Monday, December 31, 2007

Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008

This is the last day of year 2007.
I guess it has been a great year for me.
Though I am still stuck with epilepsy, but I grew up psychologically and spiritually.
Been through quite a lot, did more acting and performing than anything else, which yes, I did enjoy.
But in the year 2008, I hope to earn more money and be a blessing to people around me. I want to do what God wants me to do. To give more of my time and love to people in my life, to bring them to their feet when they fall. Another thing is, I hope to write more poems and plays, hone up my writing skills.
2007's Christmas Musical was wonderful! No words can describe how much I love it, how much I love the teamwork and the effort everyone has put in. And of course, how loving and great is our God.
I want to thank my family for being so loving and understanding towards me, though sometimes I could be quite stubborn. Thanks a gazillionz Daddy, Mommy and Artie.
Also, I want to thank my bunch of close friends who never failed to care and cheer me up and always making me feel important. *muacks* to Lou and Zac, Nic, Jocelyn.
Of course not forgetting my darling sister: Marianne dearie. Thanks gurl for everything, for being so understanding of my busy schedule, never blaming me, never laying guilt traps on me. Love you dear.
Last but not least, my OIKOS family. You guys are great manz. You never know how much I appreciate you guys for treating me like an adult but at the same time doting on me and caring so much about me.
So much for 2007, it's time for 2008.
I'm sure 2008 will be a greater and more fufilling year than before.
I throw my arms wide open to embrace the coming year.
Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Yesterday morning I went for sunday service.
Altar call was to receive God's love, and to have the assurance that God loves everyone of us.
Many went forward for the altar call, including me.
Some say that we lack of self-assurance, or lack of faith.
Well, sorry but I beg to differ.
In life, not everything is smooth-sailing, we may fall, get tired or totally exhausted.
To go for altar call does not necessarily mean that we do not have faith or self-assurance, we just need encouragement from God, a touch from the Lord.
In fact, the willingness to step out to the altar proves that we saw the problem in ourselves, and we are willing face it with God.

I am much annoyed by someone who always writes his blog with this mindset as if the whole world have offended him and as if only he knows what is the best. I mean, can't you deal with life and people with a bit more of understanding and compassion? Can't you stand in others' perspective to look at life? Well, maybe I really don't understand you enough, but I don't think you have any right to pass any judgement on others.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

女人vs社会_part2

我有蛮多朋友都是未婚怀孕,然后,因为有了孩子而结婚。
所谓的shot-gun marriage。
我不是不赞同未婚怀孕,而是,我不同意为了肚子里的孩子而要男人“负责任”。
利用“责任”这两个字来绑住男人,男人就不会式着逃跑么?即使躯壳不逃,心也会逃吧。
结了婚,任何一方都可能行为出馗,也可能两个人都遗憾自己一生就这样没有了自由、要为家庭而放弃理想。
这样的婚姻真地会快乐吗?
如果,你的男人一心一意爱着你,即使老了,爱情可能变成单纯的依赖与信任,但至少那还是一种爱。
可悲的是;他不爱你,只是为了负起这个责任而娶你。
但可怕的是;他觉得要负责任,所以他娶了你,尝试爱你一生,但半途却发现原来他没这个本事爱你。最后,两个人离婚收场或者像两个陌路人一起生活,
你们想一想;对那无辜的孩子公平么?
如果,我未婚怀孕,我不会因此而要男方负起什么鬼责任。
我不需要他因为“责任”而娶我,我要他因为爱我、爱我的家人、爱我肚子里的孩子、爱我的一切才娶我。
如果,他没这个本事爱我一生,那我大可做个单亲妈妈。
女人们,当你们决定把小生命带到这个世界上,你就要有准备为他牺牲一切,他就要成为你生命的中心。
没有人要你们一辈子当单亲妈妈,当你遇到心仪的人时,你能渴望得到幸福。
但是,你要确保你得lover能够接受并爱惜你的一切,那包括你的孩子。
要不然,免谈。
孩子是在毫无选择的情况下被你带到这个世界的,所以,既然你作出了生下他的决定,就要为你的决定而负责。你有责任保护他,疼爱他以及教育他。
社会怎么看待你们未婚生子、单亲妈妈之类的想法,已经不重要了。
因为你生命的中心是你的孩子,你要为了你带来的这个小生命而勇敢地面对生活的一切。
单亲妈妈也能很快乐,也能很成功。

