Thursday, December 28, 2006

众口铄金,积毁销骨。

不过,我会做一颗锤不扁、斩不断、踢不动、蒸不熟、炒不爆、煮不烂、响当当的铜豌豆!

哈哈!

我没那么容易被你们说的是是非非而压倒。

哼!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

went to party on 24th..
rush through 3 parties..
gosh...
its tiring...i reached home at 2am on 25th..
slept till 12pm...hahaha...

first stop was Uncle Chris & Auntie Rachel's house.
must say a BIG BIG thank you to Uncle Chris & Auntie Rachel.
you guys open your house for us to party every year, without fail.
it's really not easy, with all the great food and friends and small cutie gifts...
THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCHIE!!!!!
had a great chat with enoch, eden and eoin (uncle chris n auntie rach kids=my childhood friends) enoch=teasing me once he sees me, as always. but we can chat heart to heart too okie..haha..
eden=laugh at me, ever so frank and bitchy with me.
eoin=bully me lah..got bullied by a kid leh..haiyah..hahaha..!

my brother arthur, eden, enoch, eoin and me. (clockwise)

second stop was alvin kor's house. had fun with my church members. stuffed myself silly with loads of food. and received quite a number of presents from my brothers and sisters in christ. had a great chat with them too. love them all.

last stop was marianne dahling's house. though i was super duper late but my gang still loves me. hugged me non stop since the moment i stepped into her house. hahaha.. Jeux D'enfant peeps!!! i LOVE you guyss!!!!!! ~*kiss kiss hugz hugz* most of us got super emo at dahling's house when we reach the countdown. marianne dahling, feng cutie, vivian sweetie, shan shan, ah long, louis dude, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!! -group hugz!!!- hahaha..

lastly, Christmas is a season of loving and giving. Jesus is the reason we live. Blessed Christmas to y'all!!! ;)

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Song: Somewhere Out There

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

it's holidays!!!
like finally.
but they might as well don't give us holidays.
i've got loads of assignments to do.
and as usual, when holidays arrive, i fall ill.
bah-ness!
sore throat and flu.
gahh!!

oh yeah, i know in my last post, i was really pissed off.
and i rant non-stop.
i'm sorry people.
made some of you worried and angry as well.
oh well, after ranting everything out, i felt much better.
i can't really control the way others handle me, can't force them to come right up to me and tell me what they don't like about me right...
so, i'll just embrace it, deal with it lah.
as long as i'm not guilty of anything, i don't have to be too bothered.
i guess, different people have different ways of handling stuff, so i can't force them to change because of me.
just like how they can't force me to change because of them.
so, yupz, guess whatever comments come, i'll just accept them if i feel that i need to,
if not, i'll just throw them into the bin.
still, i want to thank those people who commented on me.
at least now i know what you guys think of me.
went through a period of anger, handling of emotions and reflections.
found out that maybe there are certain areas of my character i need to change and some i don't see the need to.
and most importantly, i learnt that God wants me to look to Him, not to Man.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

don't you all dare judge me, 'cos all of you have no right to do so.
don't like the way i am, tell me right smack in my face.
don't "comment" behind my back.
tell me straight in my face, if i want to change, i will.
if i don't want to change, you just gotta take it or leave it.
get it?!
thanks a lot.
don't have the guts to tell me what you don't like about me...?
tsk tsk..i totally despise these kinda people.
then GO HOME & SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE ABOUT ME!!!!
once again, i say: don't like what i write? too bad, that's me.

Monday, December 04, 2006

看了碧慧的msn nickname;我突然想写一篇华文的文章。
“除了你,我会关上所有爱别人的门”
我想;或许我现在正处在这样的状况下。这几个星期一直狂犯桃花运,但心里总是挂念着他。我想;我真地爱上他了。不管身边有多少条件一级棒的男生在追我,我好像都不屑一顾。心里不知为何只有他的影子,他的名字。有时,我会担心自己是不是过于投入这段感情,我害怕失去的时候,我会变得很彷徨吧。
哈哈!我的前任男友们肯定说:“韵蕾一直以来都很狠,对感情的事是毫不留情的。”
这次不一样了,不知为什么的;就是不一样。
若有一天失去时,希望我能应付吧。
对那么软弱的自己,我还是有点怕怕的,不知所措。
唉。。。
Song: The Way You Look At Me

No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up too
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes say everything without a single word

CHORUS
'Cause there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

If I could freeze a moment in my mind
It'll be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock, make time stands still
'Cause, baby, this is just the way I always wanna feel

[Repeat CHORUS]

BRIDGE
I don't know how or why
I feel different in your eyes
All I know is it happens every time

[Repeat CHORUS]

The way you look at me
:
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this song specially dedicated to my honey dear.
thank you for everything. love you loadz my dear. ;)

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

somebody twirl me on the dance floor yeah...
:
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Song: Sway

When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more

Like a flower bending in the breeze
Bend with me, sway with ease
When we dance you have a way with me
Stay with me, sway with me

Other dancers may be on the floor
Dear, but my eyes will see only you
Only you have that magic technique
When we sway I go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins
Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now

Sway me, take me
Thrill me, hold me
Bend me, ease me
You have a way with meSway (sway)

Other dancers may be on the floor
Dear, but my eyes will see only you
Only you have that magic technique
When we sway I go weakI go weak

I can hear the sounds of violins
Long before it begins
Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now

Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now
Make me thrill as only you know how
Sway me smooth, sway me now
Sway me
Sway me
Sway me now
:
:
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:
:
i'm so tired of projects and presentations...
but i love interpretation..
mwahahaha..
cos tong king teaching what...
realised he's quite a good teacher..
:
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missing my dear..
hmmm....
gahhh...!
sometimes too caught up in my school stuff and friends but dearie i still love you kkz..
~muackz!*

~darn, i hate to admit it but yes, i miss you and i love you so much.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

so much to say.
so much happened in a day.

i hardened my heart towards you.
you asked me whether i'll fight for you,
a "yes" longs to leap out of my mouth but i kept it and gave you a firm "no".
a "no", hoping that you'll find me cruel and give up on us.
i saw the tears and the pain and the love,
my heart literally ached.
but still, i let go.

went home, sat infront of my laptop, tears welled up in my eyes.
my mom came to give me a hug.
i shook my head, repeatedly telling her i'm not sad.
the more i say, the louder i cry.

she decided to help you because she saw your effort and your feelings,
things that i did not see because of anger that blinded me.

then, i saw your sincerity, your love, and the laying down of your pride,
how could i allow myself to continue clenching my jaws and holding on to the pride that hardens my heart?
i realised i can't. i can't.
you soften this heart of mine, i don't want to harden it anymore.
not anymore.

so now, it's determination and perseverance.
persevere to victory!
haha..
cheers to our love!
LoL.
;)

~i love you.
i know, i know.
my guy friends will tell me, "can't you give in to him a bit?"
my gurl friends will gasp and say, "he's too much!"
so what do i say...?
hmmmm...
can i just keep quiet and do nothing till i have something to say?
*twinkling big-eyed innocence*
hahaha.

amanda amanda..
tsk tsk..
maybe you're really not a gurlfriend material.
hahaha.
but why are you born so pretty?
nah...scratch that,
shld be: why are you so gorgeous?
hahahaha.

the diva is moody now...
too moody for anything..
for eating, for sleeping, for pak tor-ing, for crying, for laughing, for socialising and all..
maybe in mood for drinking(yummylicious, i love drinking!), relaxing and blogging.
put my focus else where..
ha ha.

where's my king nicky & prince dyl'?!
queen mandy is looking for y'all!!!
when are we all free?
let's go for a drink?!
yeah yeah yeah????
please darlings, please!!!!
LoL!
;)


~it's gonna be painful but in a long run,it's the best way.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

ok, before i say anything else.
i want to introduce this totally hawt book to all who wants freedom and their dreams fulfilled.
ta-da!~

DELICIOUS by Nicky Pellegrino.
it's a story of this young girl by the name of Maria Domenica.
young, beautiful and full of vibes and curiousity yet her life was confined
to her parents' house.
she was expected to live the life that was arranged for her.
but she has other plans.
she wants to see the world, fufill her dreams instead of slaving her life out.
one day, she ran away to see the world she longs to see.
few years later, she return 8 months pregnant, hastily married a neighbour boy she detest. but then, she ran away again to search for a new life for her daughter Chiara and her.
Many years later, it is Chiara, not Maria, who finds herself drawn back to her hometown - to the dusty little piazza, to the enticing aromas of the Caffe Angeli and to her long-lost family. But she soon discovers that the simple Italian life she seeks is not as simple as it seems - particularly where the past is concerned.
~*
i want to be Maria Domenica.
but i will not return 8 months pregnant, instead, i'll return with fame and make a mark for myself.
and most of all, my dream fufilled.
it's just that now i'm only 18, when can i have the ability to survive on my own?
let me know.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

my dreams. my youth. my time.

my greatest dream is to be a famous performance artiste.
if you want me to give up all dreams and choose only one,
this will be the one i choose.
sometimes i'm so tempted to seize the day and run away from home
and go all out to some other country where i can realise my dream.
sometimes i feel that i am losing my youth lustre, my years.
as if i'm wasting my beauty, my skills and my talent.
sometimes the passion in me is so strong, i have to curb it for fear it'll explode and stir up the impulsiveness in me.
i know the more i curb, and as the years pass,
slowly, cowardice and cynicism turn in.
i'm afraid the fire will cease and gradually somehow,
it'll be put out.
someone, something,
fan the fire in me.
fan it so strong that i can burn wildly.
so wild that i can melt everyone's heart.
today's my honey's birthday.
Happy Birthday to you, my honey dear!
;)
love you sooOoooOOoo much!
muackzz!
*giggles*

people around me think that i'm too high profile.
too diva-ish.
and oblivious and unobservant.
but i do not do it on purpose,
i just like to have fun and laugh so much that i just concentrate on enjoying them.
no evil intentions, no hard feelings.
really.

people know that somehow i emits that "aura",
cos nobody puts DivaBaby in a corner.

