let me serve You Lord

[Breathe]
You are my God
closer to me
than the air that i breathe
all that i am
formed by Your Word
i'm made in Your hands

captivated
by Your beauty
falling deeper in You
Breathe into my soul
Spirit of God
fill my life with Your presence
hide under Your shadows
dwell in Your secret place
it's You i long to know

You are my song
in my darkest night
i will sing of Your dawn
all of my days
You fill my life
with mercy and grace

everyday of my life, i will wait on You
in Your presence my heart and strength renew
every moment i live, i will worship You
You've saturated my soul my heart flows
rivers of living waters.

manz, i love this song! btw, i'm glad to announce to you that i'm gonna serve God in the Befrienders' ministry. i'm gonna be a *Barnabas* well, basically,i'm an encourager and befriender. making the newcomers feel comfortable and loved. =)

Let me help you, please.

Arella stood there, looking around.
where the hell are you, Jaron?To think you are making me wait. Arrggh!!!You better pay for....
"Hey! Arella the Great!"a voice came from behind.
Arella rolled her delicate eyeballs and a smile spread over her face. she turned back and got the greatest shock of her life.
"Oh my Jaron, you're so..."she let her sentence trails away. so thin, just look at your sunken cheeks. something must be wrong.

"so what?" Jaron frowned.

"so...so naughty!! u made me wait for 10 minutes you know!! i don't care! you better pay for ice-cream later!"Arella laughed.
something is wrong, his eyes. i dont see the sparkle in his eyes anymore. oh my, Jaron, what is happening?
"ok ok. no prob! it's nice to hear your laughter again! like the good old days. ha!" Jaron smiled, looking far away. Arella turned to look at Jaron, tell me darl. what's wrong? dont smile, i know something isnt right.
"hey look at these masks! cool! look at me, now you see me, now you dont!"Jaron teased as he played with the masks.
Arella frowned. She could feel her heart beating against her rib cage, the anger building up inside. She clenched her fist and took in a deep breath.
"STOP IT!! "she screamed, snatching away the masks. "stop putting on a mask in front of me ok. stop pretending everything is ok, will you? please..?"
Jaron looked at Arella, blinked twice and froze. in fact, at that very moment the air between them was so tense that everything seems to have frozen. even time.
His face crumbled and broke into sobs.
this is the first time i see him tear. Jaron, my dear Jaron. Tears start to well in Arella's eyes,
she pulled Jaron into her arms.
Let me help you, Jaron. Please.

我要

最近不是吃就是睡，不是上网就是看电视。闷死我了！我知道，能读一读文学史，但是文学史。。。呃。。。不是很有趣嘛！

啊！！！！！！！！！！！

我快疯了！！！

我要写散文但是却很懒惰。

小蕾，振作啊！提起精神，自由地挥笔、尽情地写吧！

我要写作。我要戏剧。我要热忱，我要名声！
我要。。。我要。。。我要。。。

－倒头睡着了－

Salt Of the World/ Jae Darl

i have so much to say. but now i'm stumped. words just can't flow through my hand. arrrghh!!!

a while later....

i realised i'm having fun in baptism class. though sometimes i'm sleepy cos i dint had enough sleep, i like baptism class! i realised i'm learning new things every week. i start to look at my life and things with a different perspective? like i'm new! Yar..!

Oh ya! & yesterday's worship service is totally WOW!!! on fire!! like...VOOOM!!!! haha! i know my description is a bit weird but it's that joy in my spirit during worship,like someone has punched the YAYHEY!! button in me. haha!
yesterday's word release was cool! it just grabbed my heart & gave it a nudge.
word released: "You are the salt of the earth. but if the salt loses it's saltiness, how can it be made salty again? it is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled by men." Matthew 5:13. be the salt that preserves your brother spiritually. Are we functioning as salt in our society?
before i got this word, in my heart i was worried about my cousin cos he's facing a lot of spiritual problems. when i got the word, my first thought went to my cousin, i know i have to help him even though we're not EXTREMELY close. so i sought help from my oikos leaders and now, i guess i should be able to approach him...? yeah, i need faith and boldness. faith in God who will use me to help others and to glorify Him.

