Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Love for Lovelies

I finally have the time to blog.
Last few weeks were totally busy with musical rehearsals and performance.
Christmas is coming in 2 days...
and I have not buy any christmas cards or gifts.
I think this christmas will be less gifts and cards, more of food...
By the way, tomorrow night, oikos will be having christmas countdown by the river, beside the indoor stadium.
I'll be bringing self-baked apple crumble and a simple salad.
I had a trial-run on the apple crumble yesterday.
It was great, except that I should less the lemon juice.
Hmmm......I feel great cooking for my loved ones and when they enjoy the food, I feel loved too.
Heh......tomorrow after I baked the apple crumble, I'll take a picture and post it.
You guys can see how it looks.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I ended all my examinations yesterday!
Whee!~ *spinning round and round*
Yesterday night, I finally managed to have 8 to 10 hours of sleep.
For the past few weeks, it was always 4 hours of sleep everyday.

Now I am in my hostel, waiting for Rianne to come.
She's uber sweet lah, she's bringing lunch for me!
I guess once Rianne come, we'll eat and discuss where to go while we wait for Faith to come and join us.
Leen is so farniez lah, she was the one who suggested on singing Kbox today, but in the end she went to JB with her mom. So cute lah this girl. Blur blur one.

It's been a long time since I last met Dearie, Lou and Nic.
Wonder how are the three of them, miss them so much.

This saturday I am going on a date!!!
*giggles* Think I am going ditzy......guess it's because I haven't gone on a date for a long long time.

Hahaha! Examinations are over! FREEDOM!!! Woots!~

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


I am now in Starbucks at Woodlands, with miss-rianne and leen.
Currently doing my thesis on self-esteem.
No doubt it is interesting BUT it is uber tiring to be researching on the dead theologians and their great works.
With no eye-candies here for me to ogle just made it even more unbearable for me.
This week and next week will be kinda busy for me.
Loads of people are pinning high hopes on me, so preparations for examinations are driving me crazy.
So, forgive me if I snap at anyone that irritates me.

To my babes: I will update the photos when I have the time to even catch my breath. So bear with me for awhile ya. Sorry babes. Love y'all.

Now off to my toil.
Here we go, Muggertoad!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

My Loves

I am glad that this week is ending soon.
After this week, I'll be left with one thesis and three examinations.
I will be loading off my burdens......soon.

I am tired.
Not physically. This is mental.
I think the hyped-up, tense feeling is going to stick with me till the end of semester.
And I hate it.

I am happy that friday is coming.
'Cos I am going for breakfast with Faith.
It's our heart to heart chat time again.

I am happy that saturday is coming.
'Cos I am meeting Lou and Nic.
S'been a long time since I last meet my loves.

Weekend should be here ASAP.
'Cos I can't wait.

Impulse Kills......Or Not......?

This week is packed with presentations and essays to hand in.
Sometimes I hoped that these assignments will just catch fire on their own and burn themselves away.
Yet, sometimes, I wished that there will be more piling on me, so that I would not spend my free time thinking of the unhappy stuff and what my close friends are going through.

"You think too much" that's what Dearie always says to me.
Actually, what she said was half right.
I do think a lot, but that was always after I did something impulsive.
Those who knew what I did, just know that I still cannot figure out why I did that.
It was totally on impulse.

Probably what Faith said was right.
After so many things that happened, we do need a rest.
And Faith, if both of you still love each other when he comes back from overseas, then why not give him another chance? Let this overseas trip be a time if testing and acceptance for both you and him.
Just remember that no matter what happens, you still have your friends here.
Here to support, here to love.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I am so sick and tired of everything.
To be exact, I detest school.
I mean, I like attending lessons and learning new stuff.
But I really hate assignments.
They are getting on my nerves!!!
In the evening I went for dinner with my roomie Daphne.
See, that's her!

I had spicy hotpot at Hall 2 canteen.
Not too bad, but the stock taste weird.

Seriously, hall 2 canteen is a million times better than hall 9 canteen. I shall go to hall 2 canteen often.

Gotta go complete my project, update again.

Monday, October 13, 2008

I am so freaking sianz......
So much assignments to finish but I just don't seem to have the enthusiasm to complete them.
Especially group assignments, I hate them.

Musical rehearsals are fun but they totally drained me out.
I've never felt so exhausted with rehearsals before. I guess it's my challenging role that's getting on me.
This time the role that I got is a huge challenge to me but I like it, 'cause challenge means fun and that great sense of acheivement I feel when I get into the character and do it well.
Can't wait for weekends to come, 'cause it's rehearsal time!!!

Will update if I've got more to say.
For now, off to the shower I go!

Monday, October 06, 2008

Movie Night Alone

I went to catch a movie just now.
It was "BIG STAN".

If anyone needs a good laugh, this movie is great manz!
I was laughing the whole time during the show, people in the cinema laughed together.
The show is truly funny.

I think Schneider did an excellent job this time.
Thumbs up for Scneider!

I rate BIG STAN: 4 popcorns outta 5.


I changed my spectacles and my mobile phone!!!

Look like nerd, right? But come on, I'm cute! Hahaha!

By the way, I've changed my mobile phone to Samsung F480.

Update you guys next time, I want to sleep now.

Yes, right now.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Urrggh!!! School Again.