Monday, October 23, 2006

this morning he went to tioman to dive.
i woke up and i realised my heart went along with him.
i told my parents i want to go to tioman cos i miss him.
my parents thought i was crazy.
LoL.
i admit i am.
yes, i am.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

my mind is in a turmoil now.
i just need to see you really do something for me,
my heart will totally be there,
ready to integrate our lives.

people around me question me,
why is it that i did not choose someone who gave me everything?
why did i choose you?
people waited for me, did so much for me, give in to me..
yet i choose you.

people around me object, i go against their objections.
i STILL choose you.
got caught in the middle between my family and you,
still never give us up.

how come?
why?
you go and think.

Friday, October 20, 2006

yesterday i had a long day.
reached school at 8am for marketing class.
when i was in the lift, there was this weird man kept looking at me and smiled at me.
at that point of time i cant remember who is he, so i just smiled back without saying hi.
when i get out of the lift then i realised he's the man who fixed my laptop.
hahaha..

my honey came over during my lunch break.
LoL.
he look totally like a poly student lah.
felt so much happier after seeing him.
we went to bukit timah plaza for a drink and we chat.
then we walked all the way back to my school, under the hot sun.
but we're happy.
muackz!

then after my presentation skills lecture, jun wei tapped my shoulders and said "Yun Lei, it's been a long time since i last saw you. we'll talk one day yeah." and i agreed and show him my sunshine smile again.
i'm kinda surprised he came over and talked to me.
cos normally he's the cool cool handsome teacher..you know..

i went over to Sao Paolo Cafe to buy some food while waiting for louis to come and meet me.
guess who i met?
Stanley-my JiaMing BiaoGe..
i'm his WanJun BiaoMei..
LoL.
we always role play with each other lah..
funny right..hahahaha..
that's why i always get discount for the food i get there.
well, stanley came over to talk to me.
told him i'm taking marketing module.
his favourite subject i realised.
he taught me some stuff about marketing.
good huh..
;)

louis came shortly after that, then we saw "wins", he thinks that i look sweet and pretty eh.
hurhur...
*head swells*
louis and i took bus 156 from clementi to sengkang.
the journey is damn long lah.
louis ask me to catch some rest so i slept through the journey.
then we meet up with jocelyn at sengkang's Cold's Storage to buy the ingredients for our cooking and drinking session.
we took a cab down to jocelyn's cousin's (janice) house.
damn that cabby lah!
he gave that irritating attitude to jocelyn.
louis and i were so damn furitated!
dont know how jocelyn could be so calm.
GRRRRR!!!!!

when we reached janice's house, we start washing, cutting, chopping and stuff..
chef Ong(jocelyn) and chef Poh(louis) did most of the work..
i'm their personal assistant.
which means i wash the stuff..and when they say "pass me the tomatoes", i'll make sure the tomatoes land in their hands.
when they say"close the fridge", i'll make sure the door of the refridgerator is shut tightly.
i dont really know how to cook so i become P.A. loh..
but i sliced mushrooms and diced tomatoes!!!!
hahahaha..!
my friends are so proud of me, im proud of myself too!

then after dinner, we drank Smirnoff vodka and played some games.
i drank the most 'cos im the strongest drinker amongst them all.
all of them faces red so fast loh.
LoL.
got a hangover today, woke up with a headache.
but i went back to sleep and felt much better.

Louis, can start preparing for christmas party and my farewell party le lah..
sigh..

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

i'm back to school.
like finally.
it's great to meet my crazy friends again!!!
and my cute lecturers!!!
...hurhur...esp ray!!!
he smiled at me on my first day back!!!
then he turned to me and said "Hi, Yun Lei."
mwahahahahahaha!!!!!
ray, you know!! it's RAY!!!
all the gurls are crazy about him, we ogle at him during class.
LoL.

this semester i'm taking 6 modules.
-Global Issues
-Contemporary Chinese Language
-Interpretation
-Presentation Skills
-New Media (something like photography)
-Marketing
stress manz...but challenging and fun...i like...

Louis, tell me about it manz.
i'm 18 too.
i want to live the way i want too.
like you, i hope to go away also.
one day i'll fly away, we'll break free.
and we'll just get away from this freakin' place that caged us in.
one day...one day....

Saturday, September 16, 2006

okay, now i got some idea what to blog.
i realised i want to have a "MUST DO" list with my boyfriend.
muahahahaha. (too bad for you, now then i have this list.)
not happy with me? then don't be my boyfriend lah!
*giggles* never force you anyway. ;)

1. He must shout "I LOVE YOU, AMANDA TAN!" in front of everybody.
i know i'm crazy to suggest this, but it's me. too bad! LOL! ;p

2. He must learn how to build the rapport with my family and friends.
if he can do this, we won't face much objections. and and and..if we have a quarrel or i'm pissed with him, he can turn to my family or friends to ask how am i. i hope to do the same thing too, with his family and friends. boo! >.< v

3. He must take care of me when i'm not feeling well.
well...he did fulfil this lah. and it was really sweet of him to do so. he took me to the doctor and bought me food when i had high fever. insist i drink loads of water when i had sore throat.
sooooo, thumbs up for him on this one. hahaha! =)

4. He must do groccery with me and cook up a meal for him together.
yes, i admit i'm not very good in housework and cooking. but i will learn & we can cook together!
it'll be fun, i'm sure.

5. He must take loads of photos with me.
cos both of us are so damn good looking. if we don't take photos together, ain't it a waste?!

6. He must take me to some small, unique shops for food and shopping. explore every nook and corner of singapore.
buy some cute unique stuff, have some time to chillax.

7. We must understand each other have their own life and career.
we have to allow each other time to concentrate on career cos we're still so young.
just be with each other and support and care.

8. He must be honest with me.
whether he happy or not, like it or not, just tell me.
got a problem? spit it out.

9. He must sit on a BIG and HIGH ferris wheel with me.
and we'll enjoy the view from high above. if we can, we'll take a ride on a HUGE hot air balloon.
that would be even better! =)

10. He must LOVE me.
duh. just do it. *giggles*

hmm...guess that's all for now. if there's more, i'll add them into this list. lol. ;)
he must be amused by my list.
hahahaha..
hmmm..feel much better now.
love y'all.
;)
seriously,
i really have no idea what's wrong with me.
i guess it must be the long holidays that's getting on my nerves.
or maybe it's the things that have been happening all along.
gosh, save me.

actually i've got so much to say
but i don't know how to put them down here.
Gahh.. it's so tough.

forget it.

Monday, September 11, 2006

date: 7 Sep 2006
activity: drinking & merry making at Loof Bar.
participants: Art bro, Dyl dahling, Nic dear, Mx & moi!! ;)

me & Art. at dhoby ghaut station.

me with my SeaBreeze. high with drinks. hahaha..

me & Nic trying to be wacky with our drinks. ;)

me, Nic & Mx. trying to be funny..lol.. =p

Dyl & me. waiting for our food. staaarrrrrrving..

the group of us at Loof bar. Art, Dyl, me, Nic & Mx.

will post more photos when i have the time. that's all for now!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

long time since i blogged.
guess quite a lot happened recently.
good? not good? i don't know.
but they sure caused quite a few waves in my emotions.

i love him.
love him too much.
so much so that i'm scared.
that i'll lose him.

i know i can never give as much as she did.
she did a lot for him, she's just too good.

but if she comes back crying
and he returns to her, what else can i do?
nothing.
i'll just leave.
if he stops loving me
i know my love for him won't be able to stop instantaneously.
i'll just leave.

if it ever hurts
it hurts within.
no one will ever see.

BUT
i've decided to just take things as it comes.
trust rather than being paranoid abt stuff.
nothing i can do anyways.
so just TRUST and LOVE.
right?
yup, i'm right.
forget regrets.
live this moment as my last.
=)

Monday, August 28, 2006

^ "i'm a source of entertainment but i entertain everyone but you."
~ "it's ok, i'm a source of entertainment myself."
^ "no, i don entertain you 'cause i love you."

i was stunned.
really am.
not just the words, but the tone also.
yar, the tone from the heart.
i was shocked.
lols.

yesterday we had Fit For Christ in church.
captain's ball matches and soccer matches.
hey i made myself useful by helping out k.
hee..as the timekeeper. ;)
oo oh & as cheerleader too!
cheered for the guys.
lols. heh. maybe a lil' too loud.
we had fun yesterday lah.

but i got interogated by loads of people lah.
all thanks to *ahem*.
lols.
but heck lah, what can i do if people wants to gossip??
can't stop them can i?
anyways, i've threw caution into the wind
sooooo...like that lah.
don't want to think too much about anything.
;)

Saturday, August 26, 2006

exam finally over!
time for slacking now.
waiting for my J.D. slackers inc. to start workin' manz.
lol :P

to my dyl' darlin':
i'm so glad you found what you really want.
& if i'm your life's turning point, tell me.
just tell me wont you, let me feel good lah.
lols. kiddin'.
but i am really really really happy for you.
love you so much.

to my honey dear:
thanks a gazillionz for playing "Right Here Waiting" over the phone for me.
i love it.
i love you too.
yes and i admit
you melted my heart with that.
okay, melted a bit lah.
lol. ;)

i looked through my message folder now and then.
read your messages to me.
i smiled.
and then i paused and think.
i frowned.
but still,
i threw caution into the winds
and i smiled again.

