally lovely.

Acting is the profession of sensitivity, not appearance.

鱼尾纹是快乐的象征

今天跟同学们吃午饭的时候，我不停地大笑。
可能，我真的非常地爱笑吧。
当我大笑的时候，总是感到那么的自然，好像有一股渴望自由的欲望随着笑声爆发出来。

萍说：“你笑什么笑啦？在笑的话，就满脸鱼尾纹咯！”
我：“哎呀，难道你不懂鱼尾纹是快乐的象征么？哈哈哈！”

对呀，鱼尾纹对我来说并不是什么好担心的事情，其实我觉得越多鱼尾纹越好，因为那代表我一生都很快乐，即使遇到挫则，我还是那么豪放地笑着，面对人生百态。
所以啊，我并不介意每天大笑，脸上浮现鱼尾纹，因为我知道我快乐。
大家，不要害怕在脸上表现自己的情绪。
想笑的时候就大笑吧，想生气破口大骂的时候就骂吧，想哭的时候就让眼泪自然地滑下脸颊吧！
根本就不用在意别人怎么看你，因为每个人都有表达自己的机会与自由。
做回自己，让自己快乐些。

好困，我要睡觉了。
明天还要测验呐，讨厌死了！
Wish me luck manz.

自己

我知道有时候自己的思想很荒谬。
友人都说我是疯子，因为我的思维跟一般人不一样。
我脑子里都装着一些奇奇怪怪的东西。
我常常会有很多疑问而且很多思想都是在挑战社会规矩。
或许，我只是从不同的角度看待同一样事情。
但是，不是每个人都能理解。
我不怪他们，因为有时候，我也不太了解自己。
但是，我不觉得自己有任何错，我也不为自己的观念和行为感到羞愧。
因为，我相信每个人都是个体，思想不通、观念不同，不能把自己的一套理念套在另一个人的身上。
那样对两方都不公平，人们没有思想的能力，也失去了选择的权利。
所以，我喜欢自己与自己所作的一切。

trust in Him

Jesus comforts His followers.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in Me."
John 14:1

Rain, in the train

I was extremely embarrassed that I wet my bosom with beads of tears this afternoon, on the train to school.
With my earplugs of my mp3 stuck in my ears, I was listening to a pretty upbeat song. So actually it should be quite weird to weep with such a song.
However, it was apparently what I did.

I received a message on my mobile.
It was from my brother who was in camp.
He told me that the whole platoon was punished because of some sabo king.
Even though he had a hard time in there, he didn't fail to ask me to take good care of myself and not tire myself out.
It was then I felt a strong surge of emotions in me, and puddles just formed in my eyes.
In a split second, my eyes just could not contain my tears and they just ooze out like the rain drops outside the train.
Immediately, I lowered my head and squeezed my eyes tight to avoid the other passengers' shocked looks, and that was when I saw blotchy spots on my bosom and my v-neck tee.
It was then that I realised I felt more secure and alive with my brother around, whether outside or in the house.
He understands me, stands up for me and protects me, he's my best friend.

I wiped away my tears soon enough but the emotions in me sure lingered for quite awhile.
I will be alright after a good cry.
I have Jesus with me.
Art, remember, you have Jesus with you too.

Father God, You're my Redeemer and Friend. And You're forever with me, pour down Your comfort upon me, Lord. I need You.

with character and attitude

Junn and I went to Kinokuniya for Li Xie's book launch this afternoon.
I adore her and the stuff she wrote.
She is one woman with attitude and character.
非常地我行我素。
She signed on my book with a very creative signature.
I strongly encourage all to read her book, 《留下你的死人头》。
The title may sound a little morbid, but it's just her, you know.
Unique and outstanding from the rest.


The host:黄文鸿 and the author of 《留下你的死人头》:李邪。

I met up with my Art, Lou and Zac in the evening, at the Cathay.
There's a candy floss machine at the entrance of Cathay, I went up and took a look.
I love it when the fluffy floss go round and round the machine, I could feel the rhythm by just staring at it.
Then, this beefy guy with curly hair handed me a stick of candy floss.
Immediately, like a little girl, I gave a little squeal of delight and thank him for it.
I stood beside him and let the candy floss vanished on my tongue.
Soon, I realised he looks good because he has a very kind face, I mean, I could see kindness in his eyes as he hand out sticks of candy floss to people around.
A smile lingered on my face, I think this is what it means when people say that a person will look good when he/she has a heart of gold.

Guess I'll go brew some chamomile tea, well, as all of us should know by now, I'm in a battle with insomnia.

chinese grammer part II

Alright, I just reached home.
Like, finally I ended my chinese grammer test.
Whee!~
Well, it wasn't too difficult lah.
Though I was kinda nervous while doing the test, but I found out that most of my answers were correct.
Checked my notes immediately after I hand in the papers, you know.
Great, it's time for me to rest now.
I'm going to oikos tonight.
Can't wait!
=)

chinese grammer

Gawd, chinese grammer is killing me.
I pray that I don't fail my test tomorrow.
And I hope for good results, in fact.
Who doesn't aim for high marks?
I do, in fact I desire for the best and I'm not ashamed of this desire.
Sometimes, I get a lil' ambitious, but it's never a bad thing.
At least I don't think so.
No, wait.
In fact, I'm proud of being so.
Hah, that's just me lah.

Alright, now back to mugging.
Potato-Arse, I hate you for this.
You better pay back by giving me better marks.
Pfft! -scowls-

insomnia

I just want to come here and write something.
Tired lah.
But too much things on my mind, I'm having insomnia.

random leh

I'm so sleepy yet my mind can't stop tossing and turning.
I have a test tomorrow and I'm supposed to be in bed now, but just not able to sleep.
Sigh.
Maybe I could do with a Long Island right now, with some loud music.

I'm still pondering whether I should move into hostel next year.
You know, I can really save the trouble, time and energy of traveling to and fro.
And independent living suits me fine.
Hostel is an attractive choice for me.

Gawd, I needa catch some sleep.
My head hurts.
Long Island is definite for me.
Maybe......this coming Wednesday?