Today marks the end of my recess week.
Well, I dread going back to school tomorrow.
Especially when I have a test and I have not really studied for it.
I sense a wave of work crashing me soon, with four projects on hand and a musical to rehearse, my life is going to be so over.

But rehearsals are what I love most.
I still cannot deny the joy that acting gives me.
I had looked forward to the audition in church this afternoon, and now I am anticipating the upcoming rehearsals.

I hate school. Seriously.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Infatuated Illusion

I always thought he was haughty and arrogant.
Somehow, as I got to know him more, he does not seem as bad as I thought him to be.

I like it when he talks serious stuff with me, I also like it when he laughs with me.
I like it too, when he asks and shares my opinions.
I still like it best, when he looks at me and simply smile, and time just freezes between us.

I do not know whether this is illusion.
Because sometimes life is illusion, and when we wake up from it, we'll be disappointed.
However, even if it is an illusion, I love this illusion.
Even if it will only last for a short while.

I think I am infatuated with him.
Urggh!!! Damn.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

They're Gone, They're Here

They are all gone.
Art is in Taiwan. Lou and Nic are in Tekong.
However, when they called, I am really glad.
Glad to hear that they are doing well.
Glad to hear them ask about me.
Glad to hear them ask about each other.
And, simply glad to just hear their voices.

Last Saturday and Sunday, I had a great time with Dearie.
We went out to eat, retail therapy, play pool and meet up with Roy and Nicky.
It was totally fun!
Then, Dearie stayed over at my house!!!
Like, FINALLY!!!
Chatted till late and slept like logs. Hahaha!!! (>.<)v

This week will be busy, next week is recess week.
Unleashed the wild child in me yeah!

Tuesday, September 02, 2008


I finally finished my eLearning.
Now, I am so exhausted.
Still got to do some research on Vygotsky and Dyslexia.
God help me.
Yesterday night I was so frustrated while doing my ICT eLearning that I changed into my jogging attire and went jogging round the campus. After that, I did sit-ups and toning exercise.
Finally, I vented out all my frustrations.
Yet, this morning I ate a sandwich and cheese fries for brunch!!!
Followed by a rice burger in the evening!!!
So much carbs and fats!!!
I am so dead.
I should have sticked to my slimming programme. Shite.

Monday, September 01, 2008

I'm Nutrageously Fat!

Actually, I should not be here at this moment.
I ought to be doing my assignments.
But, just feel like getting up here and rant some.
There are so much to do yet so little time.
I just ate 1/3 of my Reeses Nutrageous Bar to make myself feel happier but I feel so sinful now.
I'm suppose to be on a diet.
Heh. On a diet to slim down, so going to do sit-ups and toning muscles exercise later.
I was thinking of jogging tomorrow......should I? Hmmm......
Maybe I will go jogging then go to library for some research.
Good, will do that tomorrow.
Alright, enough of ranting.
Gotta go back to my assignments now.
And hope that I slim down soon.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

-Laughs out loud-
I've got a friend, he's a second year student.
He can't remember my name so he calls me "twinkle twinkle little star" cos I always wear my starry jacket.
He finds me cute!
Can you believe it? Amanda Tan is cute!
I mean, I never expect guys to find me cute cos I'm never those cute porcelain dolls kinda girl, you see.
So, thank you boy, for finding me cute.
'Cause that's a revelation to me, and it made my day.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Making A Difference

I went for tutoring this evening at 5pm.
'Cause my student is having her mock exam on wednesday, so she wants extra tutoring.
My student super cute, she passed me a box and she said,"Don't tell my mother I gave you kay."
And I nodded my head, then I asked her,"What's this ah?"
She grinned and replied,"Your teacher's day present."
Although it was a simple chocolate and bookmark, together with a self-made card, but I really love it.
It's not the gift that made me happy, it was the fact that she made the effort to get me a gift.
I LOVE the card she made!
She wrote "Ms Chen", hahaha, 'cause normally she calls me 陈老师.
This is the content of the card, so sweet of her right......This is what propels me in teaching, the sense of achievement that I get from students and knowing for a fact that I did impact their lives and made a difference.

Saturday, August 23, 2008




本来以为,教书会令我感到厌烦。但是,开始教书过后,我发现我真的很爱年轻人和小朋友们。似乎,和他们沟通时,我们都达到一种共鸣,一种相互的了解。喜欢听到他们叫我“老师”,喜欢看到他们因为我简单的鼓励而感动,喜欢看到他们因为我“特别”的想法而觉得诧异的表情,喜欢听他们古怪又新颖的想法,喜欢看到他们在我的教导下敞开心房而改变,喜欢他们的一切一切。或许,教书并不是那么的可怕。我打算在五年后,要不去修个“special needs education”的文凭,要不就像阿亮那样,当个戏剧老师。


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Rest? Stress?