FYI, wish you were here with me.
love you.
:)

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

so many things cannot blog.
like what ronnie kor kor say,
we bloggers will die of over-exposure.
& ronnie dear don't think you know what i'm talking about okay.
lols.
but i'll tell you one day.
one day when we meet up.

to my J.D. dahlings:
only you guys don't object to my decision.
only you guys know.
only you guys know my pattern & let me be who i am.
you guys loooooovvvvveeeee me yeah!!!
love you guys soooooo muchie.
-BIG HUGZ- ;)

revision week for C. mod Lit exam.
die la. must at least get A for mod Lit lah.
only module i'm good at this semester.
bah!

my cutie dahling and my precious dahling,
romance is in the air huh...
lols ;)
update okay!!!
lols.

*flying kisses to everyone out there!*
catch 'em, people!
hahahaha!!!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

sigh.
somethings are just so confusing.

i wish i was more sure of myself.
especially now.

i know it aint really the external factors that's stopping me.
i mean, though they are part of what's holding me back.
but the real thing that's stopping me is myself.

fun+feelings= ????

why am i holding back?
i also don't know.
just don't want to messed up my life, i guess.

i need to think through properly.
think gurl, think.

blah.
i'm just blabbering things none of you can understand.
only God knows.
lols. =)

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

i was in dramabox studio yesterday since 9 in the morning.
did loads of run throughs and technical runs.
but i never skipped my lunch k.
heehee. had green tea for lunch.
lols.
at least i took sugar drinks instead of plain water.
i'm gonna miss my drama lect ah liang.
i'm starting to miss him soooooooooooo muchie.
he taught us alot. but its always not enough time for acting and directing.
ah liang! we're gonna miss you!!!
make sure i see you in NIE kk.
hehe. :P

haha!
yay!! dahlings i finally get to see you guys again yesterday!!!
another pocket of memory to keep.
lols. ;)

okay, first and foremost!!!!
VIVIAN!
Happy Birthday to YOU!!!!
love you love you love you!!!

i really had a great time yesterday!
let me refresh who's present yesterday...
hmmm...nigel(my air porkey,lols.), chongyu( you caught my flying kisses! lols.), huggy dahling(weishan), cutie dahling(ling feng), bithday gurl(vivian), my precious dahling(marianne gurlie) and jocelyn mimi(my gr8 advisor) and of course, me(MandaTheGreat!). lols.

we had dinner at cafe cartel,
dahlings i dont mean to traumatize tt waiter la please.
i was just a tad sweeter when i get him to take my orders.
he's the one that's pumping his own heart that hard loh.
other waiters and waitresses don have that kinda reaction la.
not my fault k..
i stop le ma...after he got into trouble.
actually, i treat every waiters and waitresses the same loh.
to the female manager, i oso like that what...
bah...whatever.
lols.

then we all went sugar high and sing and take pictures.
after that we sent chongyu home with our flying kisses and huggies.
chongyu you betta appreciate us ok, so many gurls so good to you leh.
lols. k la don tease you le.
then we met donald and took bus 67 to D.P.
continue sugar high, sashay and sing then confessions and emo.
i guess i looked as if im drunk, i couldn't even walked properly.
lols.
but actually im just "sugar high" la.
my J.D. gang knows me style. haha!
lols.
i love you guys manz.
then my advisor gimme her opinions.
haha! oh ya & precious dahling said she was glad me, cutie dahling and her
are somewhat in the same situation now. ha!

Ooo..i love the last part,
i think this is the first time we do this kinda thg.
we all hug together and tell each other best wishes and how much we appreciate each other
and stuff like that.
so emo. :')
lols.
thankew guys for the hugs and kisses before i go home.
LOVE LOVE LOVE you all!!!
muackz!

took a bus home.
reached home around 12plus.
checked my mail and dom!
fell asleep without washing my eyeliner make up.
lols.
i was that tired.

Monday, August 14, 2006

RENT SOUNDTRACK- Take Me Or Leave Me

MAUREEN:
Every single day, I walk down the street
I hear people say, "Baby's so sweet"
Ever since puberty, everybody stares at me,
Boys - girls, I can't help it baby
So be kind, and don't lose your mind
Just remember that I'm your baby
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Take me baby or leave me
A tiger in a cage can never see the sun
This diva needs her stage,
Baby - let's have fun!
You are the one I choose
Folks would kill to fill your shoes
You love the limelight too, now baby
So be mine but don't waste my time
Cryin' - "O' Honeybear - are you still my my my baby?"

Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
No way - can I be what I'm not
But hey - don't you want your girl hot!
Don't fight - don't lose your head
'Cause every night - who's in your bed?
Who, who's in your bed, baby?
Kiss, Pookie.
updates for my dahlings!
J.D. peeps!!! i miss you guys!!!

precious dahling, all the best with u and F.
don end up like me and u-noe-who.
messed up. doesn look like, but it is.
dunno how to tell you,
will explain in details tmr nite at party.

cutie feng dahling,
u and J must make sure u both are v sure of the feelings u guys have k.
and make sure he's a good guy.
cos i nv see him b4.
tell him if he dare bully u, don blame me for being a bad gurl again.
lol ;)

i miss everyone!!!!!!!!!

nic dear!!!!! im so happy for you now you're married!!!!!
make sure u bring your dear to join us in bitchin' k.
lols.

dyl darlin' !! don get too stressed up over work k. love ya loadz.
u din update me abt your romance or flings or whatever it is now.
so sad. lols. dear don worry rmbr we're the B&F material.
we're gonna shock the world with that yeah!!!

lols. im so in the hols mood now la.
damn. lols. ;)

Saturday, August 12, 2006

i'm ALMOST done with my school assignments!!!!
only left with 2 assignments.
and that's Acting&Directing final project and MyPaper project.
O well of course my C. lit exam on 25th Aug.
but try my best lah kays.


my cutie juniors and moi! At NLB drama centre after watching "Stranger At Home". jeremy & Dyl darlin' are sooooooo handsome right! one's a cutie, the other's a bitch boy!

i miss my ol' gang! my J.D. gang!!!! i'm missing you guys!!! Gurlie my darlin' who's owiz dere, feng my cute darl, jocelyn my mimi, wak's darling, louis my poor boy who's been axed so many times by me, Kikiwi my shy boy boy, nigel u piggy ass and of course many many others out there who came and left, came and left and stayed. J.D. inc. when can we get 2gether again and do crazy stuff once more?!

also to nic dear and dyl darlin'! damn u boys! i miss bitching around with you guys! the Diva's calling for her NicDear and DylDarlin'!! & make sure we recruit MX in and transform him. lols! we must practise our art of bitchin' and flirtin' once again.

Gosh...! when the 2 months break is here, i'm gonna let my hair loose and have fun!!

Monday, August 07, 2006

though exhausted, im happy

All i can say is i'm now rushing assignments.
bahness!
i'm exhausted man.
but can't stop.
gotta keep running.
juggle church activities, work and family.
i'm really tired.
but i still enjoy life.
cause i love it.
muackz to all of you out there!
cause i'm happy!
;)

Sunday, July 30, 2006

best birthday ever!

okay i know i bloody well didn't blog for weeks.
guess i should update u guys about stuff that happened.

first and foremost, i was hospitalised.
yep mandy baby was hospitalised for one week.
anybody miss me?!
lols. =)
well anyway it was due to urinary tract infection and gastric infection.
basically, two weeks ago i was vomitting quite bad.
almost everyday, every meal.
so, my parents were so worried that they sent me straight to A&E.
the hospital people put me on drip and it was painful.
do you feel the pain for mandy baby...? Awwww..
days in hospital were dreadful.
and damn boring.
but good thing i have family relatives and my family in Christ to come visit me.
even my pastor came!
TWICE!!
lols. ;)
well and definitely God was there.
cos there were nights when i had pain in my gastric,
sharp stabbing pains in the darkest of nights.
i desperately cry out to God our Father.
really it was so painful that tears rolled down my cheeks.
God gave me peace immediately when i prayed
and eased the pain.
woah.
God is good.
Praise the Lord.
im well now, appettite is coming back.

today is my 18th birthday.
its one of the greatest birthday ever even though im ill.
yesterday i celebrate it with my family at swensens.
even though it was simple but i was happy.
cos the whole family is in harmony and peace.
and my birthday wish was to see my family leading happy and fufilled life,
in peace and harmony.
btw, i got a bracelet from marianne gurlie and angpow from my granny.

today i celebrated with my church family.
hohohoho!
got many prezzies.
a bouquet of lillies and a pair of earrings from remus, cake and card from the whole oikos,
chocz from raymond, cd from mel and abi, angpow from esther and jimmy.
and most precious of all, their company with me the whole day.
and allow me to be a princess for today.
loadz of laughter and food and God's love.

im contented.
i know this week's gonna be busy.
so will pull up my socks.
will chiong manz.
yay!
God loves me, i love Him too!
;)

Monday, July 17, 2006

God is really amazing.
'cause He gave me the ability to control my temper today.
Thank God His word gave me strength manz.

my momma was in a bad mood today.
don't know what the heck happened to her.
but she appeared really exhausted
and in a damn bad mood.

she came back start giving me dark looks.
then nag and complain about how lazy i am,
not doing any work.
but helllllloooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm doing my homework the whole afternoon.
then i took a nap after doing my assignments.

they are quarrelling now.
my whole family.
God help me.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

i'm feeling so slack.
haha.
i know my friends are going to kill me when they hear this.
they'll skin me alive cos they THINK i'm pushing myself too much.
but the problem is: i'm really slack lah. like totally.
lols.