终于有时间blog

我总是爱问自己：我到底做出正确的选择吗？
当我选择了和教育部签下“卖身契”的决定，我是否走错了这一步？
我不停地询问自己。
后来，不知道听谁说了一句话，我像是被点醒似的。
那个人说：“人生的每一个阶段都是一个舞台，你处在哪一个舞台，就扮演好你在那个舞台的角色，甚至要扮演的更好，更加地淋漓尽致。”
既然，我选择了教学的舞台，那我就应该尽心尽力扮演好我教师的角色。
我为何要质疑、后悔我的选择或者把自己拖垮呢？
履行我五年的合约后，我还是一条好汉，还是属于舞台的演员。
到时候，又是另一种舞台，另一种角色扮演，另一种体验了。

刚才，我在冲凉时，研究出一种解除压力与疲惫的好方法。
我把自己冲干净后，然后坐在浴室的地板上，再把花撒调到头顶上，让水唰唰唰地打在我头上身上。
尽量让脑子放空，什么都别想，就像睡觉一样。
感觉一下水与皮肤之间的跳动。
然后，慢慢地用手捂着耳朵。
这样子，耳边听到的是瀑布似的声音。
那种感觉很原始，也非常的新鲜刺激。
当你睁开眼睛，可能就没那么累，感觉也轻松多了。
至少这是我研究出来的方法呀！
试试看吧！
=）

the boys

Art and Zac are in National Service, Pulau Tekong.
Nic is in Zhejiang, China.
Sigh.
I miss them boys.
I hope Nic is still going on safe and strong in China.
I pray that Art and Zac are doing well in Tekong, I really hope they are strong both physically and emotionally, to go through National Service.
I truly miss my brother.
Miss the times we observe people and chat.
Miss the times we eat good food and drink and make merry.
Miss the times we talk and share secrets and lend support to each other.
I feel like crying, every time I got happy news or got myself into trouble, the first one I turn to is my brother.
Now, I really want Artie!!!
Now, then I realised I really rely too much on my brother.
Sigh.
I want my brother.
I just pray everything will be going fine for him in there.
Ameneth.

music video production

Monday blues today?
Nope, absolutely no moody-me today.
Just a little exhausted from the assignments as well as the music video shoot I took on Saturday and Sunday.
And you know, with the bad cough and flu bug attack, I'm totally down on my immune system.
But anyway, I had fun doing the music video.
Well, I played the female role who got peeked at by her neighbour, then slapped by her boyfriend and finally, being proposed by her boyfriend who gave her a hug and a weird ring.
*roll my delicate eyeballs*
Don't think it's easy acting, 'cos it's not.
But that's where I like it, it's challenging and I get the kick out of it.
At first, Tim(the guy who acted as my boyfriend)didn't dare to slap me.
Awww......he's too much of a humble gentleman.
Hahaha. But apparently because he's too gentlemenly, the slap kinda looked fake.
So, I looked into his eyes and said,"Tim! Slap me, just slap me hard and swift!"
He went like, "No......I cannot."
"Just give me a REAL slap!"
And then, action!
PIACK!!! Right smack, hard on my cheeks.
I was like, GRRRREEAT!!! You know, the feeling is as if I've got an Oscar award.
But the problem was, the crew were too shocked for words and Tim, stunned by the slap turned to the camera and stick out his tongue.
Sighers.
So, we took about 4 takes of real slaps before we got the best one.
Everyone was concern whether the slaps were too hard on me, I told them that everything's ok and not to worry.
Tim was sucha good friend, he took a pack of ice for me to de-swell.
Hahaha. =)
But there's another scene that's more difficult to take than the slapping one.
It's the proposal cum hugging scene.
'Cos everyone was laughing their heads off.
I just burst out laughing.
Took me quite a while to settle into the romantic feel, you know.
Maybe Tim's a little more comical than my previous counterparts in other productions, that's why I laughed so much when I'm supposed to be romantic with him.
Lols~
Albeit the slaps and awkward hugs, I had fun. Whee!~
=)

随笔

最近，生活很忙碌，但是，很单调。
我一点也不喜欢。
以前的我，虽然忙碌，但我不觉得累，反而觉得生活多姿多彩。
而且过得充实。
我真的不知道自己是怎么了。

不知道健安现在还好么，希望他在杭州会愉快。
健安，如果你在读我的博克，记得发个电邮给我哦！
会想念你的，我的好弟弟！=）

going away

Awww......I'm going to send 'Nic off later.
He's going to China to study for 4 and a half months, just like me, previously.
Hope he likes the farewell present I got him.
Gonna miss him so much loh.

After his departure, the next will be Zac and Art.
Nope, they won't be going to China.
But they are going into NS.
Sighs.
Everyone's going away soon.

A little too soon.

等我五年

很多时候，每当只有我们俩在一起时，它总是以很委屈的眼神看着我。

它问我：
我们在一起那么久了，你却不曾带我出去。你每天都把我关在这间房子里，这间名叫心的房子里。

对不起，我真的带着千种亏欠。

我很怕总有一天，你会放弃我而我会渐渐被闷死。

不要！我求你不要死！我不是不要让你出来，不过我真的还没有那个能力带你出来。你等我，拜托你！

我等你五年了！五年前我们在剧团里邂逅，我就在你的心等了五年啊！你到底还要我等多久啊？
不久不久，多五年，就只是多五年，好么？

五年？你要我再等多一个五年？我会爆炸的！我要飞翔！

就五年，五年后我一定带你出来。

我害怕，害怕五年后我可能丧失那个出来的胆量。我害怕当阳光照射在我身上时，我可能会中暑。我担心我得到自由后，我会胆怯而失去平衡。

我向你担保我一定会让你出来的。你是我的未来，我的梦想，我不会让你难受的。

唉，我想我也只能等吧，对么？

我对它的失落，无言以对。

the finishing line

Ah well, I'm kinda paralysed now without my laptop.
I've sent it to Acer for repair.
Hard disk totally destroyed, what's the worse?
I didn't back up my data.
So, yeah. I lost everything.
Sho' sadd.

Today's speaker talked about making our life count for Jesus.
And the finality, finishing and the finale of life.
Of course, he spoke about funeral too.
So, I was thinking when I die one day, what will my funeral be like?
No, I want to have two funerals.
One before I die, the other after I'm dead.
I'll invite my friends and family to my "living" funeral.
And everyone of them has to prepare a testimonial for me.
As I'm lying on my queen-size bed, all of them will crowd around me and put white trumpet lilies on me, then they'll read their testimonials for me.
After that, we'll do praise and worship(singspiration), and my heart will dance along with the music beats.
Then, we'll have FOOD!!! Loads of food!!!
There'll be Prawn Aglio Olio, Baked cheesy macaroni, my brother's famous Bread and Butter pudding, Banana Chocolate Cake, all Peranakan food, and my favorite Braised pork intestines.
Hmmm......yummy!!!
When I passed away, my funeral will be celebrated with loud funky music, christian upbeat songs, and everyone must dance and clap and sing with joy.
Hmmm......it would be best if everyone can wear bright colours!
Like red, yellow, orange, lime green, turqoise, etc etc.
And I shall have my photo in a huge poster size, where everybody can see the sunlight in my smile.
Oh, it'll be really nice if there's good food and alcohol. Teehee! =)

我是一个不甘心一生平淡生活的女人。
我的生活需要颜色，需要更加的多姿多彩。
所以，自然的也比较戏剧化。
我深爱这样的我。

881 Music Videos

881 crew

My mom, me, my brother with May&Choy.
I thought they were haughty and proud.
Apparently I was wrong. They were really friendly and humble.
They said to my mom, " Come Aunty, join us lah."
Plus, they are PRETTY!!! =)

Me with Royston Tan at tampines. He's so friendly and he looks kinda coy when I praise his movie 881. Humble, talented and charming. What more can you ask for? Love him loh.

Teehee~ Whee~ =)

A pity though I didn't take pictures with Mindee Ong and Yeo Yann Yann.

But still, whee!~

movies

Life in NIE is cool.
New environment, new lecturers, new understanding of life.
But the old problem still lingers.
My puking thingy.
It's really bad, I threw up everything I eat.
I feel nauseous everytime the image of food pops into my head.
Why ah?