My puking returns!!!
Yesterday night I was just going to and fro the toilet, just to puke.
My roomie was shocked.
Totally puked my dinner out.
After I puked, I was feeling uber dizzy and I staggered back to my room.
This morning when I woke up, the dizziness did not go away and I still had the feeling to puke, so I decided to go to the school's clinic.
The doctor diagnosed a lack of rest and too much stress, she gave me two days MC.
She said to just go back and sleep. That is the most important thing.
The problem sets in.
Tomorrow I have three classes and one project meeting.
0830-1030: DLK101
1030-1230: DCC204
1230-1330: Project meeting
1330-1530: DED 103
After these, I'll be able to rest.
So, rest gotta wait for me.
This morning Junn came over and crashed my hall.
I found it quite a fun thing, I mean, good friends just sitting around and chat.
If Binx was here, it would be even more fun.
We just chat about everything, how we feel and our thoughts, about school and about friends.
I found that I could tell her about "serious" stuff, meaning I could tell her stuff that I hoped and knew I could have done better.
In polytechnic, we don't normally get to be able to find friends whom we can really talk to.
But I'm glad I found them.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Jazzy Fuzzy

This week will be a real busy week for me.
Projects and assignments have started, and you guys know, when it comes to work, I'm super gan-cheong.
Good thing I had my fair share of fun the previous week.
On saturday, I went to Jazz @ Southbridge with my gang of friends and my brother.
Here's some photos!

One of them is my sister, the other is my male bestie. What more could I ask for?
From lovers to best friends, I'm amazed with us.
She knows EVERYTHING about me. Totally.

The girls. You know, it's Girl Power!

I had sucha great time at Jazz, totally love it.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

All about Hall

I just return from my hall freshmen dinner.
A bit boring ah.
Maybe it's me, maybe it's me getting more and more reserved towards people.
But I seriously mean no harm, I just have not much common topics to talk about.
So I decide to keep my mouth shut lor.
This afternoon around 4pm, I went up to the 5th floor of my hostel and did my laundry.
I learnt how to wash my clothes using the washing machine.
So cool, right? Hahaha.
Actually, quite easy to do my laundry, quite fun also.
But I stood there for quite a while to figure out how to operate the washing machine.
Luckily no one was there.
If not, it'll be so embarrassing.
Alright, I'm ranting. Gotta stop.

Being tagged!

1. What is your dream ambition?
`to be a famous actress.
2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
`to have a rich boyfriend who treats me like a treasure.
3. What will your dream wedding be like?
`a small wedding ceremony at my church followed by a buffet with my family and close friends. simple and sweet.
4. What is the city of your dreams and why?
`here in singapore. cos my loved ones are here.
5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
`both, i guess. i'm a split.
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
`i think both are good but loving someone is more blessed. cos when one is really loving, he/she have no place for hatred.
7. Do you trust easily?
`not really. but i do hope a lot.
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
`i'll make him fall for me, then ditch him. the ditching part is a bad habit of mine lah, still trying to correct it.
9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
`nope. none, actually.
10. What does your name mean?
`Amanda means: worthy of love. 韵 means: music, 蕾 means: flower bud.
11. Is being tagged fun?
`alright lah. i get to do this set of question.
12. How do you see yourself?
`bubbly, optimistic, sometimes i could be sensitive but sometimes i'm really indifferent, i'm not very tidy and i'm kinda lazy.
13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
`my family and close friends.
14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
`you mean Marianne? she's my dearie. great sister of mine. we know each other too well, practically everything of each other. Lols.
15. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
`single and rich. cos i get to buy loads of wonderful stuff for my loved ones and go travelling with them. i can give to help the needy.
16. How many children do you want to have, if any?
`2. preferably a boy and a girl. balance of life, people!
17.What’s better, to give or to receive?
`i think both are good. but if to choose, i'll choose to give. when you give, esp with a cheerful heart, you'll be happy.
18. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
`none. cos it's too troublesome to choose.
19. Would you give your all in a relationship?
`yes. if i'm serious.
20. What are you waiting for right now?
`my next pay. Lols.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


I finished my essay this morning at 1.
And I was dead beat, i just fell on my bed and knocked out.
It was no wonder I appeared shagged during classes today, totally have no mood to pay attention to the lecturers.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get another boyfriend again.
My teachers, my friends and my family were wondering whether Amanda Tan will ever fall in love again.
My answer could only be: I don't know.
Cause I seriously have no idea.
It's so hard to share my life with another person called "boyfriend".
Perhaps, I'm not ready yet.
Perhaps, I care too much for myself that I do not want to step into it again.
I don't know, manz.
I want but at the same time, I don't want.
I am fickle, we all know that.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


OH MY 天!

Sunday, August 10, 2008





Monday, July 21, 2008

Piggin' Out

To my precious family:


Y'all are invited to my piggin' out picnic at East Coast!!!
Date: 27.07.2008
Time: 2p.m
Venue: East Coast Beach

Come in shorts and tees, let's make it simple and fun!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Alas, At Last


Tuesday, July 15, 2008


For the last few weeks, I've been too uptight about my school experience.
Haven't been breathing properly and having panic attacks.
But this week, everything seems better.
I'm loving my students more and more.
If not for my students, I would not bother to even go to school.

Today my primary 3 students and I had fun playing games.
Could see that they were happy, but I did not tell them that day after tomorrow will be my last day. Well, just don't know how to tell them. Will miss them terribly.
As for my primary 5 students, today a group of primary 5 boys came and ask me:
And they continued giggling, after that they start grilling me about whether I have boyfriends and stuff like that.
I asked them:“你们为什么问那么多?喜欢我啊?”
And as usual, they start pushing the question to each other.
Sighs, boys.