MOVIE CRITIQUES!!!

i hate them!
they are never ending.
and i'm just at the fourth one.
still have six more to go.
bleah.
homework sucks.
BIG time.

never ending movie critiques, press release, evaluation report, feature article.
hmmm...
loadz of work to do.
but i don mind,
keep me busy and occupied.
lols.
cool.

overall i still love school.
especially ray and nan nan's lessons.
heehee...
btw, today we had ray's lesson.
and all the gurls were ogling at him.
he got loadz of fans, just that he doesn know.
haha.
totally cute.

life's great!
love y'all!
;)

Thursday, July 06, 2006

u can choose 2 rmbr but its best 2 forget

《偶然》

我是天空里的一片云,
偶尔投影在你的波心—— 
你不必惊异, 
更无须欢喜——
在转瞬间消灭了踪影。 

你我相逢在黑夜的海上,
你有你的,我有我的,方向; 
你记得也好, 
最好你忘掉,
在这交会时互放的光亮。

[徐志摩诗]



忘掉吧,忘掉!
因为剩下的只是伤。
你没让我心碎
是我自己一手造成的。
让我经历咸水的洗涤
吸收了再释放
让我累,让我睡。

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Hsu Zhi Mo, love you!

我 等 候 你 [徐志摩诗]

我等侯你.
我望着户外的昏黄如同望着将来?
我的心震盲了我的听。
你怎还不来?希望
在每一秒钟上允许开花。
我守候着你的步履,
你的笑语,你的脸,
你的柔软的发丝,
守候着你的一切,
希望在每一秒钟上
枯死——你在哪里?
我要你,要得我心里生痛,
我要你的火焰似的笑,
要你的灵活的腰身,
你的发上眼角的飞星;
我陷落在迷醉的氛围中,
像一座岛,
在蟒绿的海涛问,不自主的在浮沉····
喔,我迫切的想望
你的来临,想望
那一朵神奇的优昙
开上时间的顶尖!
你为什么不来,忍心的?
你明知道,我知道你知道,
你这不来于我是致命的一击,
打死我生命中乍放的阳春,
教坚实如矿里的铁的黑暗,
压迫我的思想与呼吸;
打死可怜的希冀的嫩芽,
把我,囚犯似的,交付给
妒与愁苦,生的羞惭
与绝望的惨酷。
这也许是痴。
竟许是痴。
我信我确然是痴;但我不能转拨一支已然定向的舵,
万方的风患都不客许我犹豫--
我不能回头,运命躯策着我!
我也知道这多半是走向
毁灭的路,但
为了你,为了你
我什么也都甘愿;
这不仅我的热情,
我的仅有的理性亦如此说。
痴!想碟碎一个生命的纤微
为要感动一个女人的心!
想博得的,能博得的,至多是她的一滴泪,
她的一阵心酸,
竟许一半声漠然的冷笑;
但我也甘愿,即使
我粉身的消息传到
她的心里如同传给
一块顽石,她把我看作
一只地穴里的鼠,一条虫,
我还是甘愿!
痴到了真,是无条件的,
上帝他也无法调回一个
痴定了的心
如同一个将军
有时调回已上死线的士兵。
枉然,一切都是枉然,
你的不来是不容否认的实在
虽则我心里烧着泼旺的火,
饥渴着你的一切,
你的发,你的笑,你的手脚;
任何的痴想与祈祷
不能缩短一小寸
你我问的距离!
户外的昏黄已然
凝聚成夜的乌黑,
树枝上挂着冰雪,
鸟雀们典去了它们的啁啾,
沉默是这一致穿孝的宇宙。
钟上的针不断的比着
玄妙的手势,像是指点,
像是同情,像是嘲讽,
每一次到点的打动,我听来是
我自己的心的
活埋的丧钟。


我爱徐志摩!
浪漫的诗人,相信着恋爱,美与自由!
内心知道元配张幼以对他的好,
心中一角深爱着初恋林徽音,
最后用一生守护着吸大麻的陆小曼。
志摩啊,志摩!
为何我没缘当您一辈子疼惜珍爱的陈韵蕾呢?
唉。。。爱!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

pissed then emo. what's next?

i'm so friggin' pissed now!
guess what?
i was in school waiting for 8 hours for NOTHING!!!
Arrghh!!!
i was in school for 8 hours waiting for the Ngee Ann Friends thingy.
we all thought it was a talk but it turn out to be an award ceremony.
when we reached LT26, we stopped in our tracks.
stunned followed by embarassment.
everyone's dress code was formal.
F-O-R-M-A-L.
and what's OUR clothings like?
spaghetti top, jeans, denim skirts and slippers.
how to go in?!
well, my lecturer did NOT explain the event as well as the dress code to us,
IN ADVANCE!
soooooo...
too bad! we decided to leave instead.
i'm friggin' pissed cos i wasted 8 hours in school,
with some bloody cramps!
gahh!

on my way home, i took bus 74 to Dover mrt station.
manz, i shouldn't have done that.
i saw this guy wearing maritime uniform walking towards me.
gosh! i thought it was him.
i was almost sure my heart skipped a beat.
started to breathe really deep and hard, cos memories came flooding back.
sweet gazes, waiting for each other, journey back home and then the hurtful words on his blog.
sigh.
you know, when i saw that nautical guy at Dover just now,
for one moment i really thought it was him.
but then, he was out at sea,how could he be at Dover?
haah. totally foolish of me.
however, im alright, really. no worries kays.
i told Gurlie i'm not gonna get involved in relationships.
at least not now.
too troublesome lah.
blame it on my inability to handle these kinda relationship loh.
lols.
but seriously, no relationships for me.
not now, not in the near future.
yupz, why choose BGR when there's peace in the making of friends?

being a SHE

Gahh!!
i sat through my chinese lit test this morning without bawling and pulling of my hair.
well,
but there was cramps.
im the descendant of Eve, what do you expect?
but that's not the point.
the point is the test was not as difficult as i expected.
THAT itself was a relief.
now i'm supposed to wait till 6pm for some kinda Ngee Ann Friends talk.
don't ask me what it is cos i totally have no i-de-a.
yea, suppose to do some work but i'm just too lazy to do it.
having cramps, u know.
lols.
okay, i know that's a uber lame excuse but just got no mood to do lah.
sad right...?
-nodz-
bah-ness.
will do later lah.
now i'm just going to "enjoy" the fruits of being a descendant of Eve.
what else to do?
its not my choice to be a She.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

jus random thots

wheehee!!!
finally i finish the dumb presentation on news article analysis and 1 of the 7 movie critiques.
still got C. Lit test on tues.
-BAWL!!-
MaMmEEee!!!
feel so slack, cannot cannot.
must rise up!!!
lols.

hmmm...feel like telling papa Raymond that even though there's some slight hiccups
during worship, i still love it.
n i believe God love it too, cos He looks at our hearts not what's outside.
raymond, Jesus loves u & i love u too!

i just want to thank God sooooooo muchie that He gave me so many good brothers and sisters.
Alvin, debbie, kevin, remus, clanna, sze ting, abi, chuan, raymond, daniel, cheryl, mel, shasha, esther, jimmy, pastor mark, jeanie monkey, vis, kat, vern, yvonne and marianne darling. aiyo, if i missed out any others im sry but tt's becos i've got limited brain storage.
lols.
still gotta say, i love all my brothers and sisters!
love y'all! ;)

Sunday, June 25, 2006

i think i got the answer!

recently i've been praying hard,
for a dilligent spirit and to hear PaPa talking to me.
but it's so difficult to attain what i want.
i've been slacking a lot in my studies,
and it seems so hard to hear from Him.

yesterday night i did my quiet time,
then, i prayed and tried to listen to the Lord.
well as you can read, i tried.
but i guess i was impatient and limiting the way God speaks to me.
so in the end i couldn't take it and collapsed into slumberland.

this morning when i was having breakfast with a sister i sort of complained to her.
i told her i was trying very hard to listen to PaPa.
then she jumped up and said,"No wonder God gave me this word yesterday!"
and she told me that yesterday night when she was doing her quiet time,
God said"Be patient and hope in Him. though He is quiet, He has a lot to say."
so i guess i should be patient and have a open mind.
not limiting God in revealing Himself to me.
and so i prayed.

at the same time, i was praying for a direction from God too.
guess i knew my heart's desire.
but i need a confirmation from God.
so happily and eagerly i went to service.
the sermon was great. it spoke to me.
and somehow it answered my prayer and gave me confirmation.

i prayed for direction right..
i knew my real desire goes all the way back to the time when i fell deeply in love with Jesus.
and God gave me a confirmation when Tom Richardson spoke about evangelism,
He was nudging my heart and gave me the names of a friend and my cousin amos.
i knew what i really wanted to do.
i wanted to do more than reaching out to these 2 people.
i know i want to put all my heart and soul and mind in for Jesus.
so, i've decided what to reject and what to reach out for.

yep, and i know for sure when i reject that,
its not gonna hurt.
cos greater challenges, joy and treasures are waiting for me.
thank you Lord for revealing, love You PaPa!
;)

Friday, June 23, 2006

don slack anymore!

