cant believe im missing my darling...he's just gone for like 14 hrs only..n im missing him tt much.. *sob sob*
what shld i do if he's out to sea next year...? ='(
BOO HOO HOO HOO!!!

did nothing much today. supposed to go to the doctor but dint go in the end. slept through most of the day..was so bored..sigh...sianz...
guess i seriously have nothing much to blog abt..uneventful day..i betta get lost b4 i start grumbling again..hahaha..!

all of us in musical...one BIG family...

haha..still acting aft e musical ended..

oh manz..i'll miss this musical tt we all put together.. "Coming Home", i'll miss you..
we had so much fun rehearsing, practising, putting on make up, doing up our hair..hahaha..!
i'm glad there were 10 rededication of lives and 11 salvations on tt both days of musical. i hope the musical would never end..i just got to know them..the youths..the people involve in the musical..n of cos my counterpart--devil James!! hahaha!!
i LOVE "Coming Home" !!!!!!!

i received a lot of prezzies and cards from my brothers and sisters...haha..esp Jon, thanks a gaZillionz for the pair of wings..will treasure it..hahaha..! [a pair of wings for memories] so sweet ritez..hahaha!

Guys and Gurls! Have a Blessed Christmas! Jesus, i love You!!

yesterday was piang-ing my lyrics analysis essay la..like totally my own opinions..LoL!
now chiong-ing my writt comm essay. it's like so darn difficult!!! i mean even with my outline and consultation done. oh manz..i don want to disappoint Patrick Wong aka "pat wong". Pat wong is the best lecturer manz..! like duh! so many ppl will agree with me la. haha! Pat wong! Yeah!
felt so much betta after knowing the truth and telling out my truth. it's like being released, set free. -takes a deep breath- Wow..cool! so happy now! haha!
okay, muz continue to chiong my writ comm essay le.


-nodz- we must pray about it yea..?

my baptism

all of us baptised on 3 dec 2005.we share e same bday! Lol!
i'm baptised on 3 dec 2005!
on the confession of my faith, the presence of our Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, i'm baptised!!!
wooHoo!! i'm so happy manz! totally jubilant!
my baptism verse is John 10:9
i LOVE it!!

jus now i had consultation with my lecturer.
hmmm, now then i realised he's a teacher.
i mean, i didn't know he notices his students strong and weak points until today.
well, we had a good talk. and i have to thank him cos he surely did brighten up my day.
thanks a gaZillionz, jun wei lao shi!

God, gimme strength to press on in my studies as well as my school activities. thank you Lord Jesus. i love You! Amen!

my baptism!

today i'm gonna be baptised!! wooHoo!!!
later at 3pm, i'm going to baptism sevice. it's gonna be the death and burial of my old self and the resurrection of new life in Christ Jesus!
heehee...i'm so happy!!
O well, nowadays i'm busy but everythg is going on fine. God helped me, He gave me strength. now, i'm supposed to do a lot of planning and organising of activities, quite a few major projects in hands (plus the load of my hmwk), i hope to do it according to God's will and not mine. i pray for God's time and strength, not mine.
after baptism, i'm going for christmas rehearsals. rehearsals will be until 9pm. maybe tiring but definitely fun. cos the Joy of God is in us!
yep, gonna prepare for my baptism now!

these photos are taken yesterday when we went to dramaBox. we waited for ah liang to finish his workshop. these were taken in front of dramaBox office. haha! farniez ritex! we wait until very bored, almoz stoning already. so decided 2 do smthg silly. ha!
den we did human sculpture. yes, right there at pagoda street. haha! alot of tourists took photos of us. and many stopped to take a look at us. ha!
we had fun!
oh today is danny yeo's bday, so well, JunWei, Happy Birthday!! =)

Goofy

Which DISNEY character are you most like?
brought to you by

Strawberry

Which FRUIT are you?
brought to you by

i went to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire yesterday. sneak preview.
this time there's many humorous scenes, very interesting. everyone in the cinema burst out in laughter. lol!

but of course, there's scenes that are very touching, made me cry. especially the part when Harry brought Cedric's body back from the graveyard. the delirious state when everyone will be when their loved ones die. sigh...

life's busy. will blog more next time. >_<" v

26 people saved yesterday!!
during good neighbours' day!!! woohoo!! i'm so filled with joy!

today i was busy. busy with school work and chss stuff. discussed some activities with yuan zi.
realised we really have a lot to do. O well, by God's strength not by myself.

feelings crossed my brains like teevee wires. many thoughts and opinions. about people, lecturers, dreamz, future, everything. every single thing i see, i will develop thoughts about it.

my journal is filled with my silly thoughts. but i love reading them. this minute i wrote them down, 3 hrs later when i read the same entry, i smile at the way i think. ha!

oh yep, yesterday afternoon, i went for youth service. i guess i could say i had fun, i get to know more of them. they are really different from previously(when i last saw them, which is like last year.) i could say they've mature but they still need guidance.

well, gotta go! family time!

yep, yesterday was really fun!!!
cos we had oikos!many laughter and sharing. also,　yesterday before tutorial start, mavis and i had a small caregrp. we did praise and worship and word ed.it was edifying and encouraging. felt recharged after the whole thg.nway, i'll be keeping a written journal in chi, so i'll write in eng over here.(mostly) haha, we have to be bilingual u noe...btw, i found out the meaning behind the chi names of my oikos members.all beautiful names.i'm gna tell them, make them feel proud of their chi names.haha! cool! will end here, gg to church tmr.will be serving as befrienders for good neighbours' day. gotta slp early, nitez peeps!

me in claz, after jun wei's lecture. can see tt i'm darn happy ritez..?ha!




i look forward to tomorrow.

cos.....................it's O-I-K-O-S, oikos!! which means household.
yay! we are one big family!! haha!

i'm so happy! oh yea! i'm so happy!

okay, today i'll keep it short!

but i still gotta say he's shuai dai le! orhz!!!

busy busy busy.

my life. that word is used to describe my life.

no, add another word will be better. fulfilling.

busy yet fulfilling.

i realised i'm willing to walk the extra mile because i find joy in the things i do.