Yesterday night I went out with my family for movie.
Watched 881 by Roystan Tan, at Marina Square.
It's totally local, and glittering.
I never knew ge-tai could be so......humane, so touching.
It's about dreams, love and sisterhood.
I give 5 out of 5 popcorns for the plot and
5 out of 5 popcorns for the acting and directing.
We had our share of laughter and tears, you see all the girls with puffy eyes, red noses and tissue paper in one hand when we all exit the cinema, even the guys sobbed.
Cried my eyes out for 881.
Liu Ling Ling is GOOD manz! Whoot~ She really plays the 大姐大 character well, richly local-flavoured.
Mindee Ong and Yeo Yann Yann are good for ge-tai can.
You see them REALLY smiling while singing, you see the laughter in their eyes.
And the sisterhood they show, whootz!~ that's the thing that make girls cry.
Aiyah, say so much also no use.
You MUST go watch!!!
Sure make you laugh and cry with puffy eyes!
Ha! ( tell you something: I'm gonna watch AGAIN!!! =P )

But The Secret by Jay Chou sucks manz.
I expected better results from him.
He's a big disappointment.
2 out of 5 popcorns for him.
Don't ask me, I'm super pissed off with his show which is a waste of my time.
I mean, I don't deny that he is gifted in music and the concept is good but seriously,
I think there's much room for improvement.
Really lor.

"Lazy" Saturday

Ah well, another lazy Saturday.
But I'm not lazy at all.
I cleaned the whole house inside out and did the laundry, felt great after perspiring all over.
Beads of perspiration glided down my face and the cuffs of my sleeves stuck onto my underarms, I felt......worked-out. If there's ever such a word.
Hahaha.
This morning I opened my eyelids only to see the worried face of my mother hovering over me.
The first question she popped was," Are you drunk?"
I rolled my delicate eyeballs and told her it was Artie who was totally knocked out, not me.
Well, could see that she was pretty upset about what happened but I explained to her it's part of clubbing, I'll see that my brother practise some self-control next time.
Anyway, Artie's still having a hangover from yesterday.
Hope he'll be okay in the evening, now he's taking his nap.
Heh.
Cannot tahan him leh. He better learn his lesson manz.
Now, I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and listen to my mp3.
Maybe I'll hit the bed too.
YawnZz......

PLAY with me

Gawd......I can't believe I'm here 3 in the morning, trying to blog.
Actually, I came home from PLAY around 1.30am.
I was half drunk, not totally knocked out.
After removing my makeup and changing into my BIG tee, I was about to sleep,
let's say.......around 2 in the morning.
Then, I received a call from 'Nic, only to find out he's half sober and my brother's totally knocked out.
Gosh, I asked him to put Artie in a cab and send him back.
I almost fell asleep waiting for them.
2.45am. The cab reached my house. I looked out of the window and saw 'Nic unable to balance himself and my brother on the floor, right beside the cab.
I rushed down and picked my brother up.
Gawd......you have no idea how bad the situation is.
It's so hard to bring my brother back home.
But I managed.
However, brother I'm sorry.
I think you knocked your head when I was trying to drag you back home.
So, do check for bruises here and there.
Finally, I brought him home and clean him up and put him in bed.
So now I'm here, made myself a cup of tea and writing.
To 'Nic: dude, thanks a gazillionz for sending my brother home. You better have a good rest yeah. See you on Sunday for F.O.P!
Yeah, PLAY was fun. I'm lovin' it! =)

Thank you people

First and foremost, a BIG thank you to all, for the birthday gifts and birthday wishes.
You people are sho' sweeeeet!!!!

I had a great time yesterday night with gurlie at Siglap.
It was fun chatting and laughing with my sis, it's like having the ol' times back in me.
Hahaha.
Heys sis, do send me the pictures we took alright?
Love ya dearest! =)
Thank you people, thank you!


I gotta shed more fats.
Great.
-raise my glass-
To shedding of fats.

I hate my fats!

Oh my goodness!
I'm so fucking depressed that I'm so fat!
I just wish I could be much slimmer.

Oh my fats, I know I used to like to give all of you names.
But now I'm sick of even looking at all of you.
You guys seem to have brought a lot of extended family into my body huh.
What are you guys thinking?
I'm running a charity home for fats?!
I don't, okay? So, stop bringing them in alright!

Arrgh!!!
So pissed off with my stupid fats!
I wished they had been less thick-headed.
Don't they understand? I want them to leave!!!
Grrr!!! -pinches my fats-

"My Wife Is A Gangster 3"

This afternoon I went for movie on my own.

Caught My Wife Is A Gangster 3 at orchard cineleisure.

With a cup of ice lemon tea and a regular pack of sweet popcorn, I hurried into the cinema, only to find myself caught in a sea of stares, all because I arrived 5 minutes late for the movie.

O well, how humilliating can that get.

However, I really enjoyed the movie.

Shu Qi acted as the daughter of a Hong Kong traid leader, oh my, you should have seen her! She was COOL!!! I mean, she's got a great figure and woah, she knew martial arts. You know what I mean, Shu Qi played the character Ar-Young, and that character really got some character, you know.

Ar-Young went to Korea to lay low from the Hong Kong gangs' dispute and there she met Ki-Choi, acted by Lee Byum-Su. Ki-Choi as her bodyguard tried to protect Ar-Young, but realised she's able to do more than defending herself.

And well, you know, the romance comes in along with some comedy and of course, some tears when Ar-Young's dad passed away.

The whole cinema burst into peals of laughter every now and then, and you can hear a sob or two when the sad part was screened.

I cried too, and I felt so good after crying.

I mean, I guess I need a good cry sometimes. If not, I will feel like a stone or something.

It's like, I need to cry to feel human-ish, but I need a cause to cry, and watching movie alone gives me that cause and ambience.

Well, watching movie gives me the cause but watching it alone without friends, gives me the ambience.

'Cause I do not usually cry in front of my loved ones. Or people who knows me.

So, I guess I felt good going for movie today!

=)

Oh, and yes, go catch My Wife Is A Gangster 3, you'll love it!

compassion

This morning I went to church.
It was great!
I mean, I love the message spoken by Suhon.
Furthermore, he put it in a manner that's really close to the heart.
I had quite some updates from my oikos members, many updates are news to me.
But I'm glad they actually make the effort to update me.
Also, I had lunch with them at Budget Terminal's Hans.

Yesterday, after filming, I went out with Nic and my brother.
We went to Plaza Singapura for a walk.
When we reached the third storey, we looked down and saw a teenage girl wriggling on the travelator. Immediately, we recognised that was an epileptic fit attack.
We rushed down immediately to help the girl, I was most worried that someone will shove something into her mouth to stop her from biting her tongue.
Well, basically, if a person is having a fit attack and you shove something into her/his mouth, that person will choke.
When I got down, the first thing I did was to ask the people not to crowd around the patient so as to let her breathe. I turned her on her side and put her head down properly on her bag.
An Indian passerby ask me, " Are you her friend?"
I replied, " No, but I'm an epileptic child."
The patient was frothing and jerking, I took a tissue and wiped away the froth.
For a moment, I was gripped with fear.
But then, I told myself: if I'm afraid, how will I be able to help her?
Then, I contacted her parents and told them about the situation and the location.
After I hanged up the mobile, I turned to a security guard and ask for a chair to let the patient rest.
I saw the girl embarrassed by the whole situation, so I told her, " I'm an epileptic child too. And I understand it's very tiring after a fit attack, don't worry, just rest well."
I told the managers firmly that they have to let the girl wait for her parents to pick her up.
I was so happy that I helped someone having the same problem as me.

