best birthday ever!

okay i know i bloody well didn't blog for weeks.
guess i should update u guys about stuff that happened.

first and foremost, i was hospitalised.
yep mandy baby was hospitalised for one week.
anybody miss me?!
lols. =)
well anyway it was due to urinary tract infection and gastric infection.
basically, two weeks ago i was vomitting quite bad.
almost everyday, every meal.
so, my parents were so worried that they sent me straight to A&E.
the hospital people put me on drip and it was painful.
do you feel the pain for mandy baby...? Awwww..
days in hospital were dreadful.
and damn boring.
but good thing i have family relatives and my family in Christ to come visit me.
even my pastor came!
TWICE!!
lols. ;)
well and definitely God was there.
cos there were nights when i had pain in my gastric,
sharp stabbing pains in the darkest of nights.
i desperately cry out to God our Father.
really it was so painful that tears rolled down my cheeks.
God gave me peace immediately when i prayed
and eased the pain.
woah.
God is good.
Praise the Lord.
im well now, appettite is coming back.

today is my 18th birthday.
its one of the greatest birthday ever even though im ill.
yesterday i celebrate it with my family at swensens.
even though it was simple but i was happy.
cos the whole family is in harmony and peace.
and my birthday wish was to see my family leading happy and fufilled life,
in peace and harmony.
btw, i got a bracelet from marianne gurlie and angpow from my granny.

today i celebrated with my church family.
hohohoho!
got many prezzies.
a bouquet of lillies and a pair of earrings from remus, cake and card from the whole oikos,
chocz from raymond, cd from mel and abi, angpow from esther and jimmy.
and most precious of all, their company with me the whole day.
and allow me to be a princess for today.
loadz of laughter and food and God's love.

im contented.
i know this week's gonna be busy.
so will pull up my socks.
will chiong manz.
yay!
God loves me, i love Him too!
;)

God is really amazing.
'cause He gave me the ability to control my temper today.
Thank God His word gave me strength manz.

my momma was in a bad mood today.
don't know what the heck happened to her.
but she appeared really exhausted
and in a damn bad mood.

she came back start giving me dark looks.
then nag and complain about how lazy i am,
not doing any work.
but helllllloooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm doing my homework the whole afternoon.
then i took a nap after doing my assignments.

they are quarrelling now.
my whole family.
God help me.

i'm feeling so slack.
haha.
i know my friends are going to kill me when they hear this.
they'll skin me alive cos they THINK i'm pushing myself too much.
but the problem is: i'm really slack lah. like totally.
lols.

MOVIE CRITIQUES!!!

i hate them!
they are never ending.
and i'm just at the fourth one.
still have six more to go.
bleah.
homework sucks.
BIG time.

never ending movie critiques, press release, evaluation report, feature article.
hmmm...
loadz of work to do.
but i don mind,
keep me busy and occupied.
lols.
cool.

overall i still love school.
especially ray and nan nan's lessons.
heehee...
btw, today we had ray's lesson.
and all the gurls were ogling at him.
he got loadz of fans, just that he doesn know.
haha.
totally cute.

life's great!
love y'all!
;)

u can choose 2 rmbr but its best 2 forget

《偶然》

我是天空里的一片云，
偶尔投影在你的波心——　
你不必惊异，　
更无须欢喜——
在转瞬间消灭了踪影。　

你我相逢在黑夜的海上，
你有你的，我有我的，方向；　
你记得也好，　
最好你忘掉，
在这交会时互放的光亮。

[徐志摩诗]



忘掉吧，忘掉！
因为剩下的只是伤。
你没让我心碎
是我自己一手造成的。
让我经历咸水的洗涤
吸收了再释放
让我累，让我睡。

Hsu Zhi Mo, love you!

我 等 候 你 [徐志摩诗]