I will miss them, ALL of them.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Path to Learn

Tomorrow will be THE day.
The start of my one-month school experience.
Well, a little nervous for sure but I am sure I can handle it.
I am quite sure this experience will be very fruitful and interesting.
Also, I promise to learn as much as possible from this practicum.
Everyday will be a fufilling day for me! Whee!~
I've got promptings and dreams about serving this specific ministry in church.
But after talking it with my leader, I felt it's important to seek the Lord for directions and walk in His ways before I make any decisions.
So, one day if you see me serving in this particular ministry in church, don't be surprised.
I will update you guys more on my school experience and the ministry stuff another day.
For now, I want to bathe and read up on some notes on teaching.
To my princesses: Have fun during school experiences and learn loads!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Mister Chin

Sigh. I didn't get his contact number or even email address.
But I cannot forget his face, and his kind eyes.
And his cute smile with braces.
Not to forget, his sincere tone and patience.
I guess it could be a good thing that I never get to really know him, except for his name and his looks. 'Cause secretly liking someone is quite a great feeling, I realised.
It is so......special.
For anyone who's curious, this guy I'm mentioning is the lab assistant who drew my blood for me for some blood tests. I met him in SGH, then again in the polyclinic.
As for why I met him twice, it will be ardous for me to type it here.
Just let me tell you why I was so smitten by this stranger.
Well, I guess it was his kind eyes that draws me initially, then came the patience of this young man that pulls me deeper and we ended this encounter with his cute smile.
On my way home from the polyclinic, I was dilligently imprinting every detail of his looks in my mind, remembering the conversations we held at his table.
I think for all my life, I will never forget this stranger that left some footprints in my life and nearly took my breath away.
And he is..............................................hah! It's a secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me.

Thursday, June 19, 2008


曲: 陈绮贞 词: 陈绮贞

我都知道 我自己都知道
你要相信我 是为了你才这么说
我都知道 我自己都知道
为了讨好你 把时间都忘掉
对你的爱 没有人能做到
我都知道 我自己都知道
为了讨好你 把时间都忘掉
对你的爱 没有人能做到

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Happy Birthday Art

Shoutout to Artie: Hey brother! A blessed 21st to you! Stay happy always and have fun while you can! I'm here 24/7, you know it! Loves, `Dee*

What can I say......I just love life itself. My practicum is starting soon, I'm sure it's gonna be exciting! Gosh, I so can't wait for it! *hoping for handsome male teachers for me to ogle* Hahaha. Later in the evening I am going for Kungfu Panda with L and A.
So, for now, it's cat nap time!

Will update more later!
>.< v

Sunday, June 15, 2008

ever thine ever mine ever ours

Love is something that I cannot afford to receive because I cannot afford to give it back.
I cannot ask someone to be exclusively mine because I cannot exclusively belong to someone.
That is why I am so afraid to start a relationship.
I am sorry.
I really do hope one day, just this one day, I could say this to someone:
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours
That will be so sweet.
But for now, I am a bird without legs.
I will still soar in the skies.
Till the day I touch down.

Dinner at Al Forno

Just a few hours earlier, I went to my brother's birthday dinner at Al Forno.
It was lovely, and thanks to Rado and Divan, the persons in-charge, thumbs up to them.
Also, I really hope everyone enjoyed the dinner.
Of course, most importantly, my brother enjoyed, hope he's happy with his 21st birthday.
I will post the photos asap alright.
The boys headed for clubbing soon after the dinner while the rest of the girls return home.
Well, as for me, I headed home with my parents, carrying loads of food and presents.
I need to catch some sleep soon, tomorrow I'll be attending service.
Can't wait for worship service!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Dearie, Happy Birthday!

Yay! Today I made Rocky Road Crunch Bars for my oikos.
And it turned out quite well.
I'm sure they love it!
Next time, I'll try it with alcohol. Probably with Baileys.

Shoutout to Marianne Freeman: Happy Birthday, Dearie!!!
Stay happy and take good care of yourself ya.
Just remember, I'm here.
My bestie(along with L) for what? 8 years? Yeah! Can you believe it?!

Hmmm......next I'll make Honey Semifreddo.
I bet my family and friends will like it.
Yay yay yay!!!

Thursday, June 12, 2008



Tuesday, June 10, 2008


These few days I've been rotting at home.
I miss clubbing and drinking.
It has been a gazillionz of years since I last clubbed and my doctor forbids me to touch even a teeny weeny drop of alcohol.
Getting too much of the 'girl-next-door' kinda lifestyle.
And I am really getting way too bored.
Everyone around me is working, slogging their life away.
I wish I could do that too.
Basically, I am waiting for my practicum at Bedok West Primary, which will be starting on 23 June.
Yet, for now, I seriously don't mind hooking up a rich boyfriend who thinks I am the best thing that ever happen to him. Hahaha.
Alright, just kidding ok. Although, it will really be nice to have a rich boyfriend.
But hey, the poor have the their own way of dating.
I am just ranting, I have nothing much to say.
You know you love me.
And I love you too.
Whatever. -RMIE-

Monday, June 09, 2008

I Am So Happy!