Happy happy happy! YAY!!! =)

游记

我回来后的几天，父母亲都问我：经历了这次的浸入活动，我到底学了什么？
我想，我真的成熟了。
面对生活起居的问题；人际关系的问题，我想我真地领略了很多。

这四个半月内，我不止从自己面对的人事物上学到不少，从朋友的经验上也体会许多。
我学会了生病时得靠自己；喉咙痛得自己找咳嗽药水、伤风流鼻涕得吃药多休息、头疼得吞止痛药，也学会了到超市办货。再重的东西都要自己扛，因为没有人有义务替你办这些琐碎的事。
第一堂课：对于自己的生活得自己负起责任。
这四个半月内，没有父母在旁一直唠叨着，没有人常提醒：要记得准时吃饭。晚上，若把被子或枕头踢下床，也没人替你拾上来，没人替你盖被。

和朋友一起住固然好玩，但得面对的问题也一样的多。每个人都有不同的性格与脾气，有时候两个人的脾气对不着时，就会觉得很难受，整间房就像被撒满火药似的。原本以为是很坚固的友谊后来变质了，改变了对人与人之间关系的概念。
第二堂课：合得来就多聚一聚，合不来就少谈几句咯。有些事无需把它看得太重，太在意只会让自己痛苦。

这次也看到了同学们之间你争我夺的场面，也看到老师们“击鼓传铃”的举动。
看了也觉得心寒啊！
第三堂课：就如我母亲说的；每个人头上都有片天，何必争的你死我活呢？而有难时，却是你推给我，我推给你，诸如此类的画面。

当然，虽然不愉快的事情不少，但快乐的时光不是没有的。和好友一起聊天逛街旅游，都是这次旅程的收获。每次出游，都学了非常多。独立生活让我的经验累积满满的，以不同的角度看待事物，也更珍惜自己拥有的一切。我想更充实地过自己的生活，不要让生命就这样流失。

there's no place i'd rather be

Yesterday night, I finally touched down at Singapore Changi Airport at 7.40p.m.
My family and friends came to fetch me.
I was very very emotional.
When I looked out of the window of the plane, I saw the island of Singapore.
I don't know why, but I felt a rush of mixed emotions running through me.
It's like, FINALLY I'm back home.
And it's amazing how I survived the four and a half months in a faraway place without my close friends and family.
To my friends: thank you all for the white lilies, very sweet of you guys.
And to my family members: thank you for everything, I love you guys.
THANK YOU SO MUCH everyone!!!
*muackz*
Seriously, right now, there's no place I'd rather be but over here in Singapore.
=)

i know i know

Yes yes people, I know okay.
I know I grew fatter.
Thanks ah, for the reminder.
*roll my delicate eyeballs*
Haizz.
But I seriously will shed fats when I go home alright.
I will do household chores and do more exercises, I promise okay?
Teehee......
(>.<)

me in peking

my clique!
I will post more when I'm free!

so exhausted from Peking

YawnZz...
I just reached hostel, back from Beijing trip.
I'm exhausted and giddy.
Think I'm suffering of heatstroke soon.
Blahh!
Going for my sleep soon, nights my loves.

NDP Theme Song 2007

As I watch these two videos, I was so touched.
I nearly teared.
Those famillar places in Singapore!
Oh manz, I really miss Singapore so much!
Really, as what the song says: There's no place I'd rather be but home.
So 感动 when I see my beloved Singapore in the videos.

friendship, lovely

Yay!!!
I finally finished my examinations!
Lalala~ teehee......
Tomorrow I'll be going to Shanghai with my friends, just a one day trip lah.
To do some last minute shopping.
Then, on the 7 july 2007, I'll be leaving for Beijing with the school.
Some educational trip, will last for four days three nights.
On the 10th, I'll be back in the university.
On the 13th, we're going to hold a graduation ceremony. YES! I'm graduating from ZUCC!
On the 15th, I'll be back in Singapore's Changi Airport, it'll be home sweet home.

I guess, on the night before we leave, my roomies and I will stay up late to chat while in bed.
Hmmm......I've been thinking a lot. Thinking about my whole trip in China.
Friendships forged; the process of learning how to take care of myself as well as others; how to survive in adversities; how to live with my friends, with people whom I'm not very close with in the first place; how to get along with friends who are different from me.
I guess these are very wonderful experiences, though sometimes we rebel here and there; though my hair gone through a lot of experiments(cut, dye, straighten, treament, perm etcetra); though we've gone through mood swings and screaming at each other; though we've gone through really down and scary moments; but in the end, we actually survived all these.

Yes, we cried and bawled our eyes out in front of each other, but we also laughed and screamed our heads off in front of each other. We helped each other even though we actually have to go the extra mile, 'cos I guess we know that we need to lean on each other 'cos in this strange land, we've only got each other. So, overall, though I really hate it academically, but I really thank God for the things that I've learnt.

Thank You Great Daddy! =)
And also, thank you my friends. Really, thank you all.

Last but not least, I want to thank my family and gang in Singapore, thank you for the emails.
You guys really have no idea how much those emails mean to me. They really kept me going on.
And to someone whom may not like to be named, no matter which part of the world you are at, you always give me an email whenever you're free. Thank you so much for trusting me and confiding in me. Miss you loads, hope to see you soon. >.<

Losing Touch

I think I'm losing my Midas Touch.
I mean, I'm losing the writing touch.
I just sit in front of the computer or a blank piece of paper and nothing comes out from me.
It's just purely demoralising.
I flipped through my old works.
English poetry; chinese poems; some songs, those are my pride.
But now, I seemed to suffer from writer's block.
I'm trying really hard to write something, but my mind is in a virginal blank.
What's up with me man?
I've really got no idea.
Really.
='(

"Shining Friends"

A little faith, brightens a rainy day
Life is difficult, you can't go away
Don't hide yourself in the corner
You have my place to stay
Sorrow is gonna say goodbye
Opens up
You'll see the happy sunshine
Keep going on with your dream
Chasing tomorrow's sunrise
The spirit can never die
Sun will shine, my friend
Won't let you cry, my dear
Seeing you shed a tear
Make my world disappear
You'll never be alone in darkness
See my smile, my friend
We are with you, holding hands
you have got to believe, you are my destiny
We're meant to be your friends
That's what a friend should be