i like christmas rehearsals, barnabas ministry, baptism classes, talking to some of the youths( i felt like an older sister when i'm with them!), school and going out with students from zhejiang university city college( ZUCC).

i know i'm gonna be really really busy this whole semester. but no worries, i know with God, everything will be OK!!! >_<" v

i read my bible last night, the verse that came to me was
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
.....For when I am weak, then I am strong.
no matter what persecutions or insults or difficulties we faced, God's grace and power will always be sufficient.

lastly, i just want to say, in this past few months, God taught me the lesson of humbling myself. to let go of my pride and ego, and He opened my eyes to much more knowledge and lessons of life. i thank Him for that.

i lOve HiM aLwayS. =)

我终于回到校园！

上学的第一天就忙得不可开交。

但是，我好高兴，感到充实。

不再有那种失去生活中心的感觉了！

我想这个学期将会非常非常地忙碌，

但我一定会把它过得很充实。

不管是在学业或中文学会，

我都一定会加油努力！

还有，对于教堂的活动，我也会尽心尽力，

把荣耀归给我们的主！

阿门！

hey hey hey!!
i got a new layout for my blog!!
hee hee...my brother helped me with it. no, to be exact; it's he who did it for me.
we both got the same design, just different colour. u can visit his too.
www.angloarthur.blogspot.com
hehe...cool. i'm happy today. though a lil' exhausted from yesterday's school lecturers, meeting and entertaining some students from zhejiang university and a whole day of rehearsal today.
though busy, i'm feeling contented. very! talk more l8r, now it's dinner time!

let me serve You Lord

[Breathe]
You are my God
closer to me
than the air that i breathe
all that i am
formed by Your Word
i'm made in Your hands

captivated
by Your beauty
falling deeper in You
Breathe into my soul
Spirit of God
fill my life with Your presence
hide under Your shadows
dwell in Your secret place
it's You i long to know

You are my song
in my darkest night
i will sing of Your dawn
all of my days
You fill my life
with mercy and grace

everyday of my life, i will wait on You
in Your presence my heart and strength renew
every moment i live, i will worship You
You've saturated my soul my heart flows
rivers of living waters.

manz, i love this song! btw, i'm glad to announce to you that i'm gonna serve God in the Befrienders' ministry. i'm gonna be a *Barnabas* well, basically,i'm an encourager and befriender. making the newcomers feel comfortable and loved. =)

Let me help you, please.

Arella stood there, looking around.
where the hell are you, Jaron?To think you are making me wait. Arrggh!!!You better pay for....
"Hey! Arella the Great!"a voice came from behind.
Arella rolled her delicate eyeballs and a smile spread over her face. she turned back and got the greatest shock of her life.
"Oh my Jaron, you're so..."she let her sentence trails away. so thin, just look at your sunken cheeks. something must be wrong.

"so what?" Jaron frowned.

"so...so naughty!! u made me wait for 10 minutes you know!! i don't care! you better pay for ice-cream later!"Arella laughed.
something is wrong, his eyes. i dont see the sparkle in his eyes anymore. oh my, Jaron, what is happening?
"ok ok. no prob! it's nice to hear your laughter again! like the good old days. ha!" Jaron smiled, looking far away. Arella turned to look at Jaron, tell me darl. what's wrong? dont smile, i know something isnt right.
"hey look at these masks! cool! look at me, now you see me, now you dont!"Jaron teased as he played with the masks.
Arella frowned. She could feel her heart beating against her rib cage, the anger building up inside. She clenched her fist and took in a deep breath.
"STOP IT!! "she screamed, snatching away the masks. "stop putting on a mask in front of me ok. stop pretending everything is ok, will you? please..?"
Jaron looked at Arella, blinked twice and froze. in fact, at that very moment the air between them was so tense that everything seems to have frozen. even time.
His face crumbled and broke into sobs.
this is the first time i see him tear. Jaron, my dear Jaron. Tears start to well in Arella's eyes,
she pulled Jaron into her arms.
Let me help you, Jaron. Please.

我要

最近不是吃就是睡，不是上网就是看电视。闷死我了！我知道，能读一读文学史，但是文学史。。。呃。。。不是很有趣嘛！

啊！！！！！！！！！！！

我快疯了！！！

我要写散文但是却很懒惰。

小蕾，振作啊！提起精神，自由地挥笔、尽情地写吧！

我要写作。我要戏剧。我要热忱，我要名声！
我要。。。我要。。。我要。。。

－倒头睡着了－

Salt Of the World/ Jae Darl

i have so much to say. but now i'm stumped. words just can't flow through my hand. arrrghh!!!

a while later....

i realised i'm having fun in baptism class. though sometimes i'm sleepy cos i dint had enough sleep, i like baptism class! i realised i'm learning new things every week. i start to look at my life and things with a different perspective? like i'm new! Yar..!

Oh ya! & yesterday's worship service is totally WOW!!! on fire!! like...VOOOM!!!! haha! i know my description is a bit weird but it's that joy in my spirit during worship,like someone has punched the YAYHEY!! button in me. haha!
yesterday's word release was cool! it just grabbed my heart & gave it a nudge.
word released: "You are the salt of the earth. but if the salt loses it's saltiness, how can it be made salty again? it is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled by men." Matthew 5:13. be the salt that preserves your brother spiritually. Are we functioning as salt in our society?
before i got this word, in my heart i was worried about my cousin cos he's facing a lot of spiritual problems. when i got the word, my first thought went to my cousin, i know i have to help him even though we're not EXTREMELY close. so i sought help from my oikos leaders and now, i guess i should be able to approach him...? yeah, i need faith and boldness. faith in God who will use me to help others and to glorify Him.

chat with Jae Darling yesterday. he's not in a good psychological state. but i hope i brightened up his day. or should i say night..? arrggh!! whatever! anyway, we had fun chatting. ha! he told me someone who like him was jealous of me cos she thinks i'm trying to get fresh with Jae Darling. that's like so amusing la. -burst out laughing- i don't deny Jae Darling is smart, handsome, cutie, mature and humorous. [yes u are, jae darl. don argue!] jae darl will owiz be my dearest brother and *bf*(our lil' secret!ha!)