I'm so happy!
Though, I have been going through loads of illnesses, I still thank God for my wonderful family and friends.
I never have to worry that nobody is there to support me.
Everybody loves me so much, I don't know how to give back the love.
My family is the wackiest of all.
Love them, whee!~ -hugs-
My wonderful friends, though sometimes we do quarrel, but in the end, we still love each other, and we still stand by each other. -hugs-
Now, everyday, I wake up with a thankful heart that I am still breathing, alive and kickin'.
I thank God that He gave me so much, and I am really contented.
Really, thank You so much.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

My Amigos

I guess it's kinda hurting when you end up quarrelling with your besties.
Art, Nic and Lou are like my big brothers. I feel as if we grew up together, that's how close we are.
Lou and I, well, we did not really quarrel but I guess we're angry with each other.
Probably too pissed off with each other that we don't even want to talk, I don't even know what he thinks now.
I mean, it's as if his lil' princess doesn't really matter to him anymore.
Well, what could I say? There are people that matters more, right?
Maybe when we're not that worked up, we'll seek each other and trash things out.
I'm sure that we'll still be L and D, again.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Fried Brain Fight Fried Food

I'm back from church camp on Saturday night.
Church camp was fun, the only down thing was: I was terribly ill.
My tonsils were swollen and I had a fever of 41 Degree Celsius. Yes, my brain was fried, but no one would notice that I had sucha high fever. 'Cause basically, I'm still playing and laughing like a normal me (which probably wasn't very normal in the first place, ha!)
Yup, but by God's grace lah, my fever quickly subsided and I returned to church for sunday service. Just that my tonsils still hurt quite a bit 'cause it was terribly swollen and full of pus.
However, after visiting the doctor yesterday, and taking some antibiotics, my tonsils hurt less.
No more fever too!
But still, I gotta avoid fried food and seafood.
Sho' sadd...

Sunday, May 25, 2008


Well, I see that I've neglected this place for a long time huh.
So, I'm back to write some shit.
Alright, so many things have happened.
People changed, feelings changed, and I reckon a storm is brewing.
I just hope I won't lose my life in ze storm.
Ok, just wanna inform you guys, I'll be going for camp during 28/05/2008 to 31/05/2008.
Will update after the 31st.

Thursday, May 08, 2008









Monday, May 05, 2008

I'm back!

I'm back, after a spate of illness.
And I lost 5kilos altogether.
Like, as if it's enough.
I'm going to go jogging to firm my flabs.

Anyway, just to update, I'm only working on saturdays, starting from the month of May.
Well, got to start preparing for my praticum lah.

Oh well, May is a busy month for me.
So many appointments, seminars and not to forget, church annual dinner and camp.

So many May and June babies, gotta go think of what to get for their birthdays.
Sigh, and what's worse, I'm so broke.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Sun Brightens Our Day

You know, I'm super pissed off because I did not get my pay cheque today.
So, I get a little cranky.
Damn boss I have.
Ignore me, I'm ranting again.
Sometimes, I wonder what kind of creature am I.
You know, I got this weird habit of making people fall for me, but in the end, even if I have feelings for that person, I'm always backing out at the idea of relationship. It's the thing about commitment and freedom. I'm so tired of it.
This is stupid.
Looking forward to Sunday.
Well, purely because I'm going on a brunch date with my A.J friends.
I heard that the venue is The Marmalade Pantry, am I right?
Good, looking forward to good food and good company and good talks.
Love you guys so much.
As for Dearie, meet up with you next Wednesday or something yeah?
'Cos for this week, I'll be quite busy.
I miss you, dearie.
Update me when we meet ok?

Sunday, April 06, 2008

So Secure In My World

I'm sort of tired of so many things happening around me that I couldn't be bothered to go and care, unless I want to.
So, basically, a lot of times, I just sleep.
Well, because sleeping shuts me out from the world.
And I like it.
Yeah, I like to just go into my small world and just rest.
Then, when I wake up, I do what I ought to do, I do what is needed.

Artie, I never really have security issues so probably I can't really say much.
But, I think the most important thing is to have confidence in yourself and well, have the assurance that nothing is too big a deal.
You know something? Whenever I'm unsure or stirred, I tell myself I'll bear the consequences of everything that I choose. It's just consequences.
Nothing too big. 兵来将挡,水来土挡
Forget regret. And a lot of things won't be too big of an issue.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Monday, March 24, 2008



Monday, March 17, 2008

He still loves me

Caught 'House of Sins' with Dearie on Saturday night, at Jubilee Hall.
It was intriguing, totally overwhelming for my senses.
But the way LiXie presents her ideas and opinions is......explosive.
I mean, the play starts with a very oppressive and repressed environment, it's not just the lines, it's the whole stage setting and the spirit behind every character.
And, slowly the story builds up and poof! The characters explode and it's as if they throw themselves to the wind.
However, some might not like this play, or perhaps, some might not be able to accept it because of its explicit scenes.
As for me, I TOTALLY love it!

Yesterday, Rev.Trevor Yaxley gave me a word of prophecy.
Yes, I was stunned, because it was so close to my heart.
So very close.
I want to thank God for that word, because it shows that He still loves me and still wants to use me for His great work even though, even though I'm such a weird, odd, blasphemous kid. I mean, I'm not that standard holy Christian you can find. In fact, I'm below standard. My opinions and values differ from the norm, people probably raise their eyebrows or cringe when they see what I do or what I think of certain issues of life.
Now, I'm encouraged. Very encouraged actually.
'Cos even though I'm not holy, but I'm not too bad either.
I'm just unique, and I can do something for God.