《恋爱你我》

大家又有眼福了！我刚写好一首诗，就发布了。请多给点意见，多谢诸位。

《恋爱你我》
星期天的太阳是你
灿烂俊脸
光芒笑颜
让我不自觉爱上你

咖啡店的红砖有你
微微笑意
冰红茶里
漂浮着你的小倒影

相隔海水洗去情苗
怀念一切
离别之念
希望再见你的微笑

现在正是下午四点
六个月前
这里想见
今时的阳艳
忆起当时
我们的晴天

－陈韵蕾

中国话

examinations ~ 2

Yesterday I sat for my classic literature paper.
All of you must be wondering how is it right?
Don't have to ask, 'cos I didn't complete the paper.
I had a relapse of epileptic fit when I was halfway through the paper.
All I could remember is I suddenly went unconscious, then when I woke up, I was lying in my lecturer's office.
But when I regain consciousness, my friend told me that during my relapse I was struggling to return to my seat, to complete my exmaination. Hah! I couldn't believe it too, why would I be so silly to struggle to my seat and finish my paper?! Hmmm......but I do remember mumbling something about my examination when I was unconscious.
But anyway, that was what happened lah.
My friend told me that my lecturer was totally shocked and stunned, so much so that he was screaming and roaring when I blackout.
I really want to thank my lecturers(Professor Zhang, Miss Geng Zhi Hong and Miss Wu Jing), hmmm......'cos I think I really gave them a scare yesterday.
Also, I want to thank Xin Yi, Qiuling, KaiBoon, and of course, my clique of friends: pingz, qinx, binx, lingx, meizhen, junn, qing jie.
Last but not least, my 专属天使, thank you for the sweet letter and orange juice, really felt much better.
Thank you everyone for your concern, I'm really fine now.
=)

Examinations ~ 1

Yes! Finished philosophy paper today.
Hmmm......it was easier than I thought.
So, I'm happy! =)
Rested for half a day, tomorrow will be a day to chiong my classic literature.
Classic Literature exam will be held on 28 June 2007.
I fear for this subject.
'Cos it's definitely ancient for me, all in ancient chinese language.
BUT, of course I'll try my best, like duh!

We've all decided, we'll do our best for our exams.
But then, immediately after exams, we're gonna shop till we drop and go for karaoke sessions!
Hahaha!
~Whee!~
Just the thought of that spurs me on to chiong for my exams.
Yay yay!

*shoutouts*

Marianne gurlie, love you loadz.
Just keep yourself happy and healthy, just tag me, email me or gimme a call anytime.
-muackz muackz hugz hugz-

Nic dearie, thank you in advance for the lilies.
White, yellow, green. A little of each.
You know me too well, lil' nicky.
-huggies-
=)

Lou dearest, hope to see you soon.
Take good care alright, heard that you've become really skinny.
-ginormous hugz-

Zac kor, thank you so muchie for the email.
Really lifted up my mood and made my day.
-bearie hugz-

Artie brother, miss you miss you miss you!
What else can I say but miss you so muchie!
Can't wait to see you soon!
-a gazillionz hugz-

Alright, finished with shoutouts.
Hmmm......
~Muackz to everyone!~
=P

好闷哦

我真的是闷得快死掉了啦，差不多每时每刻都在面对课本和笔记，闷死我了啦！
所以，就想到搬出我的旧诗，来发表一下，请享用文字与情绪所酿出的醇酒吧！=)

《迹》
爱情，
是我们相遇的奇迹。
思念，
是两人分离的唇印。
怨恨，
是我思念你的酿酒。
绝望，
是无声无息的悲哀。
梦中挂丝曙光，
梦醒一片黑暗。

《追》
树梢的枫叶
我想摘
地上的白雪
我欲取
给飘洋过海的你

秋夜望着月
冬季下满雪
春天观百花
夏日享凉风
一年四季心思你

《我的原野》
海洋埋藏了回忆
天空挂满了心情
呐喊我的小秘密
这就是我的原野

柔软金翠的光芒
奔在宽阔的草原
孤单是我的狂妄
这就是我的原野

风牵着发丝鼓舞
眼里残滚着沙粒
唆使我滴出泪珠
这就是我的原野

两人之间一个情
热火红尘飞满天
你嘴角边的笑意
这才是我的原野

~请大家多给我意见哦！谢谢！

victory, fighting!!!

-Nodz- Hmmm.
Like what I told my bestest sister Marianne gurlie,
we're gonna GAMBATTE!!!
Try my best and give my all during my examinations.
And not forgetting, of course, to keep myself in a happy and healthy mode.
In this way, I won't be letting those who love me down.

*shoutouts*
PEOPLE! I'm alright!!! So, do not worry about me!
-smilez-
I love you guys and of course, I love myself!
I won't be beaten down that easily, 我是不死之身嘛！哈哈！

Yes, I admit, lately I'm bogged down by examinations stress.
BUT, I'm gonna fight it with my sunny-optimistic mindset!
*cheers* to [war against stress]!!! Hahaha!!!
Hip Hip Hoorray!!!
=P

so depressed

Examinations are coming soon.
Like, next monday?
I'm feeling extremely stressed up because we do not have ANY study break,
none at all.
Adding on to the tragedy, we have 5 exam papers.
During the days of NP, we have 1 exam paper with 2 weeks of study break.
Just look at the vast difference......sho' sadd right?

Seriously, the lessons here are so boring that I'm forever in coma whenever the lecturers are ranting their logics and all.
Guess I won't do very well this semester but I seriously am hoping I can just pass all my papers.
Never in my life have I been so down about my studies before, you know.
Sigh.

specially for my brother

heys Artie!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

My "twin", thank you so muchie for being in my life,

you're always the cool-headed one.

Ever so rational whenever I'm impulsive or irritated.

You're like my "互补双胞胎" .

Hahahaha!!!

May your dreams come true and may you find true love one day!

*Cheers dude!*

Love ya loadz! *muackz*

=)

exhausted

Sorry all, I haven't been blogging frequently because I've been having dance practices these few days.

First of all, I must wish my bestest sister Marianne Freeman: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Sorry gurl, I didn't blog my birthday wish for you yesterday 'cause I was really exhausted after my dance practice.

To my bestest sister:

thank you so much that you've been by my side these 7 years.

even though we're not from the same class or cca,

even though we're not in the same tertiery school,

but whenever we meet up with problems or exciting happenings,

the first one we think of is each other.

I'm so glad you've found the man who loves you and I'm truly happy that you are happy.

I hope that you'll continue being happy and loved.

Remember that whenever you need me, I'm here 24/7.

Love you my dear, cheers to our long-lasting friendship.

-Ginormous Hugz-

Happy 19th Birthday!!! =)

I had rehearsals the whole day from this morning.

Just finish my indian dance performance.

Quite successful, but I got a leg cramp when I was dancing.

Hahaha.

But still gotta continue dancing, so I danced with loads more strength.

O well, I enjoyed the dance lahh.

Can't wait to go home.

Just 1 more month.

Alright, I have to go clean myself up and sleep.