Now it's 1230 in the morning.
should be sleeping but unable to get to sleep.
reflect upon what happened today.

actually felt kinda lousy that i didn't manage to finish my script analysis this morning.
sigh.
and a few more movie critiques to go.
i'm getting too slack.
BUCK UP amanda tan!!
u can do it!
JiaYou!! ;)

ahh...gotta go talk to Big PaPa now. update u guys more tomorrow.
love y'all! ;)

Saturday, June 17, 2006

my studies my dream

i guess it's time i do something about myself.
you know, yesterday i was thinking.
what if i couldn't pass my poly life? or NIE?
or what if i can't make it to DHL(Directors' Honours List)?
yes, you got it, i was afraid.
really afraid.
i need to pick myself up and do some serious studying.
yep, no more slacking.

i never really wanted to be a teacher.
well, u ask me why i chose this path?
hmmm...'cause my momma and i both agreed that being a teacher
has loads of benefits.
what i really want to do, is to be an actor.
a real famous one.
and one that's not afraid to show her work.
even if it's politically incorrect.
lols.

yes, that's what i really want to be.
but no worries, after my 5-year bond with MOE,
if i have the ability and if God allows me,
i'll leave the teaching line.

for now, i need to focus on God and my studies.
yep, that's what i'll do.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Arella looked at her mother's back, she felt a gush of venom flood through her veins.
i hope you know that i hate you. i really do.
you are just like the rest, just like the rest.
Arella clenched her fist, her face emotionless.
there's no spirit in her eyes.
people say that eyes are the windows to the soul, but you see nothing in Arella's eyes.
only a bottomless pit.
into Arella's ears flowed her mother's cold and sarcastic remarks,
she tried blocking them out but they just won't go.
worse, they shot right up to her brain and hooked themselves onto it.
O poor Arella!
She's a confused warrior fighting a battle in herself.
Arella turned her head and went into her room.
she kept her mouth shut and started writing with her thoughts.
Narrowed her eyes, she saw the messy, anguished scrawlings on the walls of her mind.
they made her delirious, she felt the strength in her pen increased.
the sharp tip of it scratched the walls and blood oozed out.
she looked at the crimson pool and heaved a sigh,
and let the pen fell onto the floor with a clank,
Arella slid down and found herself on a block of ice, exhausted.
she laid down and fell into a deep sleep, it's time to freeze my heart, soul and mind.
keep me in a cold ice coffin and bury me under heaps and heaps of snow,
now, let me rest in peace. For i am tired.
Never! Arella O Arella, you think people around you will let you rest?
O ho ho! NO! they'll push you and toss you and make you work till you are nothing to them.
even when you're exhausted, as long as you're of value to them, they'll drag you to your feet and make you work! work! work!
Let me go! O please, please! Arella gave a long scream.
Let me die! for i do not want to live like this! i don't want... i don't want...
darkness flashed before Arella's eyes, her breath was robbed from her nostrils and her lips turned a shade of purplish black.
it was the best ending for Arella, she finally found her window of release.

Monday, June 05, 2006

我还是人么?
我觉得自己像个空壳体。
我似乎知道自己在做什么,
不过,不知为何要这样做。

每天走过回家的路上,灵魂却不知在哪儿。
身边的人都变得模糊不清,好像我与环境隔离。
我做很多事,但却不知道为什么,
为什么我在那么的拼命。
是因为我到了事业与学业的瓶颈了么?
或许我生活也到了瓶颈。
每天把自己该做的都做好,
似乎没什么问题对吧?
可是,我却觉得生命的意义不在了。
我只是一台机器,是死的。
除非,我能找到生命的“为什么”。

更令我诧异的是,我在看别人或事时,
我是那么的感性、情绪化。
看到老人我会鼻酸、怜悯,
看到小鸟受伤我会心疼,
看电影我会哭、我会大笑,
看到小孩儿我爱逗他们笑。
不过,当我反省自己的生命时,
我却一点情绪都没有,
好像心已陷入麻木的状态了。
什么感觉都没有,一点都没有。

为什么?为什么?为什么?
我生命的“为什么”到底是什么?
不愿再想,就此搁笔。
因为我知道总有一天,我会找到答案的。

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

i miss him

i miss him

i miss him

i miss him

do i love him?

i don't know.

maybe i do, maybe i don't.

so?

i'll wait and see.

but waiting hurts.

and it hurts a lot.

sigh...

Saturday, May 20, 2006

okay, haven't been blogging for days.
cos im really damn busy with my school's projects and assignments.

sigh...how many times must i tell guys that when i say no, it means no!
i don't want any relationship means i don't want any, alright?!
there's 2 choices: be my friend or just shut up and go away!
it's as simple as that! why can't those guys get it?!
i don't like guys (doesn't mean that i like girls either), just that i like myself more.
moreover, im attached.
to JESUS!

last few days i just met a stalker in school.
a guy whom was courting me but i rejected him.
he just wouldn't leave me alone.
he was standing at one corner peeping at me when i was eating with my friends, he didn't leave until my dad came to get me.
PLEASE!!
its scaring me. and i felt disgusted. TOTALLY!!! :(

arrghh!!!! hate it!!! to guys out there:
if u can't accept rejections please don't come to me and tell me u like me. DON'T try any moves on me!
*tries to calm down*
okay, i can treat u like a buddy or friend but never a boyfriend.
get it? good, u guys betta do!

on thurs i had 2 unpleasant dreams.

1st dream: my friends and i, we're in a room. there's a puppet stage in the room. we sat in front of the puppet stage. there was this hooded figure on the stage. it was scary and its not moving. i was a lil' irritated by the fear that was in me. so i decided to do something bizzare. i took down e huge clip from my hair and threw it right smack at the face of the hooded figure. it moved.
my drama teacher was shocked but he led the figure down the stage to me. my teacher came and said,"pray." i stand and pray in tongues when the figure came near. i was almost shouting and spitting the prayers at the figure. it stepped away from me, as if in fear. i continued shouting and praying in tongues, i couldn't stop until my teacher yank my arm and said"okay, enough. he's gone."
and u know something, in the whole process of my dream i was speaking in tongues. as in i could hear myself speaking in tongues in reality, audible tongues, i could hear it but i couldn't stop myself.

2nd dream: my friends and i, we're in this room, we're in a mission. i guess we just finished and we're gathering in the room. seems like we're waiting for a leader or something. then, a man came in. he announced the names of people who could continue to live and serve. but my name wasn't in the list. at that moment fear gripped me. then disappointment came, tears rolled down. one guy interceded for me, he said,"take amanda along. she's a good girl." the leader looked at me and frowned. then he nodded and say okay, since someone interceded for me.

the moment i woke up. i had loadz of questions in my mind. somehow i know there's something i need to discover from the dream but i just had no idea what it is. until during oikos, when kevin lead us with the impromptu songs.
somehow i was proud that i stood up against the hooded figure and that ultimately the power of prayers scare him. however, i wished i had stood up against him in boldness instead of in fear. so during oikos worship, i prayed and ask for boldness and courage from God that i may stand and fight my enemies, fight the devil.
when we sang "THANK YOU FOR THE CROSS" , i was thinking in my second dream, did i come to discover the cold hard fact that im afraid of death? or did tears rolled down because i wasn't chosen? this, im still trying to figure out. but i saw a similarity in my dream and "judgement day". it was as if everybody is in front of God, who He wants to rapture, and Jesus interceding for me. i felt a warm urge to thank Jesus. thank him for interceding for me in God's kingdom. even now, when it's not yet rapture day, but He's still up there loving me and interceding for me.
then, something in me reminded me, the groom might come anytime, be prepared. anytime, anywhere.

i dunno whether what i conclude was right, but it just gels with me. like it just comes to me naturally. like someone gave me a "ding" inspiration or something. but i learnt and discover much from my dreams.

okay time to sleep, im tired.
love y'all guys! ;)

Sunday, May 14, 2006

7 children? *raise an eyebrow*

okay u must be wondering what's with my title.
nope, it has nothing to do with mothers' day.
okay, maybe mothers' day is the thing that ignite it.

first and foremost, i must say a BLESSED MOTHERS' DAY to all mothers cos mothers are wonderful creatures. they are love, peace when ur scared and in trouble, naggers when u dont eat or make your own bed, they are beings who will not give up on their lil' ones.
so mothers, we love y'all!

okay, back to my "7 children" story.
my church gave out carnations to all mothers today.

u know, i like flowers(esp lilies). so i commented,"i want carnations too."
then, my friend says" carnations are for mothers la."
i replied,"okay, i like lilies."
my friend went like,"good, we shall ask pastor tay to open up e sanctuary and i go get a lily for u."
(u see,there's lilies at the pulpit today & im e youngest in my cell group, so everyone treats me like a sweet lil' baby sis)
& e story goes on. here comes pastor walking towards us.
my friend: eh i ask ar.
me: no! don't!
friend: pastor, can open e sanctuary, i go get a lily for her.
*im beside him, refusing.*
pastor: yar, sure. give her on my behalf. *turns to me* may u have e lily and have 7 children.
me: *traumatized* 7 children?! No way! i NEVER want to have children!
pastor: why not?! children are blessings. some want to have also cant. 7 children is good.
me:*went bonkers and started to laugh my head off, continue to be traumatized.*
friend: look at her face. 7 children, my goodness, harrassment.
pastor: what harrasment?! children are blessings.*pat my friend's back* eh, the government say that if u can afford, have more children! 7 children!
(*step on brakes* wait! hold on a minute! is pastor trying to say my friend n i are an item? *sm1 knock me on my head* doh! u idiot! that's what he's trying to imply!)
me: oh no!!! pastor! it's not what u think!!! no! *every1 laughs at me! hmph!*
pastor: huh? u two, *points at my friend and i* no relations??? u mean, u guys are not an item?
*another friend commented"they look like hor.."*
me: no!!! pastor! we're not!!! just brotherly love!
pastor: oh..hohoho...sorry sorry...thought u guys...hahaha!
my friends and i were laughing so hard.

hmmm...but 7 children. i don't mind having if i know how to educate them and if i can afford to raise them up.
one thing for sure that changed me when pastor talked about 7 children(even though it was a joke), was that i don't think children scare me anymore. just that when i think about work, i just cant change the mindset that children and work cant merge together.