女人vs社会_part1

我不明白为什么社会总是觉得女人是祸的根源。
你们没有发现吗?
每次男女之间的关系或婚姻出了问题,矛头第一个指向的总会是女人。
不管是说:“是那个狐狸精勾引我老公的!”,或者说:“我的女朋友/老婆已经不能让我再感到兴奋。”又或者“She could not make me feel passionate about us anymore.”
你们有没有发现,通常男女之间出现了问题,女人总是第一个中标。
为什么?
难道男人就没有错么?
为什么第一个反应不是:“He's such a jerk!” 或者“小姐,你应该立刻甩掉他”?
Why?
如果,你的男朋友爱上另一个女生,你是不是恨死那个女人?
为何没有埋怨男友擅变的感情?或者,为什么没有怪自己in the first place没有好好的管制他?
女人为什么要为难你的同类?
而男人为什么一碰到麻烦就会全赖在我们女人头上?
Oh, do I hear your man's ego ranting again?
Ha! So sorry, I don't like what I'm hearing, NEXT!!!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

我寻找的

我刚刚买了一只手表,其实是妈妈替我付了钱。
本来,纯粹想买只手表以方便教书的时候拿捏时间的掌控,但是买了手表之后才发现自己原来可以很简单。
这只手表的表带是棕褐色,有着一个四方的脸,一点花俏的图案或亮片都没有。它的脸上整齐地排着应有的罗马数字,配上那浅褐色的脸,这只表的整体让人觉得有一种古典的简单。
我越看这只手表就越喜欢它,它看起来很简单,但却非常的沉稳,犹如一颗橡树,又扎实又有着一丝成熟,让人能够依靠。
我想,或许我在找这样的人或者我在找这样的自己吧。
一个沉稳、扎实、成熟的人,不需要多话,但是在适当的时候说对的话,而常常在一旁聆听着别人,观察着别人。
我越看这只表就越喜欢它。
可能,I'm falling in love with my watch just like how Elinor fell in love with her oak tree, 或许,有时候我们想找的qualities在人类里找不到,可能在一些东西上才找得到吧。
难怪,有时候一些人会放弃在同类群中寻找,应该是因为要找的话应该很不容易,因为,nobody could ever meet up to their expectations 所以,他们宁愿在别的东西里或在异类中找他们所希望的qualities吧。
我想,我应该是找到了,而我希望的qualities are in my watch.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

my p4 and p3

This afternoon I went to teach my Primary Four kids. They are so fun, and I meant, real fun. Basically, they weren't very good in Chinese (duh, or else why would they be in my class) but they really have that eagerness to learn something new and to interact with me. They are talkative but not rowdy, and I'm so thankful for that. I like my students to interact with me, but they must know their limits. I'm having problems with my Primary Three English Writing class. They are uber rowdy and the whole class is chaotic, I just pray they could have that interest and eagerness to learn, and not always thinking of playing games.
I love it today, I feel so happy with this Primary Four class. =) Gonna buy them some presents as prizes, 'cos we had a contest today. Whee!~

Monday, December 03, 2007

喜欢,骗你




你到底知不知道我喜欢你啊?
哈。
骗你的啦!
骗你,真的。

Sunday, December 02, 2007

stop me

This morning I felt so crappy because of him. You might think: 'What a joke, girl. You have completely put him off your mind, you totally treat him as a friend now.' Yeah, maybe. But if that is really the case, then why did I weep when I think of him? Why did I feel that I was going to breakdown if I see his face again? Sometimes I wonder have I really let go of that past relationship, what is happening to me manz? I saw him from where I was, I felt stupid performing when he was there, then I became angry with myself because I'm mindful of what he thinks. I tried to laugh hard, look other directions or even trying to look focused on what I'm supposed to do. I know all these are just ways to cover up my embarrasment as well as my heartache but I could not help it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so stupid, maybe I just need a good cry and I'll be fine. I'm just being emotional, I'll be alright soon.
Gurl, get a grip on yourself.