Friday, December 31, 2010

不知道为什么,今天想用中文写日记。

很快,2010年就到了尾声。

今年,我经历的变化很多。
1. 我终于正式成为一位老师。
2. 我的男朋友到外国公干,两个人分隔两地,不容易。刚开始,经常意见不合,但是久了,了解彼此的工作时间与作息,就更珍惜拥有彼此的时间,更加疼惜彼此。
3. 我被工作搞得晕头转向,朋友不多,只剩几个,但是无比的亲。所以特别珍惜。
4. 不知道为什么,觉得自己变得较沉默,比较爱独来独往的生活,不再疯狂地有很多人包围着我。
5. 我的华文程度退步了,好羞愧哦。

新的一年里,我兴奋地期待着看自己如何面对挑战。
我相信我可以。
我肯定我可以。
你问我为什么?
我知道我的神能帮我,而且他会帮我。
我相信,我知道。

Thursday, October 14, 2010

My Letter Of Hurt

I look at myself and I asked, "Am I a lousy teacher?"
Sometimes I feel that way.
Well, some of my pupils DO think that I am one.
I asked myself, "Am I unfair to my pupils? Was I unjust to them?"
I know that I am not.
I believe my own eyes and my investigation.
When I see and found out the mistake, surely I will reprimand and punish.
Even if it means doing that to my 'favourite' students.
However, I was greatly resented by them.
I am named 'the lousy teacher', the unfair one'.
Those whom was once my aids, now became the rebels.
I felt hurt by my students, my students are the people I cared and loved.
No matter their looks or character, I love them just as much.
I once believed that I can teach them with the grace of God and guide them in the ways of the Lord.
Now, I doubt myself.
Sometimes, I get home and I cry.
I was very demoralised.
Now, I am down in the valley of the shadow of death.
My God, my Lord, can I have a shoulder to lean on?

Monday, October 11, 2010

Work Woes

Half of term 4 has passed.
Everyday is a busy day, work is never-ending.
Setting papers and drilling my students are sickening.
I feel like vomitting whenever I do these things.
Furthermore, there are reports to write and administrative work we have to complete.
Sometimes I'll wonder where am I?
I miss my hubby.
I will be going over to shanghai in december to visit him.
Yay! I can't wait for holidays!
;)

Monday, August 23, 2010

End Term

Today is the start of term 3 week 9.
One term just passed, like that.
Time really flies, especially when one is having so much to do.

I miss my hubby so much.
His birthday is coming soon.
I want to mail him his present.
But, what should I get him?
I am thinking of some sermon CDs or a few Christian CDs and a super HUGE birthday card.
Of course, with an addition of my photos!
Heehee!~

Looking forward to September holidays, I want to go sun tanning at Sentosa!
Yay! =))
But first and foremost, get past week 9 and week 10.
It's gonna be tough, but Jesus will sustain and provide!
I believe in Him! :D

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Disappointment Is Inevitable.

Disappointment, much?

Sigh...
I do not want to put the blame on him since it wasn't his fault that his friends do not keep to schedule.
But the disappointment just crept in.
For those who do not know what I am talking about, my love and I arranged to chat online tonight (we do this often since he is not in singapore).
However, due to his friends' inability to stick to the schedule they've planned (this is his explanation lah), he is unable to reach tianjin in time to chat with me (yes, he went to beijing over the weekend).
We've arranged this at noon, then, he just told me at 8:30pm that he won't be able to stick to our plan.
Last minute change, disappointment is inevitable right...?
Especially when you looked forward to talk your loved ones.
Even if it means, over the internet.

O well, what can I do but try to find excuses for myself to stop feeling disappointed?
So I told myself, I can use this time to watch my Korean drama or copy sermons into my mp3.
At least, I won't feel too sad.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

cubicle thoughts

*sitting in my office now*

I am having my break time now.
Finished marking my students' assignments, so I spent some time thinking about some stuff.

I was thinking of my students.
What is the reason for them to rebel or disobey?
Why is it that sometimes, I have to scold and scream at them?
Why can't I speak to them like how Jesus spoke to us? Jesus's compassionate and gentle tone makes us stop and think.
But when I speak to my students nicely, some listen yet some push the limits and therefore I need to scream at them.
I really want to figure out WHY and HOW...
why can't they listen and understand and obey?
how can I, be like Jesus who speaks grace into our life, also speak grace into the lives of our young ones so that they know the heart of mine?
Sigh......

Also, I was thinking of my relationship with my love.
Thinking of the trust and faith I have in him, yet at the same time, thinking of the 'what ifs'.
Sometimes, it's a struggle and it becomes weary.
Sometimes, it's renewed and soaring in the skies.
Sometimes, it's just......uncertain.
Believe in the power of LOVE......
Love......hmmmmm......
Sigh......