jae darl, i'm really really grateful that ur owiz there to help me when i need you. i hope u will allow me to help u too. cos now i really feel so helpless. i want to help you. maybe a movie? drama?dinner? whatever that can cheer you up. remember u have me here to support u! Love ya loadz! >_<" v

actually i still have alot to say on the Salt of the world topic, but i think i will talk about it tomorrow cos now, it's FAMILY time!!! =]

christmas rehearsals

looks are deceiving.

i thought jonathan[jonathan from my church] is an arrogant guy who keeps to himself and thinks i'm weird. but after today's christmas rehearsal, i realised maybe he's isn't that bad. well, maybe the part where he thinks i'm weird is true cos even i think so myself. ha!

phew! rehearsals are tiring....but fun!!!! haha! michelle has high expectations, and i like that[though sometimes i might go oh no!please don't make my life miserable!]. but well, in that way we can improve ourselves and do a betta job and glorify the Almighty One.

sometimes, i feel weird. out of place. i don seem to belong to any group. i don belong to the youth. so whenever i'm with 'em i tend to be very quiet. dunno what topic to discuss. when i'm with the young adults, i can talk with 'em but still, it's all about school stuff & all. i think those will bore them. so...well, i think i need to reboot my mindset to suit every1s'. now rebooting. haha.

gonna heck care about everythg rite now, i jus wan2 read my DragonLady & my ChaYeDan book. then proceed to read my chinese Lit guide books. ah...alot of reading & writing. & organising activities for my CHS peeps!

God lead my way, please. i need You. let me shine for You, Lord.

you know, i know it's not a good thing getting into a depression state.
but what the hell is wrong with me??

like i will know.
if i knew i wouldn't be so friggin' pissed off with myself.

i need to write.
to let my thoughts flow from my heart to my mind to my arms and through the pen onto the paper.
ooh...just imagine that process...cool one.

write write write. read read read. yep, that's what i will do.
my remedy for my freaky mindset.weird.

我不知道要写些什么。

只是有一种要宣泄感情的冲动。

BLAH!!!!!!!

我快疯了！！！

抓狂！！！

让我睡吧。。。

蕾，就睡吧。。。

焦点

我现在一点思绪都没有。

不知该为中文学会办一点儿什么。

咳。。。

我依旧地思念着茶叶蛋。不知为何，希望能快些儿见到他。

我需要学校或中文学会或一些事，需要它们让我为它们烦恼、为它们奔波忙碌。

我需要让自己忙碌，要不然我会失去我的生活中心。

我不想整天闷在家。

i will drown if i have nothing 2 hold on. Gimme my focus.

manz...why do i always attract gurls...? haha...jus kidding la...we're all playing a fool. muahahaha!
after pei pei, qiu ling's next. haha. ok ok...don worry ok. we're not really kissing.
only this is successful. ha! no la, we dint really kissed. jus trying to play.
try kissing pei pei, she jus laugh her head off. & i burst out laughing too!
the vice president and president of CHS society, we did our job! time 2 have fun!

the thorn among the roses...ooh....ouch..! pricky eh!! haha!
after outreach we went for "brunch" den on our way 2 play and enjoy!!

outreach at marsiling sec 28/9/05. had a gr8 time! woohoo!

our first chs outreach at marsiling 28/9/05

迷上他

你们俩又和好了。我就是喜欢这样嘛。

真是的，让我紧张了一整晚。咳。。。

惨了啦！我这次真的真的迷上了茶叶蛋！

真是无知的我！

怎么可能会有结果？

蕾，放弃吧！别每天都想着茶叶蛋！

这不是跟随感觉的时候。对吧？

不想面对

让我有一点儿宁静时刻，好不好？

能让我精神不要那么紧张吗？

为何你们俩要吵架？

难道连我休息时都要搞得鸡犬不宁吗？

为什么?!为什么?!为什么?!

所以我宁愿在外头，让自己忙得不可开交。

让自己不停地忙碌，这样至少我不用面对你们。

你们之间的火药味。

别怪我自私自利，忙于自己的生活。

让我有自己的一片天，那是我的避风港。

那时花开

那时花开
看着在我手掌里的刀片一划一划，像雨点一样打在我左手上，我似乎感到伤口上的痛，但又好像被心中的麻木给淹没了。鲜血直流，我却一点痛也感觉不到。所以，我不停的割、不停的割。血流成河，我心开始颤抖，心急下就用舌头把血舔干净。那是一种铁锈的味道，一点咸、一点涩。心中的那朵花谢了，我的灵也枯萎了。
一个人，两种生活道路。我像是变成两个人了。在我自己的房间里，手腕和刀片总是吻合一起。在学校或外边，我则是那个忙碌又爱笑的女主席。可怕的我！我已失去我自己。
为什么会这样？我不知道。我只知道我一直感到一股压力在我背上，我扛得好辛苦，好累。这股力量绑着我，头疼得要爆炸，使我呼吸时，异常费力。只有割我自己，看着血不停地流，我的重担才会搭着血球一起溢出。那隐约的痛，是我呐喊的声音。我不敢让别人看到那道丑陋的疤痕，因为它显露了我隐藏着的秘密。
我不敢想象若我父母看到的话，反映会是怎么样，心情会是什么？我想他们一定觉得我很笨，不顾虑他们的感受。他们也一定会感到失望，而我最怕看我父母失望的样子。那死人般的沉默，又尖又刺，把我的全部剖开，使我感到羞耻。
没有人看到我承受不住的压力，没有人看到我内心的伤口，更没有人看到我手腕上的疤痕。直到有那么一天，我的戏剧老师 — 杰，他对我说：“蕾，你不觉得累吗？过着两种极端的生活，你得做两个不同的人。”
我沉默不语。
“你骗得了别人，骗不了我。把书包里的刀片交出来。还有把衣袖都拉上来。”
我并没有追问他是怎么得知我自残，只是乖乖地照他的指示去做。毕竟他是我的师父，应该听他的。当我把袖子拉上时，我低着头，不敢正视他。我感觉到杰的身体在抽搐。我抬头一看，他把头传向一边，眼泪正在眼眶里打滚。他呜咽，因为我 — 他最疼爱的学生不自爱。
“对不起。”我小声说道。
杰凝视着我；把我拥进他怀里。顿时，我觉得在背上的重担轻了许多，就好像杰在和我一起分担，替我支撑。我感到一种解脱，眼泪情不自禁地落下。杰轻柔地说：“哭吧孩子，眼泪会是一种慰藉。”不。杰，你的眼泪才是我伤口的慰藉、你的拥抱才是我重担的释放。
杰的眼泪湿润了我的灵，使我的灵苏醒。他的拥抱喷淋了我心中的花园，使我心中的那朵花再次盛开。