Damn exhausted now, haven't been sleeping well.

zzzzZZZZ......

rant

I don't know what to write.
I'm just bored.
I've got some assignments to finish, some revisions to do, some dance to practise, some performance to attend, some show to watch.
Many many things to do.
Yet I'm still feeling lonely and bored.
Hah, what the hell am I ranting about?
*blackout*

impulsiveness

I did a major thing to my hair today.
I cut it, yet AGAIN.
And, I permed it.
Hahaha.
I look like a rebel now.
Don't know why I did it, maybe it's just another of my impulsive streak working again.
But no regrets.
Never regret anything because as I always say,
you never try, you never know.

I need inspiration.

想念。

我发现自己开始异常的想家。
非常地想家，真希望能马上立刻奔回家，然后倒在舒服的沙发上。
不知道为什么，倒数回家的日子越短，我就越讨厌这个地方，讨厌这里的人、事、物。
更讨厌为了这个旅程而和我同行的朋友们。因为，他们也渐渐地成了我生命中的过客。
似乎，感情本来很浓厚的我们，渐渐地变质了，变得太过恭敬了，而且不高兴就耍性子使脸色。
我不知道是什么原因，但我觉得很悲，我只想安安静静、顺顺利利地渡过这次的旅程。
更想早点儿回家，回到我熟悉的地方，回到有我家人、有好朋友的日子。
我想念在新加坡老家等我的好姐妹Marianne和Jocelyn,还有我的大哥、二哥、四弟和小弟。
我想念和大哥shopping看电影、想念和二哥讲话聊心事、想念和四弟煮东西一起吃、想念和小弟喝酒谈天。
想念和Marianne和Jocelyn喝咖啡、吃蛋糕，边吃边谈的日子。
想念朋友的朋友，一起打打闹闹的时光。
想念和家人一起搭营帐、滑轮、游泳晒太阳。
想家，非常地想家。
想得我要落泪，落泪落得像瀑布一样，不停的流着流着。。。。。。

断桥。绍兴。今天晚上的发现。

昨天，本来已经计划好要到林隐寺、雷锋塔和断桥参观的，谁知道天不做媒，下了一整天的雨。
结果，只到了断桥去。
断桥是有典故的。。。。。。
其实，断桥原叫“段家桥”。以前，杭州每年总有几场雪，长长的一条苏堤，就成了西湖上的一条玉带。太阳出来后，拱桥的向阳面很快就融化了，而背面仍然有积雪。这时，从旁边的宝石山上看桥，却似断了一般。断桥由此而来。所以，才说是“断桥不断”。
另一个必须要知道的就是；断桥也就是凄美爱情故事里的男女主角：许仙与白娘子相会的地方。
春天或秋天去的话，应该会好一点，别落到像我这样到那儿去喂蚊子。

今天我一大早就起床和朋友们长辈们到绍兴去了。
我喜欢今天的旅程安排，不会很匆忙。
我们到三个不同的景点参观：鲁迅故居、沈园、兰亭。

在鲁迅故居，我认识了周作人和他的生活故事。
也喝了绍兴著名的黄酒，吃了超级yummylicious的臭豆腐！！！
臭豆腐简直就是人间天堂！！！
后来，乘着摇摆不稳的乌篷船到沈园。
乌篷船虽然不怎么稳，但是非常的刺激与罗曼蒂克。
因为它很像威尼斯的长平底船(gondola)。

我最喜欢的就是沈园了，因为那是诗人陆游和他的前妻（也是绍兴才女）唐婉相会的地方。
故事是这样的。。。。。。
陆游和唐婉是表兄妹也是夫妻。他们非常的恩爱与甜蜜。
但陆母不喜欢唐婉，觉得是她阻碍了陆游考科举。
所以，逼陆游休了唐婉。
经过了许多磨差后，陆游比不得已只好休了唐婉。
多年后，当他们俩都各有家庭，在沈园相遇时，陆游在园林的墙上写了以首词：《钗头凤》。
唐婉在陆游走后，也在墙上回了他的词，也名为：《钗头凤》。
当陆游在84岁那年回沈园时，才看到那首词。
也发现唐婉当年在沈园遇见他之后，不久后便忧郁逝世了。

《钗头凤》—陆游
红酥手，黄藤酒，满城春色宫墙柳。东风恶，欢情薄，一杯愁绪，几年离索。错！错！错！
春如旧，人空瘦，泪痕红悒鲛绡透。桃花落，闲池阁，山盟虽在，锦书难托。莫，莫，莫！
《钗头凤》—唐婉
世情薄，人情恶，雨送黄昏花易落。晓风干，泪痕残，欲笺心事，独语斜阑。难！难！难！
人成各，今非昨，病魂常似秋千索。角声寒，夜阑珊，怕人寻问，咽泪装欢。瞒，瞒，瞒！

最后一站是兰亭，有一点儿闷。
可能是因为脚走得酸痛了，也疲累了。
但看到，“父子碑”。
王羲之在碑上写了“鹅”字，就受到朝廷圣旨，便离去了。
“鹅”字下面的“池”字便由儿子王献之提笔。
“鹅池”之碑，也称“父子碑”，显示了父子对书法的热忱。

最后，是今天晚上的晚餐。我和妈妈到AJISEN享用拉面。
遇到好多没教养的中国人。
一点都不懂得尊重那些从事服务行业的人，一直把他们当狗使唤。
还大力的拍桌子、大声嚷嚷、指着经理的鼻子不停的臭骂。
我是气到爆好不好，那些人到底凶什么凶啊？！
服务员就不是人吗？难道对人拿出最基本的尊重都那么难么？
我的火气从脚底直奔大脑好不好！
气爆了啦！
中国人这样的态度怎么迎接2008奥运啊？！
文明社会？想骗谁啊？
想成功迎接2008奥运？送你一个字：难！
因为外国人将会把你们批死！

我累了，睡了。

home

I miss home.
I miss my family members and my gang of friends.
45 more days to maison douce à la maison.
I'm lookin' forward to the day I reach Changi airport.
Gatherings with my friends, over coffee and alcohol and food!!!
Hahahaha!
My family and gang, I LOVE YOU!
*muackz*
=)

dreams and destiny

I believe everyone has their own destiny and dreams.
I also believe that if one wants something, the whole universe will conspire to help you acheive it.
I have a dream.
A dream that I'll never give up, even till the end.
Many times, I have the thought of giving up, but no, my heart will keep reminding me of the dream that I always habour in me.
Sometimes, fear of failure stops me from pursuing my destiny.
So, I shall stop fearing because the only thing that stops a dream from being achieved, is the fear of failure.
Therefore, my friends out there, if you know your dream and destiny, follow it and never give up. Even if you die pursuing your destiny, it'll be a glorious death. A death without regrets.
My dreams and destiny, I'll lived it out.
Maktub.

my colour aura

Interior decorators will tell you to paint your walls yellow to make your room more cheerful. That said, it's as if those with yellow auras live their entire lives in a yellow room. Their happy-go-lucky, optimistic personalities and nearly boundless energy make them the life of the party. But these childlike qualities can mask their deeper emotions, including an inability to (and almost a fear of) staying put and committing to one thing, as well as a need to be liked.
If you are a creative spirit who loves her freedom so much that it's hard to stay in one place for long, you may have a yellow aura.

a love worth giving

Love...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV)

Wouldn't it be nice if love were like a cafeteria line?
What if you could look at the person with whom you live and select what you want and pass on what you don't?