7 children...hmmm...lols.. ;)
*smilez to myself, shake my head.*
interesting.
love y'all. ^,^

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

whoa!
im tired.
really really exhausted.
busy with homework and HMS stuff.
blah!
*headache...eyes hurt..*
MAMEEEEE ar!!!!
pain pain eh *pout*
lols.. ;)
bah-ness.
i just cant stop working. muz work one, if not will feel uncomfortable.
so work loh.
yawnZzZz.....
will blog more when im free.
love y'all.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

昨天早上到了学校才发现没有戏剧课,因为阿亮失声了。生了一场大病,后来就没声音了。
不过,我就成了他的播音器。他说什么我都得帮他重复给其他学生听。
呵呵,真好笑!
阿亮太可爱了!
后来,大家一起和阿亮吃早饭。
我们正谈论咱们的老师们,大家都谈得很疯。
阿亮没能力说话,听我们的对话,自己受不了,也一起笑起来。
阿亮,你真的很可爱嘞!
我觉得阿亮有他的魅力,我喜欢他的思想,还有他笑的时候眼皮皱起的样子。
超可爱!!!
呵呵!天阿!我真是疯了!

今天是投票日,我到想看看谁会是下一个四年的执政党。
大选这段期间,我跟新闻还跟得满紧的。
虽然还不能投票,但我却对政治人物所说的每一句话、每一个举动都特别敏感。
从来都没有那么关心国家大事的我,因为这次的大选,对国事突然有了另一个态度。
对国外国内的新闻都非常的感兴趣。
我突然有一种想对政治和媒体有更多了解的渴望。
觉得自己跟父母谈论政治和社会时,感觉自己好像成熟了。
不再是那个对时事一点都不在意的黄毛丫头了。
看到父母投票时,我告诉自己,下一个选举,我将好好的决定自己要谁来领导我们的国家。
下一个大选,我有权投票!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

开学后好累哦!
每天都有功课,不过我高兴。
我喜欢这个学期所读的几门科。
还有人文系学会的活动要忙,看来我这学期又要少睡好几晚了。
唉。。。
没关系,我过得充实就行了!

每个人都会死。
今天我看了中国电影《洗澡》,电影里的父亲最终死了,儿子才发现原来自己一直没有好好的关心父亲。那时,太迟了,父亲都过世了。看了,眼泪便在眼眶里打滚。
谁知,回到家,我大哥告诉我在他学院里卖西餐的大叔前天过世了。
我不禁惆怅,人最终还是要走的。
叹了口气,觉得好多事都不是自己能掌控或避免的。
人生;一场戏、一场梦、一场空。

没别的要写了,
除了袁四爷对程蝶衣说的:
一笑万古春,一啼万古愁
等等,我可要加上:
唯独我拥有。”

Sunday, April 30, 2006

okay, i know i shouldnt be here blogging,
at such a time.
but i just gotta do it.
i must say a humongous [SoRRy] to my readers that i dint blog for such a long time.
cos im damn busy with freshman orientation camp planning.
though the planning is tough and complicated,
the results is damn fun la, like totally!
my freshies and leaders all uber HIGH!!!
lols..and we all got very dirty.
mud, flour, butter, soap powder, water, icing sugar, perspiration etc..
BLEAH!!
but FUN!!! =)
woohoo!!!
my freshies all high and active.
i like!!!
school started, new modules, interesting electives, handsome n cute lecturers.
school life is kinda fun.
im gonna climb back up to director's honours list.
my goal for this semester.
just came back from dinner with my ol'gang.
with my gurls and guys and gurls' boyfriends.
all very sugar-high. then we trace back our secondary life.
lols.. ;)
make me laugh.
im really really really happy.
really.
love y'all, don give up on life, its fun!

Monday, April 03, 2006

yesterday i was dressed up like a typical funky arts school student..lols..
sweetie complimented me...heehee..
;)
i want to thank you sweetie, for the special gift and the exceptionally touching message u gave me..it was a total surprise for me..and when i was viewing it i was grinning in front of my laptop la..
my momma thought i was crazy...but she was glad i'm happy. she knew i was laughing from the bottom of my heart.
so sweetie, really really really a BIG thank you to you. -bear hugz-

yesterday's msg was good, pastor talked about intimacy with God and the topic on Forgiveness.
how do we move on without forgiveness...?
how do we unite in Christ with divisions among ourselves?
how are we going to experience breakthrough as the Church of God as well as in our own personal lives if we harbour hatred in our heart?
forgiveness...
its a hard lesson yet its one of the most important one..

i feel so naked when i face the knowledge that God looks into our heart.
we can hide nothing from Him.
He sees us inside out.

i read this article by Rev.Samuel Doctorian, its called"The Visions of Five Angels"
its about Doctorian's visions...they are about the End Times...
they were all bad news..
one line was this 'The Lord said,"The final day has come. Judgement day is here. My love has been refused, now my anger has come."'
i felt sad, i cried when i read it.
why sad, u ask me..?
i dont know..just an overwhelming feeling that came over me...
sigh...
i'll try to post it when i have the time yea..

guess i'll end here..i have nothing to say..
my brain cant work now..i need some sleep...
havent been sleeping very well nowadays..
nitez guys...
^,^

Saturday, April 01, 2006


just look at the hole on my big t-shirt, i look like a beggar..ever see a pretty beggar?
well, here's one..lols.. ;)


stop taking! im trying to sleep!& im FAT!!

im now reading up on the topic of bullying.
this book called "The bullied, the bully and the bystanders".
it's interesting and scary at the same time.
i mean, kids and teenagers commit suicide because of being bullied.
i feel i should do something about it, well, at least try to understand the different roles of the bully, bullied and the bystanders.
i realised i've been the bullied(when i was in primary school),then i was the bully(in secondary school, not a very bad one but still...) and now i'm a bystander(trying to help not join in the bullying).
i like this book, im gonna buy myself one(cos i borrowed from the library).

小师妹,真的有那么多事情令你不满意么?生活有什么不好的?生命有起有落,坚强潇洒的面对嘛。何必怀恨在心呢?让自己那么的痛苦。。唉。。。师姐劝你以乐观态度面对生活,赠你两个字:原谅。
Sometimes we get what we need and not what we want..........
Once there were 3 trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the 1st tree said, "Someday, I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems and be decorated with intricate carvings. Everyone would see my beauty."
The 2nd tree said, "Someday, I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of other world. Everyone
will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."
Finally, the 3rd tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up
to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time, and people will always
remember me."
After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. One came to the 1st tree and said, "This
looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter," and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he
knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.
At the 2nd tree, one of the other woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree. I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The 2nd tree was happy,
because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.
When the woodsmen came upon the 3rd tree, the tree was frightened, because it knew that, if it cuts down, its dream would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree, so I'll take this one," and he cut it down.
When the 1st tree arrived at the carpenter's, he was made into a feed box for animals, placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for.
The 2nd tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The 3rd tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark.
The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams. Then one filtered day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth, and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.
Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose, and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and
said "Peace," and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.
Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets, and the crowd mocked the man who was carrying it. Finally, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill.
When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as possible, because
Jesus had been crucified on it.
The moral of this story is that, when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts.
Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined.
We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.
i hope this passage could inspire more people. Sometimes the heart sees what the eyes can't.
GOD BLESS . . . . .

Friday, March 31, 2006

love languages

The Five Love
Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Receiving Gifts.