我写了许多文章，最爱这篇了。因为它震撼人心。
郭老师说有点儿可怕。哈哈！
写这篇文章的意义是要提醒大家：你自残时，你身边的人会比你更痛苦。因为他们只能眼睁睁地看你伤害自己。他们会觉得自己没用、无能为力，不知道该怎么帮你。所以，请不要那么自私，不要让亲友那么痛苦。

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Your Hidden Talent

You are both very knowledgeable and creative. You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential. Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them. As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

CHS out of FMS

the teachers did so much to bring us out of FMS. pls do give dis plan[entering sch of humanities] a chance.

out of FMS, we will have more independence. with more independence i mean: having more funds, facilities, much lesser limitations on media resources and we can adjust our curricirlum to fit students' interests/needs/career prospects.

if we continue 2 stay in FMS, we will not only be treated like 2nd class citizens, we will also be stifled and if we want to change modules 2 fit our interests, we need to cross much hurdles.

i need the media track pupils to understand that we do all these for your sake as well. in fact, we did consider ur interests, dats why we made dis decisions of moving out of FMS.
this plan will shine, if every1 is willing 2 co-operate.

i know all of u wan2 be respected, we will inform u guys officially. pls do not worry.

perhaps, as a president, i really did not do enough for the media track pupils. but be rest assured, the teachers did and still do. so once again, i urge all of u 2 give dis plan a chance to prove itself. [of course, we do need ur co-operation as well].

O well
if you weren't present at our meeting on 5 sep 2005
u missed my big stress performance!

Yes! i lose my cool in a very cool way!

imagine me speaking as if i'm uber irritated and the next thing you know i'm out of the meeting room.

where did i go? one corner to cry out my stress.

after that, i dry my face and walk into the meeting room again. our meeting continues.

cool,ritez?

i was so sick yesterday. take note: it's SICK not ill. which means i feel like PUKING!
yes, i felt like puking. don't know why, perhaps stressed and tired.

today? well, i dyed my hair today. it turned out....gorgeous!!
as long as i like it, who cares about your opinions? -turns my head loftily-

holidays, finally!
been very busy and stressed out the last few weeks.
finally, one semester over! but i'm gonna miss my drama & theatre lecturer--kok heng leun. he's one of the best teachers manz! i've learnt loadz of things of theatre from him, hope that if i'm taking elective i can be able to take drama & theatre.
cos he'll be teaching! heehee!
now what i'll be busy with are chinese society and christmas musical rehearsals.
see, i can never stop! ha!
thanks a ga-zillionz for caring, Jae! you're the best! >_<" v
i think i'm gonna be ill...flu and sore throat...mwahhhhh!!!!! so angry!!! i don wan2 be ill!!!
this coming fri still got BBQ at sze ting's sister's hse...just think of those delicious squids and kebabs and chicken wings!!!!!! mmm...yummy!!!
hee...k la...i shall end here. gotta go write my script for my chinese society.
buh-bye! =)

stress & busy.

bleah!!!
homework piled up like.....[wads more humongous than mountains?]...well, like....whatever is huge/tall & stressful.

not much time 2 blog. jus write 2 make sure i'm still sane. yep.

i think w/o Jesus, i might have collapsed.

Festival Of Praise

Festival Of Praise rAwkzZ!!!!

queing up for f.o.p was really tired cos all of us were sweating & smelly & squeezy...we're drenched b4 we even started the worship.

but all was worth it!

the worship was POWERFUL!!! i felt so lost in His presence. i do not care what my neighbour or the people in front of me were doing...i just worship Him in my way. i don't want to leave that worship, NEVER! but my parents called & i have to leave. so i left 20 mins earlier.

F.o.p gave me another insight to my spiritual walk with God. it's like, when God was magnified in our worship, i felt that everything in this world is soooo much smaller compared to Jesus.

i want to put rlsps aside. i know very clearly that it's Jesus i want. so that sunday night when i reached home, i told God that i want Him, my love i give to Him & i prayed that He'll jealously guard this love.

i'm gonna rise up & fight the battle for The One i love, side by side with Him i'll fight the enemy!

So Jesus, take all of me. & all i have i give to You.

我读几米作品-观后感

安全人生

天际，
悄悄张开一面巨大的安全网。
但荡向云端的狂热。却渐渐熄灭。
我想在天空里飞腾穿梭，
享受难得的刺激，
请暂时忽略我身体的安危，
关怀我心灵对自由的渴求。

-几米《我的心中每天开出一朵花》


《我的心中每天开出一朵花》里头都是几米的绘画与一篇一篇短短的轶事。当我读到安全人生
时，感同身受。因为我渴望的就是自由。我要做我想要做的事；没有任何约束。但很不幸地，我
有病，所以家长都限制我很多。

给我自由吧！不，应该是把自由还给我吧！就让我在原野上疯狂地奔跑，展开我的翅膀向天堂高
飞远走。真希望父母能暂且不顾我的健康，看一看我心灵深处渴求的是什么。

我说的只是“暂时”。因为我知道没有健康的身子，就不能享受生命的刺激。所以我一定会复原
的！

对我来说，人活着就应该敢爱敢恨。人生只有一回，一定要享受每一个情感，每一段过程。想大
笑就笑吧，想哭泣就哭吧！>_<" v

my birthdate

Your Birthdate: July 30
Your birthday on the 30th day of the month shows individual self-expression is necessary for your happiness. You tend to have a good way of expressing yourself with words, certainly in a manner that is clear and understandable. You have a good chance of success in fields requiring skill with words. You can be very dramatic in your presentation and you may be a good actor or a natural mimic. You have a vivid imagination that can assist you in becoming a good writer or story-teller. Strong in your opinions, you always tend to think you are on the right side of an issue. There may be a tendency to scatter your energies and have a lot of loose ends in your work. You may have significant artistic talent and be very creative.