Saturday, March 08, 2008


Just when I thought I'm over it, He up there played a joke on me again.
How comforting ah.
But well, I guess I felt much better saying it out and making the decision that I made.
So, great!
Thursday, D asked me out for lunch and since I needed to eat lunch anyway, so we went to Pasir Ris Swensens. But how dare he call me a glutton! Hmph! I just had a craving for Mac&Cheese, that's all. Then, he came over and helped me with marking my primary 5 papers. But we stop after a while and caught 'The Devil wears Prada'. After 10 minutes, I went into the snooze mode while he enjoys the show.
Yesterday, I went to The Corduroy Cafe with Art. I was pretty exhausted from work, but still, I went to meet him. We ordered a pot of chamomile tea, a tiramisu and a lemon posset. Totally heavenly man. Then, I came back to bedok for cell group, so freakshow lor, I was in charged of leading WordEd. And it's on rapture and the Second Coming and stuff like that. Gosh, I totally freaked out, thank God R helped me out. And well, you know, as usual, when I lead WordEd, everyone will have a good laugh till they burst their seams. Don't know what so funny lor, but yeah, people laughed.
Then, when I returned from cell group, D came over and collected his umbrella and we chatted till 12 plus in the morning. Talked out a lot of stuff and about life, it's always great to have a friend whom you can talk to. Thanks, for......well, everything. =)

Wednesday, March 05, 2008



Alchoholic? Nope. Workaholic.

Well, on friday I gave the polyclinic a rain check. Hmmm, had trouble waking up early, you see.
And, I gave Leap Years a rain check too. Purely because I could not get a good seat.
So, I took up Juno. It's about a teenager getting pregnant and giving up her baby for adoption and finding true love. Of course, some social problems and all. I'll give it 3 popcorns outta 5.

Started my first day in student care on Monday, 3 march.
I mean, it was pretty easy for me because I'm familiar with the students and the whole procedure and stuff like that. Just some administrative stuff to add on.
Somehow, it was busy on Tuesday, 4 march.
I was alone, managing the centre for 2 hours, taking care of the kids, their revision and their lunch, at the same time, manning the counter.
Took up an extra class of primary 2 math at Tampines centre, the kids are pretty smart but they really cannot sit still for long.
Now, I'm working in student care in the morning, and tutoring in the afternoon/night, 8 classes of tutoring altogether.

True, it's tiring. But it's worth it.
At least, working takes my mind off certain things.

Friday, February 29, 2008

cough away, please

My cough ain't any better. So, I took a day off to see the doctor. 7 hours later, you'll see me at the polyclinic. This damn cough has been with me for almost a week, hope I could get rid of it soon.

A few hours earlier, I was in my Secondary 1 english class. Those two imps are really tired just now. I guess it's the long hours in school and the extra english class in the night that really took a toll on them. But I love this class, though there's only two students, they are uber cute. I mean, teenagers are fun, especially at 13 years old. So greenhorn and yet they want to be cool and act emo. Angela is a nice girl, but she's super slow at catching my point, and her voice gives me shingles. Hahaha, but she's always so interested in my experiences. Jacky is one emo-freak, he likes to think that everything on this earth has got nothing to do with him, and everything is like, none of his business. It's as if he's living in his own bubble, but after some talking and sharing with him, he's slowly opening up to me, and he learns how to smile and laugh!!! So happy that I've made an impact.

In 12 more hours, I will be joining my friends for a movie date: The Leap Years.
Wait for my review, my darlings!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Leaving for the future

Down with some crazy cough these few days, busy with work and many appointments.

This afternoon was really great because 'Nic and I met up with LTK, and we had a nice cosy high tea at Cafe Melvados. Well, LTK is leaving for Australia this coming Sunday. So, we gotta meet him before he leaves. We chatted quite a bit and found out he's going over to Australia to finish his phD in translation, probably he'll work there for a couple of years. Oh yeah, we bought him a present from L'Occitane, and I guess he like it a lot. Hahaha.

I guess I love meeting up with teachers and lecturers for a meal or high tea, or maybe even drinks. It's just so......nostalgic. So......warm and nice.

I'm quite worried for myself though, I can't seem to REALLY gel with people around me. I mean, I never had this kinda problem before. I used to be very inter-relational, like a social butterfly. Yet now, I realised I'm becoming more of a intra-relational person. I think much more, having a lot of personal thoughts to myself, talking less, watching more and thinking even more. I don't know, I mean, this could be good, right? I mean, I'm not closing myself, just toning down, I guess.

Shouldn't be too bad for me.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Noisy CNY, Quiet V day

O well, these Chinese New Year photos are way overdue. We went to my second aunt's and fourth aunt's house on 初四.
Look at us cousins! Imitating the rodents! Hah!
My cousins from Malaysia. Miss them so much!
The wacky cousins again! At my fourth aunt's house.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, one of the rare years where I celebrated Valentine's Day without a valentine. Hahaha! But I'm so satisfied to be working and earning, it made me feel like I'm a working adult, like a career woman. Hahaha!

Alrighty, time to go for oikos in church, pastor Tay is holding a buffet in church! Wootz!~

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Relationship vs Reality

Sometimes I very much desire a firm, strong piggyback when I fall or when I am tired. Or probably just a simple, lovely chat at a coffee house, or perhaps, each of us holding a classic in our hands, engrossed in the content of it. Or even better, a person who would love to enjoy foreign films with me at The Picturehouse and musicals, like, Beauty World.

But when I see the hiccups in the relationships my friends are facing, it just pulls me back to reality. Relationships are not easy to handle. It bogs one down when you got to face work, family, friends and your partner, ALL at the same time. Then, when both of you face problems, both will expect understanding from the other, and you will get exhausted with expecting but not getting your expectations met, giving in but not getting anything in return.