Complete set of
results

Words of Affirmation: 12
Receiving Gifts: 9
Physical Touch: 4
Acts of Service: 3
Quality Time: 2


Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Thursday, March 30, 2006

my brother came home from bangkok last night.
he totally went on a shopping spree manz!
he bought a lot of things, A LOT!!!!
and he bought 2 t-shirts and a dress and a flora handbag for me!!!!
yay-ness!!! Thankew brother! =)

about "saying what's honest" issue..
people just want to hear what is pleasing aint it so???
what if i am honest?
can relationships between people still be as smooth as they were?
i dont know you know...

nowadays im so emotionless(as in the soul not the shell),esp during car and bus rides or on the train.
im so free that im doing a lot of reading and thinking.
issues that never occur to me before now sprout in my mind
it keeps my mind working but i dont know what is it going to do to my heart.
is something wrong with me? its as if im so....WEIRD.

and im getting fat. i hate that.
i hate long holidays and no work and no school.
cos i eat and rot at home and get fat like nobody's business.
i hope school starts soon, stress and work and workshops this way comes,
and i'll slim down.
and i want to start some dance and exercise in order to slim down.
by end of my 2nd year in poly, i must REALLY slim down
so that when i go to China,Zhejiang in my 3rd year i can fit in the cheongsam there.
heehee!!! good good...muahahahaha!!!
;)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

im did some thinking.
im starting to wonder who i really am.
i mean, yar, i know im amanda, a child of God etc etc.
but who really am i inside??
there's so much aspects of a person, which one is the real me?
i appear different to different people under different circumstances,
does it mean that i'm faking?? or hypocritical?
i really dont know u know.
i want to write something real, whether good or bad, hate or love.
i just want my writing to be real, to be me.
will i be able to do that?
and at the same time be what others want me to be?
and also be what Father wants me to be?
it's messy.
ignore my ranting.
i'll continue to meditate.
yeah yeah i know i owe my readers a post on the explanation of my visions.
well, go read proverbs 28:1.
the righteous shall be as bold as the lion.
i told you guys i faced persecutions from my loved ones right...?
but still i made a stand for Jesus.
making a stand for Jesus and going against the ways of the world will land me in a war with the devil.
i need boldness and courage to fight this war.
as for the arch, sweetie says in ancient Rome, rulers will give permission to the army who won a battle to build an arch as a symbol of victory.
well, it may be saying ultimate victory we'll get after battling with the devil.
pastor mark says he honestly have no idea how to interpret, but it could also be the glorious presence of our Holy God.
as for the wings...i guess its telling me not to be afraid, for the Holy Spirit will gimme peace.
yeah...
i think im very into writing nowadays.
writing out my feelings is like so much better. i mean, as u read, it feels real.
cos i guess sometimes we numb our hearts so much that we cant really feel.
so writing makes things real.
gotta go for dinner now.
till later then!
okie i know i shouldnt be here at this hour blogging.
but, i just cant sleep after drinking that cup of hot lemon tea.
bah-ness!
hmmm...
maybe i should tell u guys about the visions i saw on sunday, during service.
during worship, i saw this arch exuding a lot of light.
the arch was surrounded by a lot alot of clouds and mist.
the feeling was so magnificent, grand and glorious.
so wow-ed!!
then i begin to doubt myself, i dont know whether its my imagination or is it really God trying to tell me something cos at that time i havent figure out the visons i saw.
during the word released i opened my eyes and i saw a pair of wings flying super fast across our screen where the words"Jesus Is Lord" is.
the feeling was at rest and peaceful.
after service, i went to pastor mark and told him about these and my lion vision.
then he sort of enlightened me.
hehe...want to know....?
tell u later in the morning.
im tired now, want to sleep.
;)

Saturday, March 25, 2006

u know i think im gettin' a bit firritated by my meditation in my cave.
okay, not a bit, but A LOT!!!!
gahhh!!!!
im like voraciously reading, writing, dancing and blogging.
other than that, im like rotting at home.
:
:
:
a poor gurl being adopted by an influential politician.
then earning fame and loads of $$ being a political courtesan.
exemplifying her dazzling personality, striking up witty and philosophical conversation with political leaders of many countries, bringing wealth and peace to her country.
we'll see how a mild twist of her waist, aggressive walk and a batt of eyelashes cause men of all ages to trip and mesmerized.
behind the mask of this influential figure(queen and leader of fashion and personality), how does she handle her own family, friends and her scandal-filled life?

this is my rough idea for my bubbling story...its in the cauldron bubbling..*broop broop broop*
will continue to develop ideas and details..
im excited im embarking on a glittering journey of lavish and darkness.
woohoo!

okay, gotta go shower, will be back later.
:
:
:
okay back from showers.
did some thinking in the showers.
(my momma must be surprised it was so quiet, cos most of the time i'll be singing praise n worship songs..heehee..)
i got some details for the intro part of my story..
great!
will be writing soon.
lols.
cool, im a genius!
lols! ;)
just came back from the airport.
sent my brother to the airport, he's gone with his friends to bangkok.
though my parents object to his decision of going, he still went.
he's kinda stubborn when it comes to hanging onto his freedom.
like brother,like sister.
lols.
though i am worried for his safety,over there at bangkok,
i thought it was pretty exciting to go there, especially with the political situation there now.
i mean, in the midst of the chaos and all.
he'll get to see what we cant see in Singapore. real life and up close.
raw and tribal.
cool!
but i will pray for his safety, God will send His angels to guard my brother and his friends.
God will protect him.
embrace it, believe it.

yesterday we had combined oikos in church.
the speaker was Dr Andrew Goh.
during worship, i had a vision.
an image of a lion's head appear and disappear, appear and disappear.
it was looking at me.
i felt boldness and excitement.
i felt like im going to fight a war, adrenaline rush.
but i dont know how to interpret the vision.
well, lion could be good or bad rite..?

hmmm...is it God telling me to be self controlled and alert cos the devil is prowling like a devouring lion..?
or is it the Lion of Judah telling me to be bold cos we're fighting a spiritual war...?
or is it smthg else..?
i really have no idea, ya know...

ahh...will ask pastor tomorrow.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Take this test at Tickle


You're a Pampered Traveler


Four-star hotels. Shopping sprees. Fine dining. For you, traveling is all about indulgence. Leaving the comforts of home doesn't mean leaving your love of luxury. In fact, you probably take advantage of and enjoy the spoils of a vacation more than most.
Admit it, you like the finer things in life, especially when you're rewarding yourself with a getaway. And you know that giving yourself a few special treats will make the trip more memorable and worthwhile. So go ahead, order the dessert, relax with a massage, unwind in roomy first-class seats. That's how you savor the experience. Ahh...

What Kind of Traveler Are You?



Take this test at Tickle


Your signature color is Golden Sunrise


No doubt about it. A vivacious, positive force like you needs to be represented by a color that warms up any room. That's why Golden Sunrise is the perfect color for you! There's nothing bland about you — in fact many would say you're a lively presence at any gathering! And speaking of gatherings, few are complete unless you can at least make a cameo appearance, spreading smiles, laughter, and sunshine in your wake. People can't help but light up when you walk in a room, which is the secret to how you get so much done in a day. Your sunny disposition makes you a pleasure to do business with, and that's why you're so good at making the world go around — at least your little corner of it. Nice work, Sunrise! So keep spreading those rays wherever you go!

What's Your Signature Color?

Thursday, March 23, 2006

OMG!!
what can i say..!?
salsa lessons are getting more and more fun!
i'm learning more steps and dancing more!
today's lesson was great!
though i crossed my legs once in a while, but dancing with guys who knows the steps are cool.
i mean, guys who lead you on the dance floor.
they are all average looking, but their ability to dance is their charm.
Oh my oh my!! Lols.. ;)
can't stop grinning after salsa lessons.
cause it was really fun, and the guys are leading and decisive.
in salsa, the guys lead the gurls.
so for once in a while, it's refreshing to be led.
lols ;)
conclusion: guys who can dance are charming, charismatic. i like..! ;p
my feet hurt but i think its worth it.

nah..don get me wrong. i just find those guys charming.
but definitely not as boyfriends.
cos im hungry for God now, not boys.
i used to be boy-crazy, even man-mad.
but now, im God-hungry.
and i will ever be. >_<" v

love y'all! =)

Monday, March 20, 2006

colour quiz

colour quiz http://www.tallrite.com/LightRelief/colourquiz.htm
score: Red-28, Yellow-27, Green-2, Blue-1
profile: Directing-Socializer [the enthusiast]
You are exuberant, bubbly, and well spoken. Your warmth and charisma are natural magnets that attract others. You're so persuasive that you could sell a stethoscope to a tree surgeon. Prestige is important to you and so you seek status symbols. You're also good at cultivating contacts and have a network of people you can call on for virtually anything.

Directing - Socializers love being spokesperson or presenter of new ideas, grand initiatives, and noteworthy projects that spur people emotionally appealing to their hopes, dreams, and fascinations.

Your tendencies probably include:
* Seeking and enjoying status symbols
* Admiring people who express themselves well
* Disliking routines, slow pace and needless details
* Being comfortable delegating as well as taking charge
* Exuding a positive, enthusiastic, outlook on life
* Being persuasive and inspirational
* Trusting people and giving them a lot of latitude

Your growth opportunities

With tasks: You focus on the big picture and keep moving from one new opportunity to the next. As a result, you might not fully understand what's involved in accomplishing difficult or complex tasks.
You can significantly strengthen your performance by:
* Showing more commitment and follow through on key tasks
* Trying to be more analytical thinker and listener
* Stay current with changing know-how

With People: Try to be less impulsive, especially when a low-keyed approach is more appropriate, such as during conflict or negotiations. You can also help yourself by working more closely with people with who are task oriented.
* Make use of daily planners, calendars, checklists and other proven practical tools of becoming better organized i.e. Four Point Plan Drill and START Observation Card.
* Be more cautious about moving too quickly or over promising before jumping into relationships.
* Develop the serious, non-entertaining side of you personality by studying how to improve your skills in analytical listening, conflict resolution, and decision making.



try this! its fun!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Living Life To The Full

The more u give
the more u get
the more u laugh
the less u fret

the more u do unselfishly
the more u live abundantly

the more u love
the more u'll find
that life is good
and friends are kind

for only what we give away
enriches us from day to day

Come on 24 march, 8pm @ Bethesda Cathedral[Joseph Hall]
Dr Andrew Goh is going to speak on how to live our lives to the fullest!
come and be blessed!