我的生日

今天是我的生日吔！

祝我生日快乐！-掌声不绝-

哈哈！太快乐了！好多人记得我的生日吔！真的太令我感动了！

谢谢你们跟我一起庆祝生日！-抱抱-


我最近都在读几米的作品。让我看到几米对世界、人性的观点。使我用不同的角度看待这世界。觉得好有趣哦！

还有，我也借了戏剧盒的书。读了《阴道独白》、〈异族〉和关于它们的剧评。觉得一夜之间好像学了很多似的。

不多说了，得上茅厕。就此搁笔。

累了。

最近真的把我给忙坏了。我今天才发现到我真的好累。

今天没有指导课，所以不用去学校。

除了到我家对面的图书馆借一本关于剧场的书，一整个下午都在睡觉。

我吃了午饭就开始读书，读不到一会儿就睡着了。

而且，一睡就睡到1730。

你看，我是不是累了。

体力与精神都快不行了，我知道天父在牵着我的小手，道：“我在这，别担心。累了就靠在我身上。”

我知道天父看顾着我，我知道我需要祂。我会依靠祂、我会相信祂、我会永远地爱祂。

总在我最深的绝望里，遇见最美丽的祂。

busy busy busy. work work work.

these are the words i would use to describe my poly life in short.

essays, projects, group work and my baby C.S.S.

haven't been having 'me' time for quite a while.with all these work load holding me up.

but i still talk to PaPa and praise Him. btw i just bought a hillsong united cd 'LOOK TO YOU'

will update u guys again. >_<" v

i love my Father. i know He loves me too. i'll be strong for Him.

my focus will be on Him.

i don't care what u think but i just want you 2 know He did a lot 4 me.

He died for me. He looked after me. He protects me.

He is my Shepherd.

i LOVE Him. i'll keep running this race with Him till He come & lift me up.

i'll keep singing,oh Lord,till my voice runs out. sing, sing, sing! cos i cant stop! oh, i just cant stop!!

Father, i love you. Take all of me.

tues 12 07 05:

spent my whole day in JYSS. went to look 4 my tchers. missed 'em alot. chat with 'em, found out that missed me too..hahaz...

well, found out that the whole school system changed too. O well, i guess it's more efficient but not homely anymore.

updated my tchers bout my poly life. every1 was shocked that i took up chinese studies. Mr Yap said, "i owiz thought that ur monolingual. " hahaz..i guess i gave people the impression that i'm from an english speaking family.

my tchers were happy when they see me back there. all hug me & have looooonnng looonnng talks with me. i missed 'em alot. cos they really took care of me during my teenhood. & they helped me shine.

then, helped out in drama. my juniors have the potential but they are not maximising it!!!!! no1 there 2 lead & guide 'em.. 1 more thing is their A.P.-->attitude problem! they've got this heck-care attitude towards drama. they are not willing 2 learn & they lack the interest there. so i sort of build a rapport with the juniors & lecture 'em a lil..on their A.P. taught 'em a lot of stuff. stuff that heng leun taught me. some drama techniques..

overall, i had fun. had fun teaching 'em drama. maybe after my bond with MOE, i should join DramaBox. heng leun is a gr8 tcher. i wan2 learn from him. wan2 be his disciple..hahaz.. ;)

wed 13 07 05:

watch War Of The World in the evening. with my brother & Tri. i have 2 say i like it quite alot. i think Tom Cruise & Dakota Fanning did well. esp Tom Cruise, as a very desperate dad, trying 2 take care of his children & saving their lives from the damn aliens.

Dakota-though a lil too noisy, she did well as a prob kid. actually her screams irritated me alot. felt like giving her a tight slap. (if my daughter ever irritate me like that, i might repeatedly slap her. boo!) but she really show the fear in her eyes. esp when she was taken up into the machine, she was totally stunned with fear. her eyes was like, empty.

Justin Chatwin-one cute guy. i like the way he takes care of his lil sis(Fanning). & finally he respects his dad. cool!

i like the show. & Tom Cruise is sooooooo damn handsome!! Dakota is a starlet!! her acting is really totally fab!!!but she needs some image consultation..then she'll look like a superstar!

i end here today.

thanks a million, Jae!

hohoho...thanks Jae Darling for the comment you posted on my poem blog...it encouraged me...thanks a million..!

Y.J.W talked 2 me!!!

u know...i really hate it when i've got responsibilities & commitment...those who know me will know that i'm almoz like a nomad la..the only commitment i love was my commitment 2 Christ.

but i'm owiz targeted 2 bear loads of responsibilities...& make loads of commitment...sigh...why...?!

ok..sry 4 grumbling & complaining...jus trying 2 make myself feel betta. actually i feel betta after blabbering 'em out..gr8! now fully charged & prepared 2 take on more responsibilities & commitments..

cool..missed my claz...neva knew i wld miss 'em..but i do missed 'em. ya...i MISSED T1T2!!!!!

oh ya! do you guys know Y.J.W talked 2 me at Tea Chapter!!!! He's soooooo cutie!!!!! at first he smiled at me..(of cos i smiled back la) . then when i was fooling ard with my fwenzz,he tapped my shoulders and offered my a cha2 ye4 dan4. when i turned 2 him, i was stunned & mesmerized..my reply was soft, "yea, thanks.." Ooohhh...& i smiled at him. then after my speech & performance, he came 2 me & said, "you did very well. & you've spoken clearly. you did really well.." OMG!!!! do you know i almoz crumble at that pt of time???!!!of cos i dint la... i thanked him for his compliment...hehe...so happy...-grins-

C.S.S

chinese studies society is officially made known!

i'm the president, yes i know..got loads of responsibilities, got to face the media & your people...yes, yes i know...do you have to always remind me..?


but still i hope with God's help & the cooperation of my team members, i could make CSS a success!

very busy the past few weeks. tons of projects and essays fell on our backs.
well, by God's grace, i finished all of my projects and stuff. o well, except for SOCPSY.