Let's not think about things for awhile.
For this moment, or rather a few more moments,
let's just live without thinking, let's just live with risks and uncertainties.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

My 22nd

My 22nd was simple.
But simplicity has its beauty.
Birthday dinner and picnic, followed by a cold treat at Haagen Daz.
I will post the photos when I got the time.
For now, its time to worry about work for tomorrow.
I'm already feeling the Monday blues.
Jesus, may Your favour and grace be upon me as I enter another week again.
=))

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Honey & Rose

Yes yes, I remembered that I promised my friends that I am going to post up my goodies once I finished baking.
But of course, as usual, I am lazy and I procrastinated and then, I am only posting up photos now.
And today is the 5th day after the baking.

The very yummy sweet batter I prepared, from scratch!

The short and fat cupcakes rising in the oven.

When they are out, the luscious golden brown springy top makes me drool.


I forgotten to take photos when I was frosting the first batch of cupcakes.
So, the next time I frost my second batch of cupcakes, I will definitely take photos.
The pinky buttercream icing is fabulously princess-like!
I love it!
I am sure my princesses will love them too!
=))

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The 1/4 Wife

I am the 1/4 wife now.
To be honest, I really cannot wait to be the 1/2 wife.
I guess, we are really so in love with each other, we are willing to spend the rest of our lives together.
He is a very good man.
Whenever my family or friends ask me why I chose him, I told them: He is a good man and we love each other.
Actually, on our first date, I already know he will be the one.
Well, the reason being I am myself when I am with him and I know he loves and accepts me for who I am.
Now I look back at the past one year and three months together, I really feel true bliss.
Despite the ups and downs of our relationship, we still go through it together and build our relationship stronger.
These two years will be a tough time for us, especially when we cannot be by each other's side.
But I am sure if we can survive this two years without our relationship being negatively affected, we can go through anything together and our love will turn stronger.

Beeee, if you are reading this, I just want to tell you I am waiting for you.
Just like how Penelope waited for Ulyssess.
I love you very much.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Long Live The Queens And The Princess

http://nylonforlife.blogspot.com/2010_05_01_archive.html

Look at the post above, search for the post on 28th May.
I am so touched by our friendship.
And yes, "We've made a deal ages ago. Men, babies, it doesn't matter. We're soulmates."

Thursday, May 13, 2010

何人知?

我知道不管在哪里,如果我发牢骚的话,一定会被大家骂。
我觉得很委屈,满肚子的委屈。
难道你们就不能听,然后以一种同理的心情来慰问我吗?
为什么一定要说我做得不够?
或者,是我一定要改变?
难道我做错了吗?
所以,我错了咯?所以你们每个人都要我改,要我体谅。
那谁来体谅我呢?
谁来为我而改呢?
我气,非常的气,满肚子的委屈让我气得要爆炸!
啊!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Life's Cavity

My tooth aches.
I think its a dental cavity.
Is this cavity a warning or is it the problem itself?

I do not know whether the cavity in my life is the prelude to the bigger storm that is coming, or is that the tsunami on its own.
But one thing for certain is, I really do not feel good at all.
It hurts.

Could I still smile that perfect smile and pretend the pain is not there?
Or probably, in order not to agrravate the cavity, I should just starve myself to death?
I know everyone would say just go seek dental help.
But, I have my fear.
My fear is not of the machinery, but of the reproachful eyes of the dentist and the pain that comes after the dental visit.

Do you understand what I am talking about?
I truly doubt you do.

Friday, April 30, 2010

TGIF. Thank God It's Friday

Beeee went overseas already.
I guess I'm trying to get used to not having him around.
I mean, I used to see him every weekend and now, I feel really lost.

Oh well, TGIF!!!
Hope to meet up with Lou tonight since the other two are occupied with lurrrve...
Hahahaha!
Just kidding alright, don't kill me.

Nowadays, I'm fighting with two enemies: Fatigue and Nausea.
I feel so drained out fighting with them.
Sometimes, I will have that thought of just collapse and not deal with them.
Bleah.

TGIF!!!
Let's enjoy the weekend and put my worries behind my back.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Long Time No See

Busy.
That is the word that kept me from blogging.
Work is keeping me away from having a life.
It made me felt that I was normal, previously.
Operative word: previously.

Beeee is leaving tomorrow afternoon.
Then, it will be 2 years of long-distance relationship.
I do not know how things will go, but I will believe in us, just like how I believe in him when he went for FHA 2010 competition.
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys, my boyfriend got a gold medal for the competition.
I am so proud of him.

Hmmm...Beeee is sleeping so soundly now, so cute, hahahaha!
Later, I will drag him to Arab street with me, I want to get a picnic basket.
So that the next time when he's back in Singapore, we can go picnic at botanical garden again.
Both of us love picnics so much, it will be our regular date thing, I guess.
So, why not get a good picnic basket? Right...?