What if parents could do this with kids?
"I'll take a plate of good grades and cute smiles, and I'm passing on the teenage identity crisis and tuition bills."

What if kids could do the same with parents?
"Please give me a helping of allowances and free lodging but no rules or curfews, thank you."

And spouse with spouse?
"H'm, how about a bowl of good health and good moods. But job transfers, in-laws, and laundry are not on my diet,"

Wouldn't it be great if love were like a cafeteria line?
It would be easier. It would be neater.
It would be painless and peaceful.
But you know what?
It wouldn’t be love.
Love doesn't accept just a few things.
Love is willing to accept ALL things.

-By Max Lucado-

Family and Friends

I read my friends' blogs.

Many of them are unhappy.

Many of them want to go home.

My friends, I'm here, alright.

The ever-smiling and crazy Amanda is here to lift up your mood.

Even if it's silly, even if it's just for a short while, I still want to see you guys happy.

I want to give thanks to God.

My parents learnt how to use msn and webcam because their baby princess is all the way here in China.

My mom learnt how to tag on my blog, use icons to express her encouragement for me.

Thank you pa and ma, I love you guys.

I thank God for both of you.

Father

And

Mother

I

Love

You

Well, not forgetting my brother. My closest and greatest brother on earth, love you and miss you so much. You know everything about me, just like my twin.

I thank God for you.

My gang of friends in Singapore, if it's not for your emails and encouragement all these while, I might not be able to go through these few months in a strange place. You guys are my support always.

I thank God for all of you.

My roomies.

Though sometimes we scream at each other, laugh at each other, nag at each other, but when I'm ill, you guys cared for me.

Though you guys nag at me to eat proper meals, drink more water, sleep more, stop me from eating too much ice-cream, but I know these are ways you guys care.

And I thank God for all of you.

Family and Friends. Love you guys.

gimme rest

These few days I couldn't sleep well.
Many times I would end up sleeping in the morning and waking in just a few hours.
Don't ask me why, because I really have no idea.
Physically I am sleepy but my mind just can't stop tossing around.
I'm down with some stupid flu again, no appetite at all, just want to sleep all day.

Hmmm...talking about sleep.
This morning's lessons are the best sleeping pills ever.
My lecturers are basically just ranting and ranting like a drill,
they either look at the ceiling or look out of the windows when they are teaching.
How amazing.
If it's not because of the lethargy in me, I would have laughed through the whole day.
Totally funny sight, you guys should be here to experience the way the lecturers teach.

I think everybody here misses home and friends, misses Singapore.
Nobody is truly happy here, though yes, we try to be optimistic but home is always the best.
Sometimes, I play around, trying to be silly and all, it's because I just want to lift the moods of my roomies and friends here.
No use being sour and bitter because we'll only suffer, so why not smile and be strong?

You know, I realised I do learn somethings from drama serials.
The character of being strong and optimistic.
"只要笑一笑，没什么事过不了。"
－微笑pasta

回忆真美丽

《回忆》

回忆着
我生病发烧的时候
你总在我身边伺候
我辛苦你心疼
抱起我 看医生

CHORUS:
话都到嘴边
怎么还拖延
难道真没有爱恋
那为何与我展颜
只希望你守护我
听你说一声爱我

回忆着
和你乘坐巴士的时候
我的手心冷得直发抖
你抓着我的手
叫我声 傻丫头

BRIDGE:
我知道这都是关心
现在却都成了回忆

CHORUS

La...La...La...La...
我知道这都是关心
现在却都成了回忆
对你 我有没有意义

I wrote this lyrics, my first attempt, so might not be very good.
But I'm kinda excited that I wrote my first set of lyrics.
Well, the problem here now is I have no music background, so I can't find a suitable melody for it. So, if anyone of you can help me, I'll be so glad.
Don't ask me why I wrote this, it's just inspiration.
Lala...Lalalala~ Lala...Lalalala~

The Sun

The weather here is getting hotter and hotter, well, so is my dress sense.
Wahahaha!!! (>.<) v

Sunny weather lifts my mood up, I simply love the feeling of being sun-kissed!
I love the brillance of the Sun piercing deep through my skin and into my bones, the sweltering heat burns my skin and set my soul on fire.
The most beautiful part is the crimson of sunset, the flaming rays seems to be burning with passion for life, though it doesn't last for long but you'll see it everyday.

I just simply love the Sun.

Let me ride the chariot with Helios.

Support

To my greatest brother,
you know you have my greatest support in everything yeah. I admire your courage and don't worry, I'll stand by you no matter what. Who ask us to be such close siblings and we share the same blood flowing in us, so of course, we'll raise our shields and block all arrows yeah! Believe in your love and your way of love, it'll bring you through all things.

All of us need support from both our family and friends, so my friends out there who need support, you know you can mail me, tag me, sms me or call me. If I don't have some good advice, at least I have a pair of ears to listen and a BIG care-hug for your comfort. And not to forget, a heart that feels for you. Cheers to great friendships!

Love y'all. *muackz*

two people

It's always great to see, or just to know, that there's another couple around somewhere.

How I always tell my gang of friends to just love and be loved, a bittersweet feeling, it gives you the courage to go through anything with the person you loved.

Personally, I'm very glad for my gang of friends who found their partners, some are happily in honeymoon stage while some are going through some ruts in their journey together.

No matter what, treasure each other and be understanding towards each other.

Another few of my friends are still searching for their love.

To them, I say; my friend, don't be too gan-cheong, let nature takes it course. Enjoy whatever freedom you can while you're single. ;)

While some couples are made, there're also couples separating.
I have friends who are facing break ups. Sigh.
Some don't eat or even socialise anymore.
Some cut themselves to lessen the pain in their hearts or just to prove their existence.
Sigh.
Love could be sweet but it could hurt too.

I found my love long ago, just that I didn't treasure Him as much as I do now, yet His love for me never end and it'll never ever end.

《我的原野》

海洋埋藏了回忆
天空挂满了心情
呐喊我的小秘密
这就是我的原野

柔软金翠的光芒
奔在宽阔的草原
孤单是我的狂妄
这就是我的原野

风牵着发丝鼓舞
眼里残滚着沙粒
唆使我滴出泪珠
这就是我的原野

两人之间一个情
热火红尘飞满天
你嘴角边的笑意
这才是我的原野

－陈韵蕾

横店之旅

I will post more if I'm free, for now, bear with these, okie?
Take good care, my family and buddies!
Love y'all!
*hugz*
(>.<) v

Just not my week

Above was the situation in my hostel the day before yesterday.
We went crazy revising for our history test which was on the next day.
Everyone was muggin' for the whole night.
Yesterday was D-day, and the test was so damn tough.
Gahh!!!
History is gettin' on my nerves manz!
Today I'm down with flu, cough and slight fever.
So, I skipped Modern China tutorial and had a rest in the hostel, I just wake up from my sleep.
I ate Panadol(for fever and cold relief), but it doesn't seems to work.
So freakin' angry, how am I going to finish all my assignments and continue muggin' for my upcoming tests if I don't get well?!
These diseases are gettin' on my nerves manz!
Gahh!!!
Sigh, it's just not my week.
Bleah. =(