The Lord who walked with me in my yesterdays
will walk with me through today and all my tomorrows!
ok, i just finish doing QT.
so, well, decided to blog some stuff.
i guess now God is putting me through this period of "set apart" and purifications.
cos im facing a lot of temptations but im trying my very best along with God's help to resist.
also, im facing some persecutions and doubts from my close ones.

my family and i went for supper just now at Jalan Kayu.
i didnt know how but the topic that sprout out was about pastors being rich.
well, my family said pastors should not indulge in luxuries.
i do agree, but what then do you count as indulgence in luxuries?
also, through this heated argument i discovered that some of my momma's thinking is kinda wrong.
my brother commented if pastors are seen being rich or indulging, congregation will say that pastors are being materialistic.
i dont know, u know.
i mean, why cant pastors be rich? just as long as they dont indulge in luxuries.
and when their material things are being taken away(like Job in the bible),they should not feel unfair or curse God. i think its ok that pastors are rich.

well, this discussion also led us to another topic of how i feel about my family not going to church and their attitude toward God.
i mean, they are neither hot nor cold.
they say they are christians, but did they communicate with God?
my momma says she does pray to God when she need something, not only on $$ terms but also for strength.
i told her you dont talk to God only when u need something from Him, but also thank Him and praise Him and tell Him u love Him cos we have all the reasons to do so!!!!!
i told them(my family), being a christian is having a relationship with God. we talk to Him and listen to Him. be still and hear His voice.
i told them we can hear Him through the bible,through a sermon,through a prophecy etc.
i ask them are they reading the bible? they kept quiet.
reading His word!!! it's the basics! how do we know His heartbeat if we dont read His word and communicate with Him?!
mayhap i was a little too emotional when i confronted them, but i was glad i did.
cos i finally got it off my chest.
and i also told them about speaking in tongues.

Ahhh..im really happy i said something about my relationship with God.
especially to my loved ones.
i want them to understand, to know how much i love Him.
cos Jesus gave me life.
its always the toughest when your loved ones raise doubts and persecutions.
i'll continue to be a witness for Him and show the world that He loves them too.
bring the Good News to the world.

i love Him.
Cos He loves me too, even more.
And forever.

Monday, March 13, 2006

ha! lovely sunny afternoon.
Now taking a break from work.
been working my butt off, typing my momma's reports.
kinda exhausted now, mayhap i'll take a nap later.

i realised im so not into B.G.R nowadays.
i mean, im like so immune to guys now that i dont even give them an extra glance.
and i dont wish to have a bloody relationship with any bloody guy either.
i just had this new realisation that im taking God even more seriously now.
i mean, im like holding on to Him as if He's the air i breathe.
like...uh..He's the only person who can gimme life.
i want Him more than any other thing.
weird huh..? i dont get it either.
i mean, i dont know why i became like that. it's so sudden, but then again, it's not a bad thing either, yeah..? yeah..*nodz*

life is good.
my life is great. funtastic!
which means-fun AND fantastic.
though sometimes i get into trouble, people hurt me, me hurt people, or sometimes i get grumpy and rant like a mad woman, Jesus is always there to hold me and gimme hope and love.
He taught me to look at life from the bright side of life.
He gave me my dearest family members who loves me as their precious(tho' sometimes they could be kinda protective).
He gave me my gang of friends who brought me fun and craze!
He gave me my family in Christ who brought me joy, delight and laughter,and prayed for me in times of trouble.
He gave me a house to live in, financial assistance, peace and joy in my heart, blessings, even trials and testings to mould my character.
Most importantly, He gave me breath and strength to enjoy all these.

how could i continue to complain and grumble when life is filled with all these He had given?!
how could i not praise and worship Him when i have all the reasons to do so?!
so, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

The Potter's Hand
Beautiful Lord wonderful Saviour
i know for sure, all of my days are held in Your hand
crafted into Your perfect plan
You gently called me into Your presence
guiding me by Your Holy Spirt
teach me dear Lord
to live all of my life
through Your eyes
i'm captured by Your Holy calling
set me apart
i know You're drawing me to Yourself
lead me Lord i pray
take me
mould me
use me
fill me
i give my life to the Potter's hand
call me
guide me
lead me
walk beside me
i give my life to the Potter's hand.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

sure wonder where i've lost myself in these few days right..?
everyone misses me huh?
hahaha! just kiddin' la.
wednesday Prayer and Praise was great!
God talked to me, God was there with me.
His presence was so overwhelming and woosh!
i cried cos His presence was so strong in my heart.
on thursday, i went for salsa lessons. told you guys i want to upgrade myself yea
n yep, i did it! i went for salsa lesson number 1.
i love it!
i mean, i love learning something new!
guess i might be taking up yoga soon.
see how things go along.
today i was out with gurlie darling.
she had some problems with Mr.C, uh huh..
but i was there to talk to her.
so eventually, she sees things in a different perspective.
my impact is huge eh! hahaha! =)
love ya darl, and i definitely had fun today! hee!

Ahhhh...life's so good.
God is so good to me.
He never leaves me.
and im so glad He was there to hold my hand though i was down,
and almost in trouble! oops! -stick out tongue-
yea..well...i love Him, really.

nowadays got so many wants...let's take a look at my wish list.
(though i don expect u to buy them for me*hint hint* but i just want to organise my thoughts, you know...)
  • a daily devoution book
  • a pair of strapped high-heels
  • salsa music CD
  • nachos with cheese & mustard sauce[okie,this is a craving]
hmmMMmm...that's all for now i guess. if there's anything else, i'll update u guys!
hahaha! ;)

Monday, March 06, 2006

hols are officially here!
like duh!
don feel like working this hols.
just want to do something i like
things that i wouldn't get to do when im in school.
like learning how to salsa, or work with a drama group or smthg
maybe pick up some course to upgrade myself.
learning is never enough, you know.

gurlie commented singlehood rocks.
well, true enough, singlehood rocks big time.
but, sometimes just need a companion.
some1 to 陪伴.
that's why we have the "players" group.

to ronnie dear: 很多时候,我们都会觉得累了。需要休息。就停一停,歇息吧。
你的改变总会有人看得到。不要自责,你需要的是反思与分析。if u need me, im here to lend u my shoulders.

enough said. im ranting. need some rest myself.
wam wam click! shut down.

Friday, March 03, 2006

finish my C. lit exam yesterday.
bleah!
exams' not my thing.

sigh jus wan2 jump in2 bed
gimme some good sleep.
love ya guys!

love ya darling gurl, my bestest fwen!
& thank you for the lecture on "playing"
hahaha!


guys out there, here's "the return of the queen of the world"!!!
bah-ness! hahahaha! ;)



well, time to jus relax & get myself ready for oikos. tata~

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

woohoo!!!
had a great day yesterday.
celebrating feng's birthday!
i had fun creating havoc manz!
lol =))
yesterday had too much glucose, went "sugar rush"!
hahaha!
was like a madwoman, drunk and having fun.
woosh!!!
here are some of e photos. still waiting for more!
wheehee!!


darling gurl, me in pink, nig in red hair & joce in white. we're crazy fools, but we're having fun!


wah liew! Nigel! u betta be honoured ar! both ur ex here hor! hahaha! & we 3 are good fwens, bestest fwens manz! can u believe it?!hahaha!

Nig & me. trying 2 rekindle ol'flame? NO WAY! we can only play. ha!

silly pin wen. don act shy la. it was jus a k***. muahahahaha!

i LOOOOOVVVEEEE dis pic la!!! best one of all! pin wen looks charming in dis. shuai dai le!! T_T my dear, am i gorgeous?? hahahahaha!!!!! ;p i had soooooooooooooooooooooooooo muchie fun!!!!!


jocelyn took this when i was waiting for e gurls to get out of the toilet. paiseh la, was tired from all the havoc ma..i exudes dis sensual feeling eh..? hahahaha! all thanks 2 jocelyn who has good phtography skills! thks gurlie!

i really had fun yesterday night. its been a long time since im lidat. u guys brought back ol'school memories manz..love ya guys!! =)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

tomorrow night.
24 Feb 2006.
8pm.
@ Caleb room, Bethesda Cathedral.

we'll start this time of continuos W.H.O
A time to seek His face,
lift our voices
& sing His praises!
Come, join us in Worship Him Only!
Non-stop worship, not to be missed!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Veni, vide, vici. - "i came, i saw, i conquered."
-Julius Caesar.

"while some people make theatre, we all are theatre."
-Augusto Boal.

前卫剧场,也可以是个提供观众沉思的地方。

人生就是戏。

Anton Chekhov or Constantin Stanislavsky? Comedy or Tragedy?

"The first and most important master [is] feelings..."
-Constantin Stanislavsky

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Ahh...how i love theatre!!!!
i want to go back to theatre!
my love for it has been revived!
the fire of theatre!!! thaw this love for you, this special love in me, buried once but now revived.
oh yes!! yum yum! drama, here i come! [throw my coat & sashay]
hmmMMmm...Voila!