God is good to me. at first i was really afraid of that pile of homework that was waiting for me.
but God helped me to overcome my fear. thank you Lord.

God is good, all the time. & all the time,God is good.

later in the afternoon, my team members and i, we're gna present our fundamentals in translation project. pray that everything goes smoothly.

will update again. Love You, Father.

good girl

i want to be a good girl, Father. You know me, You know my heart. i love You.
Lead me Holy Spirit, lead me.
i just want to be a good girl, Lord help me.

ok ok.. amanda here shall admit she finds the drummer cute.

but like helllooooo...so what..? i don't care!

For goodness sake! i find lotsa guys cute!! like the guys in PSF..? i mean a few of 'em
*roll my delicate eyeballs*

miss Jae a lot. hope he's still fine in NY. & Jae Darling, i'm so not flirting with you..hahaz.. *sticks out my tongue* yep, will learn some skills from you, but not to be a blessing to my future hubby(if i ever have one) -shrugZ- hubby..the idea freaks me out..lol..

went out with gurlfriend-marianne today. Love her soooo much. miss her like hell. we talked so much and we went to one fullerton for tea. Love ya gurl..ur the best!

ok ok..just 1 more confession: i find shad uber cute. like...TOTALLY!!!! ok ok..so is Leo, Maman, Mel, Ken & so on & so forth. i mean, OMG! what am i doing?!!Darn!Freaky!!Bleah!

i'm such a Don Juan! *raise one eyebrow*

what to do?

O well, what can i say?

i think i love PSF more & more. i've like fallen in love with the people there. can't wait for the next PSF meeting.

i start to doubt myself. my ability to go through this course. i realized i can't express myself well in chinese.

i can feel my confidence drooping really low. i'm afraid, i'm really afraid.

i have no idea how to be confident again. i really don't know how.

believe and receive

i guess every friday is my best day of the week. cos i'll be having 3 hours of chinese drama practical with heng leun.
yesterday night i went to oikos. had such a great time praying in the Spirit. and kevin prepared the word ed, it was amazing! i mean it was...rich! i learnt alot of things from word ed yesterday.
then i was paired up with yi chao for prayer. yi chao had a toothache, so i laid my hands on his cheek and i prayed for healing from Jesus and prayed for yi chao to have that strong faith to believe and claim the healing from God on high. when i opened my eyes, he was grinning at me, and he told me that when i was praying, his tooth dropped and the pain was gone!! Hallelujah!! Believe & receive! i think it was the child likeness in yi chao that allowed him to trust in God completely, leaning on Him completely. so let's all have the child likeness in us, to trust and lean on Him completely!!

no Don Juan anymore!!!

went for psf meeting on tues. it was fun but we went off really late. anyway, i'm like the only CHS girl there..but almost everyone thought that i'm a mass comm girl. i mean even my class rep commented on me being so like mass comm girl..do i really look like one..?! blah! whatever! who cares anyway?! we're all from the same school--FMS.

school is really fun!i mean Ngee Ann life is totally cool! i like it! studies start to get really busy. i'm now having 2 homework, one due in week 5, another due in week 7. the former is a research on a great translator in china. the latter is a theatre review on Amber by Liao Yi Mei/Meng Jing Hui. minimum words for my review is 1250!!! in chinese characters ok!!! whoosh..!! hope i could do a really good job!!

& jae, yes you've told me like in a million times!!! but you know, i don mind the jae right now..!hahaz..okok..jus kidding ok..*sheepish smile*
& i promise i will stop my Don Juan style. don't worry ok. i'll do the right thing. >_<"
& jae, have fun in NY ya, muz take good care of yourself ok..when you're free, we'll go catch a movie or play together ok.. ;) Love ya loads.. ;p

school started

Dammit Jae! i just so hope i don have to agree with what you said but yeah, it's such a fact! LoL!

well school started for like a week already. Guess who's my lecturer for drama/theatre?? it's KOK HENG LEUN!!!!! so OMG rite!!! the artistic director of DramaBox!!! i so love him!!!! you should see the way he teach. he's the best manz! i like attending his lessons. i simply LOOOVVEE his lessons! hahaz.. zhi zhe, you're the best!*thumbs up*

written comm in chinese is well..a lil boring..*raised my eyebrows* ok ok, maybe not jus a lil boring. it's like totally!!!woah...seriously..will try my best to like that subject, but don't expect much yea..lol.. >_<"

i guess i'll be there at PSF meeting on tues. but they will surely sabo the freshies[like me] darn!
sam & the rest will surely embarass me & Jo..dammit manz! sometimes i wonder why i would have the slightest interest to go to PSF. if i'm ever in my right mind, i would just avoid PSF as much as i can. but you know, i'm never in my right mind. i'm crazy!! hahaz..

NP arts camp RAWKS!!!

i was back from camp yesterday!!!
arts camp is so damn COOL!!!! we went like totally crazy!!!
hey who says arts camp is boring..?!!? it's the best camp ever ok!!! everybody is so open and we played & fool around alot...get ourselves dirty, sticky, oily and wet..hahaz..
chill night was fun. we performed for everyone. our skit,"ROMEO & JULIET"[modified version] was like so farniez!! i guess our performance left everyone in stitches,even our principal..hahaz.. then it was the dancing part, it was fun & hot but i ended up in some mess..*shrugged* but who cares??!! as long as it's fun!!
the third day was the dirty day..!! i ended up all soaked in water,flour & paint. with paint all over me. even my undergarments were soiled!!! it was crazy.but u know, i love being crazy!!!
so everybody!!! join NP arts camp next year!!! woohoo!!!
Attention to all!!! Join Yellow Chair Productions!! it's a drama club serving as a platform for youths to express themselves and their passion for the art of theatre. for more info, check out our website: yellowchairproductions.tk
no drama, no life!

just to tell u guys...

i'm off to arts camp!!!! have fun!!!