不被打败、雨的前奏

今天我到甜品屋那儿复习了中国通史。
甜品真地会让人快乐起来。
我只读到春秋时代，还剩战国时代、秦朝与东汉西汉还没复习呐。
参了！星期二的考试可能就这样泡汤了，我很快就会败在楼教授手里了。
唉！
不过，我不会灰心的！我会尽力读，不要对不起自己就好了。
哼！我才没那么容易被打败呐！
陈韵蕾，A ZA A ZA，加油！

早上，下了一场长命雨。
我告诉朋友我喜欢下雨的前奏－那大雨来临前的狂风和那股潮湿的气味。
那风的力量使得周围的万物都在狂欢地起舞，连我的灵魂都一起被调了起来。
灵魂在空中和那股潮湿的气味融为一体，让肚子酿出一种搅动的感觉，心脏不停扑通扑通地跳着。

那是叫心灵自由么？
我不知道，只知道和大自然共同分享了一种既刺激又暧昧的感觉。
就像两个人恋爱前，那你追我藏的过程。
两个人的眼神交替的时候，那种共鸣带点刺激又羞涩的情愫，是恋爱的前奏的特色。
我喜欢这种感觉，只是这种感觉。
所以，每当要下雨前，我都会跑到窗前，
体会那种心灵自由，体会那个前奏的感觉。

Look like a star right?! A model agency came to ask me to go modelling loh...hahaha...then a kiddo came and hug my legs lahh...so stunned by the kiddo loh...Me at West Lake Pizza Hut having lunch with my friends after our shopping spree.
*BawL!!!* Gahh!!! I'm sooo broke now...*sob sob*
hope my allowance will come in fast...
Money money...where are you???!!!

I'm becoming so optimistic nowadays.
Wakaka...
Think my friends here can't stand my nonsensical pattern already.
Hahahaha!
But they are enjoying my optimistic dance okay.
Hahahaha!
Tomorrow I'm going to attend some activities organised by the student council here.
Think it's going to be real fun!!!
Time to socialise again!
Wahahaha!

Next week gonna have loads of tests and assignments to hand in...
*Bawl* Gahh..!
A ZA! A ZA! JiaYou, aMaNdA!!
(>.<) v

一个人独自站在黑暗的房间里，看着紫红色的天空，窗外的狂风犹如一支强壮的手臂挑盘起我乌黑柔软的头发。我闭上眼睛，吸进一大口气，暴风雨即将来临的湿气润滑了我的气道，顿时感到一阵清新。
我拉了一张椅子，面对着窗口，小心翼翼的坐了下来，以免吵醒和我同房的寝室友。望着那残血色的天网，它仿佛有无数的情感却无处发泄。我开始怜悯它，因为我坐在这个小地方却感到一身自由清静，它虽高挂在上面却负担重重。
我伸出了我的小手，欲触它那张块爆炸的脸蛋，不禁回忆起我以前也像它一样，困惑繁多、想不通的时候，又没法发泄就形成了坏脾气。庆幸的是，我有家人与好友关心和支持，我现在才那么的乐观开朗，自由飞翔。
所以，如果你也像那坏脾气的天空一样快要爆炸的话，我希望我能这样的安慰你－我的朋友，一定要活的快乐，过得幸福！

我的家人和好多普！

妈，生日快乐！
虽然今年不能和你一起庆祝，但心里总是挂念你和家人与好友。
刚刚在电话的另一端听到我的那群好朋友都代我和你一起庆祝生日，我真是感动。
爸爸、妈妈, 我爱你们！
Artie, Lou, Zac, Nic and Joce, 我也爱你们！你们是我的好多普。
“多普”的意思就是buddies!
Thank you so much, you guys are my bestest friends manz.
Marianne gurlie, I love you too! Miss you loadz babe! You're my bestest sister on the whole universe! Just pop me an email or sms anytime alright. (>.<) v
So happy, I'm so happy!!!
Yayness!!!
Looking forward to my return, gathering with my friends and family!
哥哥姐姐们，等着公主我凯旋归来吧！哈哈！

I love living in hostel, with my friends.
Hmmm...watching dvds together, eating together, reciting poems together, singing while bathing, not having the need to be shy while changing in front of them. *Heehee~
Life in hostel is freedom for me, i love hostel life! ^whoot~

Other than having a relapse yesterday while shopping, I'm okie, everyone.
Don't have to worry too much okie! =P
I'm very very fine.
Most of all, I miss you guys like hell!!!!

Marianne gurlie, I hope everything's going well for you no matter in relationships or work. Miss the "pick-up-handphone-dial-gurlie's-number" action. Miss chatting on the phone with you for hours. I miss you, love.

Jocelyn MaMa, I miss your advice and concern and our bitching around. Wakakaka...Miss you so so muchie.

Louis darling, miss the heart to heart chats with you. Miss the way you could make everything seems so easy and neat when I'm messy. I know many things happened between you and zac, but must hang on okie. Still misses you lots.

Secret Lover 'Nic, I know I know...I will take care of myself, no worries okie. Your secret mistress miss the drinking sessions with you and the long phone chats in the nights. When I return, we'll go for Long Island immediately yeah..! Miss you lots too!

Hey Artie! Don't worry about me okie, just work hard and have fun with our friends, enjoy yourself as much as you can kk.

My dear Wyn, take care of yourself yeah. Miss you loads. Will email you whenever I'm free. =)

Independent living, I love it!

Guess I've been away from my blog for quite some time.
Well, that's because I'm too busy.
I've got to finish my assignments as soon as possible, read up on the books I bought, watch my favourite shows, read newspapers everyday, socialise with the people here, practise our Indian dance etc.
See, I'm very busy, right..?
Hahaha. =p

Yesterday we have a welcome party for the engineering students from Ngee Ann Poly.
They'll be here for about a week.
I was one of the compere for the party last night.
Our chinese studies students and engineering students, plus the china students all had loads of fun.
And I got to eat our local curry, air-flown all the way from Singapore.
Hahaha...I was totally excited when I swallowed the whole cup of curry chicken down my throat.
I gave a silly grin after that, so satisfied yet homesick at the same time.

Another thing is; we hold our own christian care group over here every sunday.
We have praise and worship, sharing of the Word and sharing of testimonies.
We edify and support one another, and pray for one another.
Feel so good to have a support group of sisters here.

My room gone through some weird happenings in the previous nights.
Pingz and I heard weird noises in the middle of the night.
Wake up and found no one awake.
Scary......right....?
Hahaha, nahh we're not afraid lahh.
Very curious what's going to happen tonight....

Hmmm...time to watch my show!
Will be back soon!

P.S. To my beloved boyfriend: Love you dear! *Muackz*~

I can't forget my addiction for alcohol.
I miss drinking with my usual gang.
I can still remember the familliar taste of my usual Long Island.
Of course, not forgeting the comfy sofa seats of Backstage Bar.

No one drinks over here.
My classmates, not many drink, some don't even touch alcohol.
Sigh...
Hmmm...how???