我等侯你．
我望着户外的昏黄如同望着将来?
我的心震盲了我的听。
你怎还不来?希望
在每一秒钟上允许开花。
我守候着你的步履，
你的笑语，你的脸，
你的柔软的发丝，
守候着你的一切，
希望在每一秒钟上
枯死——你在哪里?
我要你，要得我心里生痛，
我要你的火焰似的笑，
要你的灵活的腰身，
你的发上眼角的飞星；
我陷落在迷醉的氛围中，
像一座岛，
在蟒绿的海涛问，不自主的在浮沉····
喔，我迫切的想望
你的来临，想望
那一朵神奇的优昙
开上时间的顶尖!
你为什么不来，忍心的?
你明知道，我知道你知道，
你这不来于我是致命的一击，
打死我生命中乍放的阳春，
教坚实如矿里的铁的黑暗，
压迫我的思想与呼吸;
打死可怜的希冀的嫩芽，
把我，囚犯似的，交付给
妒与愁苦，生的羞惭
与绝望的惨酷。
这也许是痴。
竟许是痴。
我信我确然是痴;但我不能转拨一支已然定向的舵，
万方的风患都不客许我犹豫--
我不能回头，运命躯策着我!
我也知道这多半是走向
毁灭的路，但
为了你，为了你
我什么也都甘愿；
这不仅我的热情，
我的仅有的理性亦如此说。
痴!想碟碎一个生命的纤微
为要感动一个女人的心!
想博得的，能博得的，至多是她的一滴泪，
她的一阵心酸，
竟许一半声漠然的冷笑；
但我也甘愿，即使
我粉身的消息传到
她的心里如同传给
一块顽石，她把我看作
一只地穴里的鼠，一条虫，
我还是甘愿!
痴到了真，是无条件的，
上帝他也无法调回一个
痴定了的心
如同一个将军
有时调回已上死线的士兵。
枉然，一切都是枉然，
你的不来是不容否认的实在
虽则我心里烧着泼旺的火，
饥渴着你的一切，
你的发，你的笑，你的手脚;
任何的痴想与祈祷
不能缩短一小寸
你我问的距离!
户外的昏黄已然
凝聚成夜的乌黑，
树枝上挂着冰雪，
鸟雀们典去了它们的啁啾，
沉默是这一致穿孝的宇宙。
钟上的针不断的比着
玄妙的手势，像是指点，
像是同情，像是嘲讽，
每一次到点的打动，我听来是
我自己的心的
活埋的丧钟。


我爱徐志摩！
浪漫的诗人，相信着恋爱，美与自由！
内心知道元配张幼以对他的好，
心中一角深爱着初恋林徽音，
最后用一生守护着吸大麻的陆小曼。
志摩啊，志摩！
为何我没缘当您一辈子疼惜珍爱的陈韵蕾呢？
唉。。。爱！

pissed then emo. what's next?

i'm so friggin' pissed now!
guess what?
i was in school waiting for 8 hours for NOTHING!!!
Arrghh!!!
i was in school for 8 hours waiting for the Ngee Ann Friends thingy.
we all thought it was a talk but it turn out to be an award ceremony.
when we reached LT26, we stopped in our tracks.
stunned followed by embarassment.
everyone's dress code was formal.
F-O-R-M-A-L.
and what's OUR clothings like?
spaghetti top, jeans, denim skirts and slippers.
how to go in?!
well, my lecturer did NOT explain the event as well as the dress code to us,
IN ADVANCE!
soooooo...
too bad! we decided to leave instead.
i'm friggin' pissed cos i wasted 8 hours in school,
with some bloody cramps!
gahh!

on my way home, i took bus 74 to Dover mrt station.
manz, i shouldn't have done that.
i saw this guy wearing maritime uniform walking towards me.
gosh! i thought it was him.
i was almost sure my heart skipped a beat.
started to breathe really deep and hard, cos memories came flooding back.
sweet gazes, waiting for each other, journey back home and then the hurtful words on his blog.
sigh.
you know, when i saw that nautical guy at Dover just now,
for one moment i really thought it was him.
but then, he was out at sea,how could he be at Dover?
haah. totally foolish of me.
however, im alright, really. no worries kays.
i told Gurlie i'm not gonna get involved in relationships.
at least not now.
too troublesome lah.
blame it on my inability to handle these kinda relationship loh.
lols.
but seriously, no relationships for me.
not now, not in the near future.
yupz, why choose BGR when there's peace in the making of friends?

being a SHE

Gahh!!
i sat through my chinese lit test this morning without bawling and pulling of my hair.
well,
but there was cramps.
im the descendant of Eve, what do you expect?
but that's not the point.
the point is the test was not as difficult as i expected.
THAT itself was a relief.
now i'm supposed to wait till 6pm for some kinda Ngee Ann Friends talk.
don't ask me what it is cos i totally have no i-de-a.
yea, suppose to do some work but i'm just too lazy to do it.
having cramps, u know.
lols.
okay, i know that's a uber lame excuse but just got no mood to do lah.
sad right...?
-nodz-
bah-ness.
will do later lah.
now i'm just going to "enjoy" the fruits of being a descendant of Eve.
what else to do?
its not my choice to be a She.

jus random thots

wheehee!!!
finally i finish the dumb presentation on news article analysis and 1 of the 7 movie critiques.
still got C. Lit test on tues.
-BAWL!!-
MaMmEEee!!!
feel so slack, cannot cannot.
must rise up!!!
lols.

hmmm...feel like telling papa Raymond that even though there's some slight hiccups
during worship, i still love it.
n i believe God love it too, cos He looks at our hearts not what's outside.
raymond, Jesus loves u & i love u too!

i just want to thank God sooooooo muchie that He gave me so many good brothers and sisters.
Alvin, debbie, kevin, remus, clanna, sze ting, abi, chuan, raymond, daniel, cheryl, mel, shasha, esther, jimmy, pastor mark, jeanie monkey, vis, kat, vern, yvonne and marianne darling. aiyo, if i missed out any others im sry but tt's becos i've got limited brain storage.
lols.
still gotta say, i love all my brothers and sisters!
love y'all! ;)