poly life will be gr8

havent been blogging for quite a while. jus don feel like blogging.
went for NP freshies orientation today. well the journey was tiring. it took 1 hour plus to get there. jus imagine what time i'll need to wake up for classes that starts at 8am. sigh..
but i like the CCAs. Chinese drama & English drama. still struggling between these 2 choices.
Shaiful says he wanna recruit me into this english drama grp that operates outside of school. we r gonna be the comm members!!! Cool!!!
next week will be really busy. 17-19may i'll be going to arts camp. cant wait, i bet it will be soooooo much fun!!! then 20 may, i'll be going for FMS orientation. get to know ppl from the Film & Media Studies school. my course CHS belongs to FMS.
cant wait for school to start!!! i look forward to poly life. tho it'll be darn tiring, i don mind!! >_<'

Name analysis[it's funny. amusing actually.]

was kinda bored just now so went to find out the analysis of my first name. here it goes:

[The name Amanda creates the urge to be self-expressive and philosophical, but we point out that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality, creating loneliness. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the liver, bloodstream, heart, lungs and bronchial area.
The name of Amanda has given you an appreciation for many beautiful and refined aspects of life--music and art, literature, drama--and the outdoors, where you find much peace and relaxation, but it creates a far too sensitive nature. You sense and feel much that you do not understand, and sometimes you are alarmed at your thoughts and wonder about their origin. You rarely experience the tranquility that comes with stability of thinking or emotional control.]

whatever! just being lame & trying to amuse myself. self-entertaining is the word.
well, going to prayer meeting later. gonna praise praise praise the Lord all night long!!!
WayyHeyy!!! gonna meet up with my cousins tomorrow cos my cousin NaNan is in singapore!!!
cool manz..it's been a long time since i last saw my cousins. can't wait to meet 'em.
ok that's all. ~tata!

God answers prayers!!

just return from my holiday yesterday..really had fun..
i thank our Father cos He keep my family & i safe during the whole journey.

now i'm back from my rest & relax, it's time for me to work hard & do my best!!
signed up for a chinese culture & history class to prepare myself for chinese studies.

i know the next 3 years in ngee ann poly will be a challenge to me cos chinese studies isn't an easy course and i'll be meeting a lot of new friends.

but i know my God is always there for me & i know i'll have to rely alot on Him. i believe that He leads me into this course, He will allow me to flourish in it. cos in Jeremiah 29:11 says
' "I have plans for you, plans to prosper you not to harm you." the Lord says'
so i believe His words and claim His promise.

good news!~ PeiPei got into the same course as me!!!! WayyyHeyyy!!! we get to be inthe same course!!! this is the result of prayer manz!!! prayer works!!! i prayed for Pei to get into the same course as me(she really want to get into chinese studies too) then she got into early childhood. we were both a little disappointed but we're happy nonetheless cos we r in the same school. after i came back from my holiday, pei told me that Ngee Ann now has a place for her in chinese studies..& she accept it!!! woohoo!!! so must thank the Lord cos He answers prayers!!!

next is the arts camp organised by Ngee Ann poly. i did not think of it until the person in charge called me and ask me whether i'm going or not. so i told him i have to discuss with my parents. when i talk to my mom, she doesn't seem very keen in it, she just said we'll see. then i prayed that my mom will allow me to go cos i really really want to go n i believe that God will protect me in the camp. so after i came back from my chinese culture & history class, i ask my mom whether i can go to arts camp. guess wad she said?? "if you feel like going, just go la!"
ho!ho! i nearly went over the moon manz!!! hahaz..so told you, prayer works! God is an prayer answering God. He may not give whatever you ask all the time, but as long as you believe in Him and what you ask is in accordance to His nature, He will give it to you.

ok that's all fer now. gotta go count my blessings, name 'em one by one. count my many blessings, see what Lord has done. & thank Him all the way!!! tata~

i got it!!

O my O my!!! can you believe it??!! i've secured a position in chinese studies!!!!!
Praise the Lord!!! Hallelujah!!!!! Woohoo!!!
on 12 may, going to ngee ann poly for freshmen orientation convention.
then, i feel like signing up for the passion arts camp during
17 may to 19 may.
seems fun..can't wait for school to start..hahaz..
going to oikos later, gonna praise the Lord all night!!!!
hee.. >_<''

getting ready

ok i'm now waiting for my mom & dad.then we will all proceed to ngee ann poly.
very excited now. can't wait to register myself..!!!
alright, gotta go. will post again later to update you guys yea..!!
tata~ >_<"

matriculation tomorrow

tomorrow i'm going to Ngee Ann poly to register my chinese studies matriculation. well, i really hope that everything goes smoothly. *takes a deep breath*
i believe God is there for me. by faith i know His grace will see me through.
saturday 16 Apr will be Abidin's birthday. think we'll all celebrate with him on friday during oikos. wish he'll have a blessed birthday & hope he could come to oikos on friday. pray that he could change his duty with some1 else.
i guess Raymond has arrived at melbourne. he went there to visit his parents. will be back in 3 weeks time. i'll miss him soooooo much..he's one good man. hope he have a fun time there & pray for journey mercy for him. God bless him.
all the best for my tomorrow!

back to JYSS

Went back to school yesterday. had a little chat with Mrs DAnial, Mr Jae Ong,Mr Yap & Ms Quek.
They are still as funny as usual.
Mrs D- still as sarcastic as ever. more exciting this time. hahaz.. my brother and i really enjoyed talking to her.
Jae- my advisor, as usual. he understands so well. A pity that we don't have much time to chat.
Mr Yap- Still calls me Meg Ryan. Still teasing me like i'm still the sec.1 girl he once knew. i promised him i'll visit even when i'm graduated. i fufilled my promise yea..( actually it's because i really missed my teachers..*sniff*)
Ms Quek- still dotes on me alot. & grins from ear to ear whenever i visit her. hahaz..
these teachers played a very very extremely impotant role in my life, i can never forget 'em.
watched my drama juniors during their practice. was kinda disappointed with their performance. lackasidal attitude, rush their lines, lack of expressions & body language. totally not there! i know 20 mins for SYF performance is totally absurd, but at least their attitude should be right!! Sigh..too exhausted to say anymore..
i'll be attending school's speech day!! for CCA award!! Yay!!! gonna see how this year's emcees do..hee... >_<"

words

Everything's alright. nowadays i just slack at home; reading up on chinese literature and history. which actually can be a little boring. but i'll persevere. don't worry.

my Ohio penpal wrote that because i live miles and miles away from him, he has to use powerful words to express himself to me. but i beg to differ. i mean, words are powerful!! you don't have to use [powerful] words. it just doesn't tell me the real you!! tell exactly how you feel so i know exactly what you are feeling.

yea, i guess that's all i wanna say fer now. will blog again. tata~

quitting.