How sad......

Probably I need some time to psycho myself to accept a new relationship, or probably I just need someone special to touch this heart of mine.


A picture is worth a thousand words.
See my wacky friends and family? Totally FABULOUS!!!

Monday, January 28, 2008

I have a friend, she's one year my junior and she asked me some questions, and they made me reflect, on my behavior with the opposite gender.

She asked me, "Do you hold hands, hug or lay your head on a guy's shoulder? Though he's
your good friend?"
If you're one of my close friends, you'll know my answer. It's a YES. So, I told her.
'Cos I do hold hands, lock arms, hug and take a rest on my good-guy-friends' shoulders.
Then she asked(yet again), "Don't you think there should be some limits?"
Ok, so here it is. I should have expected this.
But if you know me well, you'll know my answer is: Well, I am an expressive girl. So, I'm used to this kinda thing. It's my way of expressing friendliness and besties form of expression.
But O well, whatever.

I thought about my way of expression.
Maybe it's not very acceptable to some, but I am like that.
I can't just change because of some people's dislike.
But I reckon I'll have to tone down my form of expression since some of my guy-friends are attached.
Don't want any trouble, you know.
But I am still very much expressive.
Very much ME.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Alright, I'm super tired after two major events during the weekends.

Firstly, my close sister Prissy is married on Saturday!!!
I woke up at 0430 in the morning and went to her house to help her, to take her gowns and jewellery, to help her give red packets to the kids and to serve tea to the elders.
Then, early in the morning at 10, her husband's friends asked me to drink, BEER!!!
Bo pian, must drink lah, cannot be spoilsport.
But those guys thought it's so WOW for a girl to drink beer. Like puh-lease lor, they really don't know me.
After that, in the late afternoon we went to the hotel to rest.
In the night, we're busy, damn busy man. It was as if it's my wedding lor. I helped them with the solemnisation ceremony and being the compere for the wedding. Well, hardly ate anything but I drank loads of red wine. Drank till I was quite tipsy, but good thing Ling, Chester and Kenneth sent me home. Hahaha.

Next, yesterday my dearest 'Nic is back!!! Welcome home, Nic!
Missed you so much.
It feels good to have you back.

Tiring, feel like puking.
Gosh, if only I could puke everything out.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I love working.
I mean, though now I'm still terribly ill but I simply love my work.
My boss gave me two more classes, which means more moolah, more students, more work.
But I love it.
Eight classes all together for me now, though I should be tired, but I felt totally energetic.

My friends are facing problems, loads of problems, whether relationships, friendships or decision-making.
I don't think I have much of those problems, or maybe I have, but God gave me wisdom and a heart to handle them. And when I put my focus on God's assurance, these problems really become minute.

My dearest Nic, you maybe alone in China, but always remember we're here and be strong. You may not have handled your problems well but no matter what, just ignore the people and focus on us and God.

My darling Lou, your problem ah......small case lah. Just communicate more with you-know-who lor. Sure can worked a solution out one lah.

My dearest sister Dearie, relationship wise, I'm not worried for you. But friendship wise, well, give Long some time, he'll come to his senses and be more understanding. So, don't worry.

Mel, I hope I got my message across to you. This is your life, your future, seek God, ask yourself, the whole universe will conspire to help you if it's God's will. Love the art in yourself, not yourself in art. And most importantly, art is an expression of life.

As for myself, I do have a desire and special plan to serve God. But I do not know whether it's Him who's calling me or not, and whether I'm up to the task or not. So a little confused here, but I'll sort it out with God.
Yeah God, You know it all, right..?
Yes You do.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

I woke up yesterday morning with a scratchy throat and big bad flu.
Immediately I knew I really got to sacrifice my private tuition to catch some extra rest.
So, I called Yang's mom and told her I could only tutor Yang next Monday. I guess she was shocked 'cause my voice was totally different, my vocals turned astray. Bad vocals.
But, yeah, got some rest in the afternoon after a hearty meal of beef bolognese farfarlle. Home-cooked. By me, duh.

Today was well-spent, albeit some arguments with Art.
I think nowadays I get easily agitated, I don't know why but I feel kinda MOK. (MOK means amok.) And I feel guilty 'cause I throw my temper all around, not like it's making anyone feel better. Gosh, I can't stand myself.
However, back to today. Went out on some chillax over a cup of coffee at Starbucks, with my precious Art and Lou. It's always so great to have your close friends around you, just chatting and bitching. But my scratchy throat and flu still persist on attacking me, now their accomplice the cough is starting to get to me too. Gahh. Hate it.

Tomorrow I'm gonna see my students again. Looking forward but hope they don't mind my throat.
I'm so looking towards end of the month. That's when all the moolah rolls in.
You know what I mean.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I'm so freaking tired nowadays.
Guess I've been teaching too much.
I mean, now I have six classes with me, so it's kinda taking the toll on me.
But somehow, I love my kiddos manz. They are sooooo cute!!!
It's going to be difficult for me to part with them when I have to quit.
When I was alone, stoning in my room, I prayed for the couples(I mean, those who are attached) in my oikos.
I also don't know why, but I felt prompted to pray for them, for their relationships with each other. I'm very sure prayer works, so I'm assured that whatever problems that they are facing now, will be overcomed.
I think I must come up with a prayer list for my oikos.
In my opinion, if one is concerned about another, one will hope for the best for that person. So, We pray not out of duty or because that's what everybody is doing, but we pray out of love for that someone.
So, we shall all pray for one another and encourage each other.