chat with Jae Darling yesterday. he's not in a good psychological state. but i hope i brightened up his day. or should i say night..? arrggh!! whatever! anyway, we had fun chatting. ha! he told me someone who like him was jealous of me cos she thinks i'm trying to get fresh with Jae Darling. that's like so amusing la. -burst out laughing- i don't deny Jae Darling is smart, handsome, cutie, mature and humorous. [yes u are, jae darl. don argue!] jae darl will owiz be my dearest brother and *bf*(our lil' secret!ha!)

jae darl, i'm really really grateful that ur owiz there to help me when i need you. i hope u will allow me to help u too. cos now i really feel so helpless. i want to help you. maybe a movie? drama?dinner? whatever that can cheer you up. remember u have me here to support u! Love ya loadz! >_<" v

actually i still have alot to say on the Salt of the world topic, but i think i will talk about it tomorrow cos now, it's FAMILY time!!! =]

christmas rehearsals

looks are deceiving.

i thought jonathan[jonathan from my church] is an arrogant guy who keeps to himself and thinks i'm weird. but after today's christmas rehearsal, i realised maybe he's isn't that bad. well, maybe the part where he thinks i'm weird is true cos even i think so myself. ha!

phew! rehearsals are tiring....but fun!!!! haha! michelle has high expectations, and i like that[though sometimes i might go oh no!please don't make my life miserable!]. but well, in that way we can improve ourselves and do a betta job and glorify the Almighty One.

sometimes, i feel weird. out of place. i don seem to belong to any group. i don belong to the youth. so whenever i'm with 'em i tend to be very quiet. dunno what topic to discuss. when i'm with the young adults, i can talk with 'em but still, it's all about school stuff & all. i think those will bore them. so...well, i think i need to reboot my mindset to suit every1s'. now rebooting. haha.

gonna heck care about everythg rite now, i jus wan2 read my DragonLady & my ChaYeDan book. then proceed to read my chinese Lit guide books. ah...alot of reading & writing. & organising activities for my CHS peeps!

God lead my way, please. i need You. let me shine for You, Lord.

you know, i know it's not a good thing getting into a depression state.
but what the hell is wrong with me??

like i will know.
if i knew i wouldn't be so friggin' pissed off with myself.

i need to write.
to let my thoughts flow from my heart to my mind to my arms and through the pen onto the paper.
ooh...just imagine that process...cool one.

write write write. read read read. yep, that's what i will do.
my remedy for my freaky mindset.weird.

我不知道要写些什么。

只是有一种要宣泄感情的冲动。

BLAH!!!!!!!

我快疯了！！！

抓狂！！！

让我睡吧。。。

蕾，就睡吧。。。

焦点

我现在一点思绪都没有。

不知该为中文学会办一点儿什么。

咳。。。

我依旧地思念着茶叶蛋。不知为何，希望能快些儿见到他。

我需要学校或中文学会或一些事，需要它们让我为它们烦恼、为它们奔波忙碌。

我需要让自己忙碌，要不然我会失去我的生活中心。

我不想整天闷在家。

i will drown if i have nothing 2 hold on. Gimme my focus.

manz...why do i always attract gurls...? haha...jus kidding la...we're all playing a fool. muahahaha!
after pei pei, qiu ling's next. haha. ok ok...don worry ok. we're not really kissing.
only this is successful. ha! no la, we dint really kissed. jus trying to play.
try kissing pei pei, she jus laugh her head off. & i burst out laughing too!
the vice president and president of CHS society, we did our job! time 2 have fun!

the thorn among the roses...ooh....ouch..! pricky eh!! haha!
after outreach we went for "brunch" den on our way 2 play and enjoy!!

outreach at marsiling sec 28/9/05. had a gr8 time! woohoo!

our first chs outreach at marsiling 28/9/05

迷上他

你们俩又和好了。我就是喜欢这样嘛。

真是的，让我紧张了一整晚。咳。。。

惨了啦！我这次真的真的迷上了茶叶蛋！

真是无知的我！

怎么可能会有结果？

蕾，放弃吧！别每天都想着茶叶蛋！

这不是跟随感觉的时候。对吧？