Manz..it's been eons since i blog. been busy with work and my chinese studies stuff. like today; i'm going to a pre-enrolment medical examination for the chinese studies.
really hope that everything goes smoothly. i have faith our Father will stand by me.
can't wait for school to start. anyway im today is my last day at work. will miss Purp, Siew Fong, Grace and Sandy. guess we will still meet up for kBox ya..hahaz..
guess i gotta hurry le, so i'll end here yea.
will blog again. tata~

i hate you, louis!

I HATE YOU LOUIS!! I HATE YOU!!! IF TREATING ME LIKE I DON'T EXIST N WANTING ME TO TREAT YOU LIKE YOU R DEAD---IS THE ENDING YOU CHOOSE, THEN LET ME TELL YOU, I'M FINE WITH IT!!! I HATE YOU!!!

o level results

just got back my O level results yesterday. got 16 for my L1R4. 22 for my L1R5. but who cares bout L1R5..?im not into JCs..hahaz.. i chose applied food science, biomed, bio lab tech, chem engineering and marine N offshore technology for my JAE. i went for the interview for Hospitality & Tourism Management. went alright for me. i mean i think i performed quite well loh..then i went to Ngee Ann poly to hand in my application form for the Chinese Specialization Scheme.. heard that a lot of people applied for it. anyway, i think my qualifications are quite fitting, just that im worried that they will mind me having epilepsy.(tho my epilepsy is under control) sigh..
now im so darn angry cos i dint get to watch the drama serial i used to watched!!! cos my brother's hogging the tv!!! watch man hunt!!! phoo!!!! don't like man hunt!!! yucks! * stick out my tongue angrily*

update.

wow, it's been a long time since i last blog.
i guess i did backslided a little in my faith but i picked it up again.
i've been listening to rev. Kong's cd on 'ANTINOMIANISM'
it's so cool ok. i mean i really gotta say rev.Kong is a great preacher. so is pastor Tay, pastor Mark and rev. Raymond Mooi.
anyway, back to the topic on antinomianism. i learnt that the hindrance to the gospel 2000 yrs ago was legalism but in the end times, the hindrance to the gospel would be antinomianism--lawlessness.
the antinomians will be alot more scarier than the legalists. (tho' legalists are very scary already) antinomians believe that they had God's grace which saved them and they abolish the need of the law[esp the 10 commandments]
what was worse was that they indulge in sins, enjoy sinning and they preach antinomianism!!!!
imagine that, world full of antinomians, oh my goodness, what will this world be man??!!
so, the bottom line is, we must stand against antinomianism!!!
ok, enough said on this topic. will update again when i finished listening to the last part of the seminar.
next on will be the releasing of my O levels' results. coming friday, i heard. whoo..!!! im filled with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. seriously, i can't wait for fri. (took a deep breath, grins nervously)
will be working till end of march.sometimes i just dread going to work. cos of my working environment,the people there. oh well, will tell u more when im in the mood. gotta end here! tata..! =)

Grandma passed away

last thursday my grandmother passed away. i went through life's pain and sorrow of letting go.
at the funeral, i got closer with my cousins, especially my cousins from malaysia. it's been a long time since i saw them. i missed them now. im tired. though we're all sad and deppressed, life still goes on. the world will not stop because you're mourning. the world is realistic.

thank God

today i wanna give thanks to God.
yesterday midnight i look into my life. i have nothing to complain, seriously. in fact, i have much to give thanks about.

first of all, i wanna give thanks to Him for He gave me life. i wanna thank Him for giving me family.though my family isn't rich but we are happy, though we fought and quarrelled alot but we always,through God's grace, managed to resolve our problems.

next, i want to thank Father for giving me great teachers like: mrs danial, ms quek, mr ong, mr yap, mdm li, mdm fauziah,mdm saleha, mrs lee and mr galistan.(i might have left out some cos of my weak memory) but these teachers helped me in surviving and shining my teenhood.

i also wanna thank God for my school friends. they had fun with me during my school days, were there for me when im in deep trouble, when im down. so, Priscilla, Louis, PinWen & the closest friend of all, Marianne! guys, thanks a million!

next, im gonna thank God for bringing me to Bethesda cathedral. there, i met my family in Christ. I wanna thank God for putting YC, Kevin, Alvin kor, Dan, Deb, Gary, Emily and Kim into my life. all of 'em really dote on me alot..

then i also wanna thank God for allowing Grace, PeiPei, Jasmine and Ronald Kor into my life. cos the 3 girls are my jems at work--they never fail to cheer me up. and Ron kor is my counselor and vice versa. you could say we shared alot of probs rite..?hee.. =)

yup..so i wanna thank God for blessing me soooo much. Father, let me be a blesing also, to others.

brother bernard passed away..

i think im going crazy. im working everydayexcept wednesday, whether i want to go or not. which means no choice. sigh..

he passed away. brother bernard. the brother that i prayed for and i believed he will be healed. i received the news on friday. i was stunned then my face crumpled and i cried in front of my oikos members. i couldn't control myself & i wept & wept. i grieved.
i told kevin i was sad and disappointed. he told me smthg which think makes sense. he said of course everyone hopes that healing will take place. everyone hopes that the cancer in brother bernard's body will be driven away. but maybe it's better for the Lord to take him away because a patient with cancer suffers alot of pain. & it's extremely painful if they live with the burden of cancer. it's so painful that they could die for the painkillers. so the Lord may have taken him up so that he suffers no more.

i believe God took his life for a reason. & that is he'll suffer no more.


i miss school!i want to go back to school. i miss frens, teachers & my classrooms and the ava room, music room, the hall, the canteen and even the toilets!! & last but not least, DRAMA!!!