Friday, January 11, 2008

I never knew just a simple meal with old friends could be so fulfilling and lovely.
Yesterday night Wenlong and I went to Dearie's house for a cook-in.
I cooked Linguine Beef Bolognese for Long, Dearie, Bryan and me.
It was so cool, we all loved it.
After dinner we had Chocolate Viennese Biscuits and green grapes with Earl Grey tea.
As we eat, we chatted about life, dreams and memories.
Sigh, so cosy......
I miss my friends so much, gotta meet up with them soon.
And I'm so gonna join Junyuan Alumni lah, oh yeah, and I'm visiting JYSS on Chinese New Year eve.
It's been three years since I last saw them.
Yups, it's about time I show my face.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Oh, you guys should know that MCking passed away right?
That is, if you guys ever read the tabloids.
Alright, let's give him the last round of applause, to MCking.
It is always important that artistes get affirmation from his/her audiences.
But anyway, that's besides the point.
The point is, the media and some people are accusing Zoe Tay for not respecting MCking.
She lavishly celebrated her birthday with her fans and some editorial staff while on the other side, other celebs are sobbing their eyes out for MCking.
Okay, first of all, can't all of you see that it's a gimmick of the media to magnify both news and put them side by side on the papers?
Gosh, like how dumb could all the readers get? And if you are one of those who got tricked by this gimmick, please get yourself a new name and oh, it's spelled this way--M.O.R.O.N.
Like puh-lease! The editorial staff could jolly well not report the birthday celebration, or maybe just a low-profile report on the last page of the papers.
Next, I personally think that it would shut the mouths of the reporters and certain readers had Zoe sent a wreath over to MCking's funeral. 人没到,花圈理应到吧。
Firstly, it's a form of respect as well as concern. On the other hand, people won't have things to say.
But O well, as I always say: if you're in this circle, especially showbiz, people do talk and you gotta decide whether all those are worth it.

I am so into earning moolah nowadays......
I don't know why, but I guess, moolah is important, especially now I'm saving up for my brother's birthday as well as my education. I've started this plan on my further studies, so gotta save up. Oh, I'm drafting out my play. I'm not giving up on writing, never will.

Monday, January 07, 2008

I'm so excited!!!
'Nic is coming home soon!
20th Jan, simply can't wait for his arrival.
And yes kiddo, I'll get Old Chang Kees for you, don't you worry.

19th Jan is another special day.
My good sister Prissy is getting married.
Sigh, seriously, I'm happy for her yet at the same time I can't bear to see her get married. Well, I don't really know how to express this mixed feelings.
But, I'm glad I could do something for her on her wedding day, I'm helping out as one of the 'sisters' as well as the compere of her wedding dinner.
Prissy, your sister here 衷心祝福你,希望你永远幸福!

I'm so freaking in need of moolah, I'm like so freaking money-face now lah.
If only I could take up one more group of private tuition or tuition class......

Sunday, January 06, 2008

You know, sometimes it's just inevitable that people talk about you.
Just like what Blaire says, "If you choose to be in this circle, people will talk. And you gotta decide whether all these, are worth it."
I guess, that's exactly what's happening to my friends and I.
I mean, whether at workplace or school or just a basic social circle, people talk.
And sometimes, not everything is nice.
So, my advice to my good brother Nic, who's now at China dealing with people and examinations, just live up to your role.
If people says you're a bitch, then bitch it back.
Just like some people have the impression of me being a vixen, I've tried explaining and taking on "the-girl-next-door" kinda look. But sometimes, people just don't want to listen or believe. So there's nothing much I could do right? Yups, nothing I could do so might as well just let them continue with that impression of me.
At least that's something huh.
Well, 'Nic, don't worry alright, you still have me and Art and Lou and Zac. We love you.
And I know that you love me too, darling.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Can't help, but I'm itching to blog.
Hmmm......basically I just want to update you guys on what I am currently into;
I'm SO into TV series GossipGirl and this newly formed band named 大嘴巴DaMouth.

cool, GossipGirl is actually a novel, but turn it into TV series, and you'll get real life tabloids shouting at your face. It's like, the bitchiest TV show ever. Trust me, you'll love it.This is 大嘴巴DaMouth. A band in taiwan. I totally love their songs, their rock pop and rap. Wootz! Moove the groove in me, y'all. From left to right: DJ, 爱莎, MC, 怀秋.

I totally love these. Like, totally. Yeah.

Today's my off day!
Guess who I spent it with?
Alright, I owed her this okay. For like, don't know how many years lah.
I thought a day spent with melo-dramatic Melody would be super boring.
Apparently, I am not very right.
Even though my menstrual cramps prevented me from being nice and funny, but it did bring on some bitchiness in me, which totally spiced up the whole outing.
I brought her for a "makeover".
Not those super good and high class one, but enough to turn her into a girl.
REAL girl.
And I'm sure the girl enjoyed our outing today huh..?
It's time for transformation, Mel.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

A new year, definitely a different year for me.
A more fufilling one, I pray.
We only got one life, live it the way we truly want.
Live it like it's the last day we have.
You know you love me.